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How is your Christmas?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by pappabass, Dec 17, 2018.

  1. For some Christmas is a little depressing. I don't lack much being there. Our families is getting smaller, and scattered. We moved away from families about 6 years ago. Wife's parents have passed away years ago, My parents are very elderly. We used to have house full of relatives. Each now has their own families & in-laws to meet, some moved like we did, a couple have unexpectedly passed away, others are druggies we don't want to be around. Now its just a few of us that get together. This year it will be 4 of us, 5 counting grandchild to be born any minute! We try to make the best of Christmas with whats left of family. Its sad to see families get smaller, us moving away did not help.
    How about your family?
  2. dwm74


    Nov 8, 2009
    Phoenix, AZ
    For my immediate family (two adult kids) Christmas is great and we enjoy each other's company.

    Problems start with my wife's son (my stepson) and his psycho-witch wife. Those are our only three grandkids but psycho-witch always has to create drama, and usually ends up mad and offended over the slightest thing, and causes an uproar nearly every holiday. Been hoping for years he'd divorce her but with the kids involved it won't happen.

    Gets even more complicated with my wife's family. Her mother is a domineering old battleaxe who feels the world should revolve around her. She's constantly putting my wife on guilt trips, and is never happy with anything. The wife's siblings are another bunch that I could personally do without, as only one of her four brothers is a decent human being. Wouldn't give a nickel for the other three combined.

    On top of that, they're all a bunch of freeloaders.

    But as difficult as it is dealing with the above issues for countless years, I actually love Christmas and the weeks leading up to it. I try to rediscover the 'most magical time of the year' and try to shut out all the other crap as best I can. Merry Christmas.
    pappabass likes this.
  3. It’s the way it is. Nuclear families spread out now—they don’t centralize any more. And the older you get, the more friends and family pass on, leaving you behind.

    I think about all you can hope for is to invite your immediate family, and hope they show up.
    pappabass likes this.
  4. Gorn


    Dec 15, 2011
    Queens, NY
    Mine will be like most Tuesdays except for going into work. I'm looking forward to it.
    mellowinman, BurnOut and pappabass like this.
  5. ElectroVibe


    Mar 2, 2013
    I live alone but am fortunate to have family in town who get together during the holidays. I guess it could be sad for anyone to reflect on how Christmas used to be, but I don't think you should compare something to the past. I heard that my grandfather used to get sad during Christmas, but I didn't know until many years later. Because to me it was always a joyous time, but I guess he was reflecting back on the Christmases of his youth. But if you are happy with your life situation then I think Christmas should always be nice regardless. I would try to make it work and live in the present. The present is all we have ever had anyway.
    pappabass likes this.
  6. There will be six of us here for Christmas, me, my wife, my brother, his wife, their little girl (she's 36), and my mother-in-law. My wife's kids are unable to be here this year and we can't travel to see them because we have to care for my MIL. It will be a quieter Christmas than I am accustomed to, but I will be with my wife, that is the important thing. (Also, that is the reason for my avatar.)
    pappabass and Oddly like this.
  7. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    In August my dog died. In September, my mother. Today would be my dad's 90th birthday. He only made it to 87. Everybody's dying, and I've been very sick. The IRS came after me for a bunch of $$$.

    But I'm alive, I have a wonderful ladyfriend, and my health is improving.

    I am thankful.

    Please understand, if you're reading this, that you are not alone.
    JRA, Oddly and two fingers like this.
  8. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    For most of my life, my mom's side of the family was very close and had lots of big holiday celebrations together. But the inevitable process occurred with time, kids grew up and had families of their own, some of the relationships within the family frayed and others just drifted. It's been a few years since the whole family got together, though my sister is making an effort to gather everyone for New Year's now.

    I enjoy Christmas, mainly by not making too big a deal of it. We decorate and exchange gifts and all, to be sure. But we keep the gift budget modest and the decorating reasonable and generally just don't try to make it a miracle extravaganza.
    JRA and Oddly like this.
  9. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Bitter sweet today.

    Today would have been my sister's 45 birthday. She died in '94 at 20.

    But, my life is amazing right now. My girls are 6 and 9. There's no better time for being a dad. Christmas is a time of wonder and goofballedness. Our elf on Tue shelf has been busy. He likes lights. He has strung them all through our house. You have to duck under them to get around!
    20181216_223516. 20181216_223458. 20181216_223124. 20181216_223139. 20181209_202715. 20181214_232831. 20181207_210555.
    Not to he outdone by a freaking elf, the 12 foot inflatables are back out, complete with lights and a laser show. 20181204_174910. 20181204_181407.
    The boss lady (my oldest) IMG955286.
    The goofball (my youngest) IMG955283.
    Rockin' around the Christmas tree 20181123_200713.

