How many heavy metal guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by simpleybass, Mar 28, 2006.


  1. How many heavy metal guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Trick question....heavy metal guitarists don't screw in lightbulbs... they screw in puddles of vomit.


    :bag:
     
  2. jrduer

    jrduer

    Jun 27, 2005
    Georgetown, TX
    How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Seven - one to screw in the bulb, and six to bitch 'cause it's electric.

    ~John
     
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  4. How many prog-metal guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Zero--prog-metal guitarists never get laid.
     
  5. Benjamin Strange

    Benjamin Strange Commercial User

    Dec 25, 2002
    New Orleans, LA
    Owner / Tech: Strange Guitarworks
    How many Dead-Heads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None. They just wait for it to burn out and then follow it around for 30 years.
     
  6. Five, one to screw it in and four to brag about how they could have done it even faster.

    :bassist:
     
  7. How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    None! They have machines for that now!


    In the 22th century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?
    Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.


    How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
    None--they just steal somebody else's light.


    How many alto sax players does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would have done it.


    How many punk-rock musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
    Two: One to screw in the bulb and the other to smash the old one on his forehead.


    How many jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
    1. None. Jazz musicians can't afford light bulbs.
    2. "Don't worry about the changes. We'll fake it!"


    :hyper:
     
  8. chicabass

    chicabass

    Mar 18, 2006
    NOT USA
    How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Four-

    One to screw it up.
    One to screw it around.
    One to see how many more turns he can fit in before the bulb is well and truly 'screwed',
    and one to say he could do it better.

    chicabass/K`
     
  9. shoeline

    shoeline

    Jan 13, 2006
    Nova Scotia
    What did the drummer get on his theory exam?

    -Drool.

    How do you know when the stage is level?

    -When the drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.
     
  10. How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    -None, they just sit around and cry about it in the dark.
     
  11. John Sprague

    John Sprague Sam Shen's US Distributor

    Mar 10, 2003
    Rochester, NY
    Sales Manager, CSC Products Inc.
    Zero, they just steel everybody else's light. :)
     
  12. HumanClay

    HumanClay

    Dec 19, 2005
    Australia
    trumpet players are in the same boat, but not only would they brag about how they could have done it faster, they also would have done it louder and higher!
     
  13. How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    none, you just get the keyboard player to do it with his left hand!

    .......

    ........

    *'waits for first hurled oblject'*

    ....

    sorry, made me laugh! :)
     
  14. mark anderson

    mark anderson

    Aug 28, 2006
    Minnesota
    how many bluegrass bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


    1 5 1 5 1 5
     
  15. jobriant

    jobriant

    Aug 24, 2006
    Gilroy, CA
    How many tuba players does it take to change a light bulb?


    Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to drink till the room spins.
     
  16. stu FORD

    stu FORD

    May 22, 2004
    brilliant.
     
  17. tHEsMARTdRUMMER

    tHEsMARTdRUMMER

    Nov 29, 2009
    I am a drummer, what is that supposed to mean?
     
  18. shadygrove

    shadygrove

    Feb 14, 2008
    Marysville, WA
    Well, yeah, why would a drummer get a bluegrass joke ???

    Drumming ain't no part of nothin' :D
     
  19. bhass

    bhass

    Oct 21, 2008
    England, UK
    1st post. I'm guessing this is some kind of joke?
     
  20. How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

    It doesn't matter; punks will never change anything.
     
  21. cnltb

    cnltb

    May 28, 2005
    How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulp?
    "What's a lightbulp?" :D:bag: