My dad had me when he was 20 and my mom chose drugs over me thus I was raised solely by my dad. He lost his own father at 12 and his mother didnt really care much for him and remarried shortly. In summary he hasnt had a great life and has really lost all trust in females, he has also alienated himself to where he doesnt have friends and so forth. At 18 I had enough and was ready to move out, he convinced me to go to college and stay at home and I appreciate that now. I have been able to pay all my tuition via financial aid because the first 3 years of college his taxes put us in the poverty bracket. Thus I have taken zero loans out. He really has helped me out and done more for me then a parent is required. He doesnt pay my gas, my insurance, didnt buy my car, doesn't pay my misc bills etc. I pay for everything except the electricity I consume, the water I use to shower and I of course occupy 1 bedroom. I also buy my own food etc, pay for the dogs food (his dog) and vet bills, and so forth. I really only cost my dad, electricity, water and I take up a room he could use for something I suppose, but with no friends I cant see any use for it. That said my dad has developed drinking problems. It started when I was younger and he was abusive to an extent. At 17 I stood up to him and we got in a fist fight, since then he hasnt tried to touch me but he is verbally abusive when he drinks, tells me I am lazy, basically makes me feel like crap for living there even though when he is sober he urges me to stay living at home and get a masters degree.....something I have decided to do but I decided long ago I will be moving out and be living on my own while working on it The main issue occurred last night when he got in a argument about me not wanting to walk across the street in broad day light and throw our trash in the neighbors trash can , because he refuses to buy trash service.........something I started paying for this month , but yesterday was May (last month). It got heated so I took my dog on a walk. When I came back I found my dish filled with bass picks throw all over the floor, my acoustic beater bass I got for free is on the ground , my rick was half in the stand , almost falling out. That bass is the most precious thing to me and I bought it new-no damage occurred. My cab was pushed around as it is on wheels and my light that was on is now off. I was mad, but he was passed out so I couldnt confront him. I instead grabbed my computer to get online and do my math homework. That is when I realized the screen of my HP laptop was shattered. As you may know its near the end of the term and I have 2 papers due in 2 weeks, plus most of my math homework is online. I just bought this HP in December and already had to send it to HP for repairs under warranty, this of course will not be fixed as it is not a warranty issue. My computer is the biggest tool I have. I wrote him a note, and put the computer and the note out in the living room. This morning when I woke up, he reverses his attitude and is all apologetic. He says he doesnt remember it and is trying o talk to me but I refuse and say "please leave me alone I need to get ready for class". He says he is going to stop drinking; I have heard that before.......he then says he is going to get me a new lap top and all this BS and asks me to forgive him. Here are my questions Do you think we are co-dependent and enabling one another? Being only 20 years apart we can relate on a lot of stuff and no one has spent as much time around each other as us, our own mothers have actually spent less time with us then we have with each other. Am I risking my own health and well being continuing this relationship? I feel guilty about not paying rent for so long even though he is the one who urges me to stay...........should I just refuse a lap top based on the principal that he does actually house me? The reality is I pay all my own bills almost so moving out wouldnt add much to the costs (looking around with a roommate it would be another 300$ or so) , I have a buddy who wants to move out with me, but I feel guilty abandoning my dad, he has no friends , no one. My girlfriends family actually loves me and they have dual citizenship in Israel and here. She is over there and they have urged me to come, problem is I have another term of college. The reasons for me living at home really were to take up to 18 credits a term and focus on college and also because I felt guilty moving out, I wasnt doing this to save a small sum of money monthly, in fact I have a decent amount of savings for someone my age , and again zero debt. What would you do, because I am at a loss I also understand many people have issues, I am not seeking sympathy merely advise on a escalating situation. I also apologize for how lenghty this thread is. BTW-this summer I am doing a 12 credit intern required for my degree, 40 hour weeks at a juvenile probation office. I am training to be a Probation Officer , after this summer I have 1 more term of classes fall 2012. I will have my bachelors in December. Had I not transfered colleges and lost credits and had not started in lower level math classes I would be graduating this term. I have taken summer terms as well but was not able to catch up fully thus I have this summer term and 1 math class in the fall.