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How not metal am I?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Matt Till, Aug 9, 2004.


  1. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    Alright, when I was a freshman, someone paid me to drink a cup of Code Red Mountain Dew, filled halfway with salt. Needless to say, I did it.

    I was quoted in saying, "It's like there are a thosand tiny elves inside me stabbing me with tiny elven knives." As I was huddled in the corner. I threw up lasgna, it was orange.

    I promised myself I would never consume anything grosser than that. I broke my promise today.

    College kids know this: A bunch of cheap/easy food is awesome. What you lose in taste you gain in convience/value. So I bought 20 ready made "hamburger patties" from a company by the name of Flanders for 5 American dollars.

    I took my bargain home and decided to cook one of my burgers $0.25 hamburgers. Actually it was two. I got halfway through it, disgusted. It's like cheap spam, except grosser. My girlfriend reads the ingredience... main ingredient, Hearts. Soy and Hearts.

    So my question: How do you metal guys, ninjas, samuris, day time talk show hosts do it? How do you eat hearts. I always expected them to taste like a fallen enemy, not horse ****.
     
  2. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    This is my favorite post for use as a valentine's day card.
     
  3. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    How romantic.

    *melts*
     
  4. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    1) buying heart mixed with soy. ***?? :eyebrow:
    2) a heart must be torn from the chest of your enemy and bitten into while still beating, not frozen and fried later. :bassist:
    3) it wasn't the heart of your enemy. the heart of your enemy will taste much better. :cool:
     
  5. DigMe

    DigMe

    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    It tastes kind of like enemy chicken to be honest.

    brad cook
     
  6. DigMe

    DigMe

    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    That's prett nasty, Till. It will definitely be a while before I kiss you again.

    brad cook
     
  7. Brendan

    Brendan

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    The indians say when you kill a man in the dead of winder, the steam rising from his wounds is the soul escaping his body.
     
  8. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    why is it, when you kill a man in war it's heroic, but when you kill a man in the heat of passion it's murder?
     
  9. outofthedeep

    outofthedeep Guest

    Jan 14, 2004
    East Texas
    mmm Flanders "quarter pound" "burgers".....
    ya know, if you put enough Tony Chachere's creole seasoning on them, they ain't half bad........
     
  10. mikarre

    mikarre Guest

    I do mine up with a nice marinade of A1 sauce, salt, pepper, and a little butter. I do my bat heads the same way.

    Know what could possibly be worse than what you ate? Burgers from vending machines. Ugh...I'll never make that mistake again.
     
  11. Aaron Saunders

    Aaron Saunders

    Apr 27, 2002
    Ontario
    Because you touch yourself at night.

    Matt, that's pretty freakin' gross. At least spring for the $2.50 so you can get liver-burgers, or even spleen-burgers.
     
  12. True.
     
  13. A Google image search for "not metal" gave me this following result

    [​IMG]


    One of the two is probably you.
     
  14. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002
    my money is on the guy that isn't made of metal.
     
  15. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    :)
     
  16. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    enemy chicken. Sounds like something you'd find at a Chinese food place. It almost works as a band name.
     
  17. DigMe

    DigMe

    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    I don't know...could be a trick.

    brad cook
     
  18. incognito89x

    incognito89x ♪♫♪ ♪ ♪ ♫&#983

    Sep 22, 2002
    Royal Oak, Michigan
    What are you doing? You can't talk to the camera!
     
  19. Toasted

    Toasted

    May 26, 2003
    Leeds, UK
    I'd eat heart, but im too small and pathetic to rip anyones out but my own :(