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How I tricked my spouse into a new bass/letting me practice more

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Old_Noob, Apr 12, 2021.

  1. Wife: After the kids go to bed you spend all your time downstairs playing your bass; can't you come sit with me in bed.

    Me: Ok (brings bass to bed to practice).

    Wife: That thing is huge, you are taking up 3/4 of the bed [ No snickers]
    Also wife: Can you please come up here and stop the kids from killing each other

    Me: Ok (brings bass upstairs to practice on couch)

    Kids: run around oblivious to the bass

    Wife: Oh my god, your daughter almost ran straight into that, you can't have something that huge up here with the kids running around.

    Me: (Thinks, ponders, considers, hems, haws, purchases short scale bass).

    Me: Tells wife about new bass coming

    Wife: Why do you need a second bass; you already have one.

    Me: Starting to explain.

    Her: Well, you better practice that thing 2 hours a night.

    Me: SMILE

    Her: Oh poopie, I just said that, didn't I

    Me: Yep.

    Her: Can I take it back.

    Me: The bass or your comment.

    Her: Either/both

    Me: Nope

    Her: Damn.
  2. redstrand

    redstrand Supporting Member

    May 18, 2007
    Saint Louis, MO
    Fool For Four Strings
    Well played, good sir, well played.
  3. Bonsist


    Jan 28, 2021
    That was an awesome story! Uploaded some tips straight to my head.
    So the trick is to bring your bass with you everywhere you go. Got it! :thumbsup:
  4. That's awesome.:thumbsup:

    It would have been more TalkBass if it went like this...

    "Wife: Why do you need a thirteenth bass; you already have twelve.":roflmao:

  5. i started 6 months ago. give me time.
  6. A9X


    Dec 27, 2003
    You win Internet Hubby of the Day.
    Well played.
    Old_Noob and Bonsist like this.
  7. GretschWretch

    GretschWretch Supporting Member

    Dec 27, 2013
    East Central Alabama
    And next week your spouse will embark on a shoesapalooza.
  8. Total buzzkill man
  9. Shepsdad


    Sep 22, 2019
    I bought two guitars at a thrift store, $10 each (a Lyon tele copy and a no name strat copy) simply because they were $10 each. My wife rolled her eyes and said “you already have a room full of guitars”.
    The same weekend, she went to Kohls department store and spent $200 on clothes for our grandson, which, he already has a room full of.
    groovepump, Sushi Box FX and BOOG like this.
  10. klejst


    Oct 5, 2010
    Omaha, NE, USA
    Good job sir :thumbsup:
  11. Goatrope


    Nov 18, 2011
    Sarasota Florida
    Me: I love the fact that all your bags serve a purpose. Different styles/ colors/ strap lengths/ designers/ occasions/ capacities...

    Her: You have a tracking number, don’t you. When is it getting here?
  12. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2020
    Austin, TX
    Won’t bore you with more pics.
    But I have a Duesenberg Star Player BECAUSE I showed my wife a picture of the Art Deco jack plate, then another of the tuning pegs. And she said “that would look really good on the wall of the office, you should get it.” It’s true what they say, know your audience.
  13. groovepump


    Aug 3, 2020
    Deja Vu . . . .
    Shepsdad likes this.
  14. Sixgunn


    Jun 6, 2012
    Colorado Springs
    I don't wait 30 minutes after eating, to go swimming.
    You know how I did it? Divorce!! Total win!!
  15. Erasmusman

    Erasmusman One day I will master the bass. Supporting Member

    Nov 24, 2020
    Upper Midwest
    I sit to the right of my wife on the couch when we sometimes watch T.V. together. If I were to "accidently" bump her head a few times with the peghead (not hard), she would likely ask me, "Is there something you could do to avoid bumping my head with your bass?" My response,"Oh! Sorry! I'll get a short-scale bass with a shorter neck which will keep me from hurting your pretty head!
    Mr_Moo likes this.
  16. ComeHomeShane

    ComeHomeShane Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2016
    Southern California
  17. 3bc

    3bc Supporting Member

    Mar 12, 2010
    Chicago Burbs
    Well played!

    I started up with a new teacher who is a big R&B old school kind of guy. Really enjoying it.

    My normal practice regimen is funk, scales, jazz standards, etc.

    I've spent the last month breaking down bass lines and melodies from all sorts of songs from old motown tunes to that new silk sonic song. My wife LOVES my new teacher, getting me playing more accessible music. Wife has never been so happy to hear me practicing.
    Jim Kernan likes this.
  18. micguy


    May 17, 2011
    You (of course) know that you will pay for this in the long run. Enjoy winning the battle, just know that the war is not over.

    I explained to my wife that I need variety in my life. If I didn't get it with basses, then I'd be tempted to look for girlfriends (I think she knew I was kidding). She told me to buy as many basses as I wanted.
    Novarocker and L Anthony like this.
  19. Cowboy0071


    Apr 6, 2012
    Nicely done!! Fortunately I have a Fiance that tells me I don't practice as much as I should
    Jim Kernan and Novarocker like this.
  20. Oddly


    Jan 17, 2014
    Dublin, Ireland.
    Ya gotta love Talkbass.
    Is nobody thinking that the OP is an idiot, with a wife pleading with him to come to bed and he brings his bass?
    Jim Kernan, Mr_Moo, Durham52 and 2 others like this.
  21. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

    May 15, 2021

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