How to approach potential band mates?

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by jodathmorr, Jan 24, 2003.

  1. Well I've been trying on and off to start a band with a group of guys I hang out with. I really don't push it much and I say it in passing like "Hey, maybe we should all get together sometime and jam a bit".

    They all enjoy the same type of music I do and i'd really like to get something going with them. Anyway, a few of them formed a small group w/o me. Nothing special. The remaining one guy plays guitar and he is a very good guitarist. I've been trying to put the idea into his head about performing at an assembly (I don't want to beg or anything because I want the experience to be fun and I don't want to come off the wrong way) but he just says "yeah. that would be cool someday". Since midterms have ended im going to try to push for us to get together once or twice to play around with some ideas. Only problem is I haven't done anything with this guy for like 3 years.

    I was wondering how you guys approach people to join a band. Can anyone give me advice in my situation?
  2. How about starting by finding some more enthusiastic bandmates? Sounds like your friends don't want you to be in their band. And since they've already balked at your assembly performance proposal, imagine how apathetic they'll be when you actually start preparing for it!

    I tried forming a band with my friends after we graduated but that got nowhere. Ended up posting an ad in the local paper and now I'm happily in a band. Good friends don't always make good bandmates.
  3. Matthew Bryson

    Matthew Bryson Guest

    Jul 30, 2001
    It sounds to me like you are not being direct. It sounds like you are going around dropping hints and hoping people will get your drift. IME that doesn't work out. People either don't catch hints or chose to ignore them. I think you need to be direct. You need to aproach the person you're interested in playing with and say: I'd like to play some music with you sometime, we can jam at my place - are you interested? If they say yes, set a time and place. If they say no, that's fine to, you'll know that's not hapening and move on. I might be wrong about you not being direct, but that is what I got from your post. The advise I offer is for every aspect of life, not just this situation. Going around hinting at what your hoping for only brings a sense of disapointment. If you want something, ask for it - get a yes or a least you'll know where you stand and you'll feel better.