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How to get away with speeding

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Gunnar Þór, Aug 25, 2002.


  1. A police officer pulls a bloke over for speeding and has the
    following exchange:

    Officer:
    May I see your driver's license?

    Driver:
    I don't have one. I had it suspended for speeding.

    Officer:
    May I see the registration for this vehicle?

    Driver:
    It's not my car. I stole it.

    Officer:
    The car is stolen?

    Driver:
    That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the
    registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

    Officer:
    There's a gun in the glove box?

    Driver:
    Yes mate. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman
    who owns this car and stuffed her in the boot.

    Officer:
    There's a BODY in the BOOT?!?!?

    Driver:
    Yes, mate.

    Hearing this, the officer immediately called his back up. The car
    was, quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the
    driver to, handle the tense situation:

    Captain:
    Sir, can I see your license?

    Driver:
    Sure. Here it is.
    it was valid.

    Captain:
    Who's car is this?

    Driver:
    It's mine, officer. Here's the registration papers.

    Captain:
    Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a
    gun in it?

    Driver:
    Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
    Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

    Captain:
    Would you mind opening your boot? I was told you said there's a
    body in it.

    Driver:
    No problem.
    Boot is opened; no body.

    Captain:
    I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told
    him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove
    box, and that there was a dead body in the boot.

    Driver:
    Yeah, I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, as well.

    :D
     
  2. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    lol. :D

    if i tried that conversation down here in georgia i'd be "ford" before i could get halfway finished.





    (ford - found off road dead).
     
  3. Dave Castelo

    Dave Castelo

    Apr 19, 2000
    Mexico
    I approve!

    :D
     
  4. superfreak

    superfreak Unregistered

    Aug 18, 2002
    Clarksville, TN
    heard that one before...maybe I should try it though, since I get caught speeding all the flipping time.
     
  5. BigBohn

    BigBohn

    Sep 29, 2001
    WPB, Florida
    Speeding requires all those police officers? If parked on a red curb zone down here in Florida, they'd go Rodney King on my arse, mate.
     
  6. Heh heh, good joke.



    Actually, I remember from my prelaw class if the officer asks you, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" You don't have to say that you were speeding, and it's a bad Idea to ask them, "Oh, was I speeding?" Instead ask, "No officer, why did you pull me over?"

    There are no warrents or rights that he has to state that you have done anything wrong, if you have the time for traffic court it's a way to get out of a ticket.

    Well, at least that will work in America... I want to move to England now for some strange reason.
     
  7. no what you do is when theyre on your tail you call 911 and say theres been a robery at an adress you just saw:D hehe bye bye police oficer
     
  8. Here's an idea:

    DON'T SPEED!!

    We just had a rather nasty accident, and it's decribed in another thread. I don't like speeders. They put themselves and others in danger.

    Rock on
    Eric
     
  9. Johnny BoomBoom

    Johnny BoomBoom Supporting Member

    Jun 8, 2001
    Glasgow, Scotland
    I've seen that one before!!!! Oh and before you all think of coming to Britain - the police here play 'car snooker'. First they stop a red car, the they go for a coloured car, then they go for red again....... and see who gets the highest 'break'!!!!


    I got pulled over a couple of years ago. I went round a roundabout (do you have them in the US??? Is it rotaries that you call them???) and they were at the juntion directly opposite me. I went round the roundabout and turned right - they followed and pulled me over. They told me I was driving a bit fast round the roundabout - interesting as I had only reached about 25pmh on the strecth before they pulled me ( in a 30mph zone!).

    Eventually they let me go on my way - but it was a pain as I had done nothing wrong!!!! But being a blue car - I was worth 5 points in their 'break'!
     
  10. Points awarded by Joke Police:

    5

    Heard it before.. kinda funny.

    :D:D

    Merls
     
  11. But did you give him the penalty of trying to make the joke sound like an actual occurance?

    Rock on
    Eric
     
  12. superfreak

    superfreak Unregistered

    Aug 18, 2002
    Clarksville, TN
    I was coming out of a supermarket when an ambulence came rushing by. The back doors had flown open and a box fell out. There wasn't any traffic, so I went and got the box. I opened it and found a big toe. It was gross. I went to a pay phone to call someone, I couldn't think of who to call so....I called the big toe truck...:D
     
  13. peterbright

    peterbright

    Jan 23, 2007
    On The Bayou

    Verrry baaaad.
     
  14. TheDarkReaver

    TheDarkReaver Banned

    Mar 20, 2006
    Lincolnshire, UK
    that, sir...is the worst joke i have heard this year. :rollno:
     
  15. Probably because it's an almost 6 year old joke. :p
     
  16. Funny.


    Actually, about 3 minutes from my house their is a big police deal going on. There are 6 police cars surrounding a van. I wonder if this is the trick their pulling. I hear it might be a bunch of illegal immigrants.:rollno:
     
  17. lol
     
  18. Amazing.