How do you tell people to get off the stage?

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Velkov, Jan 23, 2002.

  1. Velkov


    Jan 17, 2001
    Lansdowne, Ontario
    I played at a coffee house at my school last night and our set was a disaster.

    First of all the organizer decided to get us to play last. I wasn't too mad about that, in fact I thought it was kinda cool.

    The first band that played had this guy with a 5 string Pedulla playing some really good stuff. So that wasn't a very good confidense booster for me.

    Then there was two punk-rock Blink 182 kind of bands. People liked that enough. The next band sounded like a very angry Nirvana cover band. They did what they did really well. But it wasn't the place or the time. Half of the people at the bar left after their second song. They played for another half an hour and then we went up.

    We opened with our version of "Bust A Move". All the hippies were dancing. It was great. So, instead of playing our set which included some blues and other stuff, we decided to keep the funk coming because the audience looked so happy. And then some kid with a djembe came up to play with us. I knew who he was and I knew he was good so I just thought, "Ok, cool..." Then all these other people started coming up on stage. By the end of our second song there was 5 drunk people on the stage yelling in the mikes and playing random object. The one guy was yelling so hard, I couldn't hear myself, or the guitarist. He couldn't hear me. Our drummer couldn't hear anything either. We played like that with all these crazies on stage for another two songs and then we got cut off. I am sooooooo mad. I don't know who to blame. I guess if it was a bigger venue, the drunks would be escorted outside by a bouncer. But what was I supposed to do in a situation like this?
  2. icks


    Jul 12, 2001
    Charleroi, Belgium
    it's the job of the security guard... if he does nothing just kick the guy down the stage :D
  3. jcadmus


    Apr 2, 2000
    Okay, you see your first mistake, right?

    It was letting that guy join you onstage -- that opened the floodgate.

    Best way to handle him (assuming you were interested in playing with him) might have been to say "Hey, we'd love to do something with you, but let's get together to rehearse first -- then you can join us next time we play."

    Once the floodgate was open, however, you needed to turn it over to the management of the establishment to police the stage.
  4. bizzaro


    Aug 21, 2000
    A raised stage is always a blessing when you are performing. It makes it much easier to keep riff raff off the stage. I find glaring eye contact, body blocking, you just kinda get in the way and/or herd people off the stage by invading thier space. It is really your space. This is usually pretty effective. Sometimes if they just don't get it you have to get really blunt and ask/tell them to get off the stage.
  5. kirbywrx

    kirbywrx formerly James Hetfield

    Jul 27, 2000
    Melbourne, Australia.
    Using staring eyes is a good way to do it if you look at the "no-self esteem, crowd followers", the people that just go with the flow...body blocking and jut runnung around so there is no room where they can are also kinda work
  6. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta / Macon (sigh)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    I find that taking off my clothes and rubbing up against them to be the most effective! :eek:
    Seriously, no matter how good a friend a person is, DO NOT let them come up in the middle of a song. Give him a "wait until the next tune" signal, then announce that he'll be joining you for the next couple of tunes. That way every frustrated drunken Elvis/Bob Dylan/Marvin Gaye won't stagger up on stage.
  7. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    You know they actually paid Dylan NOT to play at coffee shops? He was that bad. Only here can a man who can't sing, and can't play guitar become one of the musical greats. :rolleyes:

    Fortunatly, when you deal with a metal crowd, very few people want to just "jam out" for no reason. Wonder why? :D
  8. mchildree

    mchildree Supporting Member

    Sep 4, 2000
    "Our management doesn't allow sit-ins" always works pretty well. Most drunks don't know anything about "our management" and don't have the brains or energy to ask further questions.
  9. mchildree

    mchildree Supporting Member

    Sep 4, 2000
    Or you could slam them in the teeth with your headstock :D
  10. With my previous band, we had a lot of stage-divers.. very cool, but sometimes they stand on the edge of the stage ( in front of the band ofcourse ), and just stand there being macho.. very annoying

    And this one time.. we had a gig in Belgium.. the place had a rather small stage, so there was not much room for monitor.. So the pedalboard was well within range of the crowd.. Some of the kids thought it was funny to mess around with my distortion pedal during the gig ( e.g. Suddenly turn the gain WAY up, toy with the EQ, pressing on/off etc )

    So as you guessed.. after 5 mins of playing AllodoX got REALLY fed up with it, turned off his amp and jumped into the crowd to kick the kid's ass.