    Things are good. :D
    ErikP.Bass, pappabass, JRA and 2 others like this.
  10. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Those girls are adorable. You must be very proud indeed.
    Pilgrim and two fingers like this.
  11. Gravedigger Dav

    Gravedigger Dav Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2014
    Fort Worth, Texas
    Back in the day, the entire tribe lived withing 25 miles - parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and maybe one or two nobody knew who they were. Every holiday was a house full of people.
    My wife died in February, so this will be my first Christmas completely alone. I'll probably go to Austin and visit my son and some friends.
    Thanksgiving was the first major holiday since she passed. I was with my son for that. We had about 10 minutes of tears and the rest of the weekend was a lot of fun.
    pappabass and mellowinman like this.
  12. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    I know it seems obvious, but remember that she would want you to be happy.
  13. delta7fred


    Jul 3, 2007
    I lost my wife just before Christmas (Dec 12th 1999), 2 of my kids were at college, 1 still at home.

    She had invited one of my daughter's college friends, who hated flying and wasn't going back home to Greece, over for Christmas so she wouldn't be sat on her own all Christmas. I insisted that she still came and made the house as welcoming as possible and we had the Christmas that my wife would have wanted.

    That was 18 years ago, since then Christmas has always been a time for the whole family to get together. Both my daughters are now married and my son lives in Spain and with the exception of one year when he couldn't get the time off we have always managed to organise a family get together.

    In contrast on Saturday night I subbed with a band who's guitarist, about the same age as my kids, was saying how much he hated Christmas and that he would spend Christmas day sat on his own, again! I got the impression that he was enjoying the prospect of being alone and miserable. If we had been having Christmas at my house I would have invited him over for Christmas dinner but I'm not sure he would want to drive 5 hours each way to my daughter's house.
    pappabass likes this.
  14. Gravedigger Dav

    Gravedigger Dav Supporting Member

    Mar 13, 2014
    Fort Worth, Texas
    Thanks. I know. I'm not really sad for me. My sadness is she is not here to enjoy it.
    I've lost parents, a brother, a band mate, and a few friends. It is never easy, but to loose the one who was half of you and you built your life around is very different.
    I don't mean to be whining. I would tell everyone to savor every moment with the one you love most, even the bad moments. In retrospect, they don't seem that bad.
    I hope you are your's have a Merry Christmas. And to all, If you don't celebrate Christmas, may you have a wonderful celebration of whatever day you hold sacred.
  15. GBBSbassist

    GBBSbassist I actually play more guitar... Supporting Member

    Nov 23, 2010
    I'm usually very happy around Christmas, though last year wasn't the best. My father died unexpectedly last year in April so last Christmas was particularly rough for our family. I think when you lose a loved one, that first round of holidays is always going to be different. We'll see how this one goes. My sister and I have certainly been able to get through it in a typical fashion, but I know my mother is still completely destroyed over it. I do what I can for her, but I never feel like it's enough.
    pappabass likes this.
  16. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    I hope the same for you. It's been very obvious to me that you're a decent guy, and I wish you all the best.
    Gravedigger Dav likes this.
  17. Oddly

    Oddly Unofficial TalkBass Cartographer! Supporting Member

    Jan 17, 2014
    Dublin, Ireland.
    I'm not hugely into Christmas.
    It's a day off work, as Dublin Airport refuses to operate.
    It's also my son's birthday...something he's yet to forgive us for.:)

    Our day will be family-based.
    Our two kids (26 and 23) still live at home, and we'll all exchange gifts.
    We'll then visit my parents, where Mom will have a birthday cake baked for my son.
    As they get older, I treasure each passing year they're still around.
    I think there may be some cousins and my sister-in-law meeting us there. (My youngest brother, her husband, died of cancer 3 years ago...still a hard time for her and her girls).
    We'll have a Skype call with my sister in Florida...that's usually chaotic but fun.

    I'll stay with my parents for dinner, while the wife and kids go to her father where there's a whole lot of her family involved.
    It's not that I don't like them, but I get antsy around that many people.
    After dinner, I'll head home and get some food ready for a birthday supper ... wife, kids, and some of her family will attend.
    Probably throw on some music and play a couple of games of scrabble or something.

    When we eventually get rid of everyone, we'll have a glass of whiskey and that's it for another year!
    JRA likes this.
  18. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Supporting Member

    my christmas will be just fine. it won't be the spectacle of my childhood memories and it won't be the huge family gatherings of some christmases past, but i'll be with my wife and a few other tolerable ( :laugh: ) relatives. i might see a couple of friends. i'll have some beer and some great food. i have grandchildren, so: it's all about the kids --- helping to make some glorious memories for them!

    have a good moment...and call it a "merry christmas!" :thumbsup:
    pappabass likes this.
  19. Thanks! what you say is true.
    Gravedigger Dav likes this.
  20. GIBrat51

    GIBrat51 Innocent as the day is long Supporting Member

    Mar 5, 2013
    Lost Wages, Nevada
    Foe me? It's just a day off work, really. Most of my family's deceased, and for the ones who aren't, they're far away; and it's just a day off work for them, too. I had "celebrating" Christmas pretty much ground out of me, by spending too many of them in M-60 posts, fox holes, and spending that day working my butt off in some 3rd world s#*t hole. Now, I just acknowledge the reasons for it in my heart, and go about my business. My boss (who had Christmas ground out of him by the Navy version of my experience) wants to go to the gun range that day; I think I'll go, too...:whistle:
    Oddly and pappabass like this.

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