How does one get control of an out-of-control beard?

Full nuclear, clean shave. Problem solved

 

I have a closet full of double edge razor blades and a bunch of wicked sharp Gem single edge blades so I don't get on this unfortunate situation.

Of course I have razors to go with these.

 

Me this winter. Had a short beard for the last 35 years or so. I had the same problems when I grew it out. Didn’t want to use beard wax.
Got to be too much work. Started getting in the way and too warm. So…

 

No longer than a 7 day shadow during the summer months for me.

 

I went way big in my early 30s, and it mostly behaved, though individual hairs started tying themselves in knots (literally, tiny granny knots—how?!). I backed it off eventually, but have generally kept it longer than most seem to. As the gray has steadily crept in over the past decade with its erratic texture and growth rates, it just never looks quite as neat, even though I go after it with the scissors here and there every day and the electric trimmer at least seasonally. If you’ve got the combination of curls and salt-and-pepper going on like I do, I don’t think there’s a whole lot you can do other than preen regularly or go short.

 

I suppose you could dye it green—tends to draw attention from any eccentricity in the growth.

 

If memory serves, you’ve got about a decade on me—how are your eyebrows? My right one has wanted to go full wizard for years, but the left one ain’t having it so far

 

Yeah I got the WoW "night elf" rogue single eyebrow hair also, which is extra weird, cause I'm otherwise almost eyebrowless.

Chuck Norris beard so strong, he fall down it keep running.

I just go with #1 buzz about once a month, cause I hate shaving, but its too crazy past that

 

I keep a beard because I despise daily shaving. I tried to keep it neat by getting good at daily trimming to tame the hairs refusing to cooperate, but it was not much different than a daily shave. My current compromise is having the nice lady who cuts my hair also trim my beard back real hard, then random plucking of wild hairs between visits. It behaves pretty well until it hits a couple inches, but after that it just gets worse as it gets longer.
If you are talking Duck Dynasty style, all I can offer is embrace the suck. The only thing that ever worked for me there was braiding.

 

Just growing mine long again for the first time in years. It got so frizzy, like I had an electric shock! So I'm now shampooing it every morning, and putting in beard oil twice a day. Taking the time to do this little bit of maintenance has made a big difference in how it looks and feels.

 

I'm using the oil twice a day. Also it seems to take a couple of days of this routine before it starts to work, and if I skip a day, it's Fuzz City all over again! You're probably right about the chlorine, as well.

 

Have you tried threatening it with violence?
Also, try conditioner

 

alright, @two fingers, how about some current pics of this "out-of-control beard?"