    It turned out into a huge fight.. cops had to come over,etc.. and in the end we had to spend the night @ police-station :D
  11. Tsal


    Jan 28, 2000
    Finland, EU
    AllodoX, now that is excatly why you need to wear heavy boots on gigs like that. Nothing keeps their fingers off your pedals better than few fractures :D

    Sounds like it was a nice gig tho :)
  12. uhuh :D

    fortunately.. the roadies were real quick to get all the gear offstage, so they wouldn't get broken in the fight :D
  13. downstairs


    May 13, 2001
    Pasadena, MD
    I woulda done the same exact thing, only moved the pedal board all the way back the the amp and left the distortion on so it went WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA throughout the whole thing.
  14. mikemulcahy


    Jun 13, 2000
    The Abyss
    Do like i did, invest in a Tim. Tim is a rented gorilla, 6' 9" 300lbs of muscle-boumd security blanket. Wanna fly without a plane, step up on the stage!!!!

  15. yawnsie


    Apr 11, 2000
    Once, we were playing a quiet song, and I was at half voulme. Half way through, this bloke appeared from backstage, stood right in front of my amp, with what appeared to be someone else's bass - obviously, he fancied my job. :mad:

    At the end of the song, I decided to show him what being a bassist is really like, so I turned up to full volume and let him have it - he didn't like the volume, and quickly scampered off. And for once, I was actually heard in the mix! :D
  16. I've been in similar situations to this one before, and sometimes, asking them politely to get off the stage just does'nt work. In a situation where asking them does'nt work, maybe next time tell the bar manager, or security (if they have it) that if CUSTOMERS start getting up on the stage, you would appreciate it if they would assist in removing them. They don't have to make them leave the bar, just the stage.
    Feeling your frustration
  17. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Here's one: GET THE @##***&%%!!**# OFF THE STAGE!

    Notice how effectively I masked the expletive? You can't even tell it's four letters.
  18. Eric Moesle

    Eric Moesle Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2001
    Columbus OH
    A few bands ago, I had a singer that used a steel weight on the bottom of his mike stand as an anchor - you know, the "weight-lifting" weights. Its diameter was a tad bigger than the base of the mike stand, and one gig a guy was heckling him and flicking pieces of paper at him while standing right in front of him. One quick flick of the mike stand base to the guy's chin and . . .
  19. Showdown

    Showdown Supporting Member

    Jan 21, 2002
    Honolulu, Hawaii
    I just had this happen a couple of weeks ago. A very drunk guy first kept grabbing the tip jar and dancing with it. We were afraid he was going to take the money in it (there was $65), but he didn't even notice it he was so drunk. Then he just walked right in amongst us (we were on the floor, no stage) and just stood there. I asked him to leave and he ignored me. I am 6'2 210 lbs., a fairly big guy, but this guy made me look small. We did the only thing we could do - called the bouncer. In this particular bar, the bouncer is outside the door checking IDs, so he didn't see it happening. The bouncer got the guys uncle to take him home. He was out drinking with his 2 uncles and tried to prove he could keep up with them, but couldn't... a lesson for you young guys, don't try to keep up with us old geezers, we can drink you under the table...;)
  20. Hategear

    Hategear Workin' hard at hardly workin'.

    Apr 6, 2001
    Appleton, Swissconsin
    My band always seemed to stick me on the bathroom side of the stage, which meant that I often had to deal with the drunks coming through the stage area on their way to the bathroom. One time, I had two people bump past me while we were playing, during the first three minutes of our opening set. As I continued playing, I tried to arrange for my parents to use some nearby barstools to build a barrier around me, so future bathroom breakers had to go the long way around.

    I have never been able to understand the mentality of some people (or lack of it). I mean, are they that rude all the time, or what?

    "Just cuz you were born an as****e, doesn't mean you have to stay one."