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How to deal with a guy...

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Catbuster, May 28, 2011.

  1. Catbuster

    Catbuster Supporting Member

    Aug 25, 2010
    Louisville, KY.
    However, it's much more complex than that.

    I'm in a pretty decent band right now, but our drummer just left to work on a project she had been waiting on to open up for a while. So, I interview a few drummers and finally find one that can keep up, and he's a great guy. So, our rythm guitar player apparently has an issue with the drummer, and he's the second newset member of the band; plus he's been pulling our style in a way we don't want it to go.

    Normally, I would just put him down the road, as I'm the guy that usually does that and I'm a pretty blunt, stand-up guy.

    But, the problems start when you consider the fact that he's been a friend of both the lead guitar player and me for the past ten years. And he's got serious talent, and plays everything from a keyboard to a mandolin. So, he's kind of a utility guy.

    So, all I can think of is to let him go. I've spelled out my situation so if anyone can think of something else, please say so. I've thought about explaing my/guitar player's/drummers/keyboardist's stance, but that could go south very quickly. Other than that, how do I let him go without severing a long-lasting friendship?
  2. Keep things on the level and be professional about the whole deal... chances are good that everyone is feeling some tension over the direction change, including him. If it isn't working out, leave it at that... a friend will stay a friend if that is what they really are.
  3. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    the Cali Intergalctic Mind Space
    Song Surgeon slow downer software- full 4 hour demo
    Outlined your post. Sometimes it helps to put the problem in a different format.

    Seems to me you need to have a serious talk with your friend.

    Have him explain (in detail) what his issue with the drummer is. If he has a control issue then he may have to go if he can't dial it down.

    If the stylistic change has been happening for awhile, you needed to address it before now. I suggest you deal with the drummer issue first and have a band meeting later to discuss style. Using the drummer issue to bring up the style issue is very passive-aggressive. The issues are not related.
  4. Gopherbassist


    Jan 19, 2008
    I agree with Stumbo. The style and drummer issues should not be part of the same conversation. I'd say see what can be done about working out the drummer kinks, then see about style.
  5. Catbuster

    Catbuster Supporting Member

    Aug 25, 2010
    Louisville, KY.
    Stumbo, I had no intention of using one issue to bridge to the other. He's only been with us a few weeks, and has brought grunge styled material to a progressive metal band. His guitar parts are heavy all the time, not just when we need them to be.

    Honestly, I played with him extensively before, but that was a different style. I guess we made a mistake bringing him in in the first place.

    He did, however put thing behind him with the drummer today at practice.
  6. Vakmere


    Sep 6, 2007
    Try coaching a pro sports team with all those egos and you wont feel so bad......:eyebrow:

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