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How has having children changed you as a person?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by KiDD QuE, Jul 25, 2012.


  1. KiDD QuE

    KiDD QuE

    Jun 10, 2012
    Austin Tx
    How has having children changed you? My son is due in the middle of October and i can already see my self changing. This will be my first kid and although im nervous about being a father im excited at the same time. So how did having children change your life?
     
  2. Jared Lash

    Jared Lash Born under punches Supporting Member

    Aug 21, 2006
    Northern California
    I don't know that having kids has really changed me much as a person. In small ways sure, but fundamentally I'm really not any different.

    But of course having kids has changed my life. In countless and immeasurable ways. I can give you examples if you want but obviously it's going to be different for everyone.

    But the short answer for all parents is that you go from living for yourself to living for others.
     
  3. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    I'm still the same me I've always been. But the day my first son was born my priorities, perspectives and ability to care about another human changed drastically. Two more kids later and it's only gotten better.
    before I had kids, I couldn't stand them. Now I wonder how I ever lived life without them. I'm dreading the day they all get older and move out :bawl:
     
  4. wango55

    wango55

    Dec 21, 2011
    CT
    First off, congrats to you! I can speak from recent experience, as our son (our first kid) just hit the three month mark.

    Where to begin. For me personally, it was (and still is) a huge life change. It honestly sometimes still is hard to wrap my head around the fact that I now have a son. But it's the most rewarding feeling. As far as changes go? It's hard to explain, but I feel like I legitimately have a purpose. My whole life goal shifts to making sure my son is safe, and happy. I never realized how selfish I was until he was born - you start to realize that things like being able to watch your favorite TV show aren't as important as making sure your child is fed, or has a clean diaper, or warm enough. Your priorities take a dramatic change, and that's okay. It's all worth it though. I come home from work, and say hi to my son, and he gives me a smile that makes everything seem so trivial. I look forward to getting home even more than I used to, just because the few hours I get to spend with my son before he gets put to bed are the best.

    Purely from a superficial standpoint, I got used to feeling tired all the time. I don't think I've had a good night's sleep in 3 months, but I'm used to it. You just adjust and get acclimated to never feeling like you've gotten enough rest, and are able to function.
    You get used to doing things on their schedule too. When you leave the house depends on when they were last fed. My wife and I often don't eat at the same time unless the little one is napping. So many more things, like the TV volume being a lot lower. Or now taking an hour to leave the house because there's so much more to pack with you.

    All good things. I think it's true that you don't feel like a dad until you first hold your child. It's overwhelming, but you'll figure it out.
     
  5. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY
    Ditto to what Jared and Relic said. Having a son is like having a little creature running around the house with a T-shirt that reads: "You are my primary role model. Get your head out of your ***."

    I have found this message very inspirational over the years. :)
     
  6. EricF

    EricF Habitual User

    Sep 26, 2005
    Pasadena, CA
    This ^

    The love for my own child is like nothing else I have ever experienced. It'll blow your mind.

    Where some people want to keep their kids young and at home, I have always enjoyed the different phases of their growth toward becoming an adult and being able to be ready, willing, and able to step out into the world as young adults to make their way on their own terms.

    Being a parent is the most challenging and frustrating thing I've ever done - by far. It's also the most amazing and rewarding thing I've ever done - by far.
     
  7. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Having a child certainly changed me some, it was a fast track in growing up at 22 years old.
    Losing a child changed me even more. All other pain only pales in comparison.
     
  8. Balog

    Balog

    Mar 19, 2009
    Mukilteo, WA
    I'm a far more sleep deprived person than I was before. ;)

    But on a serious note, what Matticus said.
     
  9. 6jase5

    6jase5 Mammogram is down but I'm working manually

    Dec 17, 2007
    San Diego/LA
    Agreeing with what has been said before, it redefined the words love, dedication, commitment, protection, fear, happiness and joy for me. Just a few weeks shy of 2 years old, we wonder what we did before our daughter was born. Not that my wife and I weren't happy, but it's a whole new level now and one which we cherish. I smile when I see kids in public (behaving of course) and when I hear them make happy noises I don't barely notice, it's like normal background noise.

    You also come to enjoy the Pajanimals.
     
  10. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    That's a good point. Each phase of their development has had it's amazing rewards.
    I've got quite a spread of ages at the moment though, one heading to college this Fall, the other to high school and the littlest into 1st grade. Sometimes it's hard to switch gears with them!
     
  11. I have lost nearly any/all aversion to poop, pee & barf- as long as it comes out of a close family member, and wasn't done deliberately. ;) I am also now very tired.
     
  12. tastybasslines

    tastybasslines Banned

    May 9, 2010
    Los Angeles, CA
    +1 to most things said so far...

    For me, my patience has gotten so much better. I started to realize that there's not much you can really do about certain things. I had a long battle with my daughter yesterday and instead of snapping at about the 15 min mark...it took me about 2 hours for it to happen instead. Even then I was still fairly cool. I've learned to not be as selfish and that living a good life is truly about the way you love others.
     
  13. My kids are 26, 24, and 22 years old. My two oldest have left the home and are living on their own. My advice to you is to love your kids when they're young and spend as much time as you can with them, even giving up music if you have to. It's worth it. The time with them flies by so fast that it's incredible. Your child is born, next thing you know they're in school, then they want to borrow the car to go on a date, then they're graduating from college. It's that fast! :eek::)
     
  14. SonicBlueJoe

    SonicBlueJoe

    Dec 27, 2007
    Visalia, CA
    Absolutely, in just about every way described above by others. If I had to pick the first thing that comes to mind, it was that I had to learn to be so much more selfless. There is no I in TEAM, and you are the captain. Not saying you have to completely lose your own identity to be a good parent, but the needs of your family will trump your personal needs quite a bit more than you might be used to.

    Congrats! The fact that you are thinking about this stuff already tells me you are on the right track.
     
  15. I am no longer a selfish bastard.
     
  16. EricF

    EricF Habitual User

    Sep 26, 2005
    Pasadena, CA
    You're doing it right.
     
  17. My first child should be coming into the world in the beginning of March or so.

    I still have the same core values and am largely still the same person...but my level of appreciation for my wife, appreciation for life itself, my level of fear, happiness, and sadness have all been heightened exponentially.

    Also, I can't watch TV the same way again. I watched "A Goofy Movie" the other day and almost cried at the angsty teenager act Max pulled on his dad.
     
  18. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    ahh man just wait, it gets even better when you first see that little face :)
     
  19. The best part about it is, my opinion will finally be relevant in OT! :)
     
  20. JehuJava

    JehuJava Bass Frequency Technician

    Oct 15, 2002
    Oakland, CA
    Less bass playing and sleep. But otherwise is a-ok.
     

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