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how to handle a salesperson goon?!?....

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Joe Nerve, Sep 14, 2002.

  1. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    Please put on yer thinking caps....

    Awright.... the guy at my local Sam Ash annoys me so much I find it difficult to go in there any more. Perhaps he raises my insecurities, but I'm pretty sure it's more the fact that his arrogance, attitude, and lack of humility are just too much for me to comfortably handle.

    He is technically a phenomenal player. I'm sure he spent the better part of his life locked in his bedroom practicing every scale, trick and riff ever though up for hours on end. Thing is - he has to let everybody know it and it's really obnoxious. Last time I was in the store he was sitting down demonstrating an effects pedal for someone. He'd say things like "this affect is great for pissing off your guitarist!" and he'd launch into playing stuff that would make E Van Halen look like he had arthritis. If a kid wants to check out a bass he'll say sure, plug it in, wail on it for about 30 seconds then hand it to the kid - who now doesn't even want to touch it. He seems to really get off on showing everyone that he knows his ****.

    Add to that the fact that he's quick to get an attitude, not a very pleasant person to talk to, and not incredibly helpful when it comes to question time... and you have - well, a salesperson goon.

    I work at a High School and my immediate boss isn't very well liked. Recently a disgruntled ex-teacher started sending him subscriptions to every magazine under the sun, at the school, including porn and things he won't even tell us about. His mailbox is loaded with stuff every day, and stuents are the ones who seperate the mail. I think that's pretty damn funny :D especially if you know the guy.

    Anyone have any ideas along those lines to have fun with Mr. Salesperson Goon? Or one-liners to put him in his place? I see an opportunity to have some fun here - even if just to read about all of your experiences and ideas with same.
  2. cb56


    Jul 2, 2000
    Central Illinois
    Get as many $100 bills that you can. Go into the store and stand in front of the most expensive bass there. Stand there counting the money. look back and forth at the bass hanging on the wall and your money like you are really concentrating on making a decision. He of course will come running up to you asking "can I help you"? At that point look around the room like you are looking for another salesperson. Then just say "no thanks" and walk out the door. Do this 4 or 5 times in a 2 week period. On the last day when he says "can I help you"? (probably with a real annoyed tone to his voice) you say "YES!" and watch his eyes light up. Then you say " I would like to buy 3 guitar picks please, could you help me pick them out"? Of course you take about 15 minutes to pick them out asking stupid questions like "do you have any pink ones?....
  3. CS


    Dec 11, 1999
    Find out if the guy is in a band. He probably is not. If that's the case then keep mentioning your band. Ask him if the item works in a band situation. Ask him if he's played local venues, cos you do. Hammer home the fact that you are in a band and he is not.

    If he is a band, go and see the band. They probably suck big time because he's showing off. Review the band for a local paper or internet site.

    If for some reason he doesnt show off in the band then ask him why he doesnt play like that live. He is probably shouted down.

    The trick is to find weaknesses (we all have them) and exploit them.
  4. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    There's only one way of handling Mr Salesperson Goon: walk out of the store and take your business elsewhere. The world is full of stores - service and attitude are often the only difference between them. I don't shop for lowest price but for best overall package - knowledge, friendliness, service minded-ness and of course good products.
  5. cheezewiz

    cheezewiz Supporting Member

    Mar 27, 2002
    My biggest pet peeve. I love it when I go in a store and look at a bass and the salesman pulls it down, and goes into a 3 minute slap/tap/wank-fest. I usually start looking at another bass at the same time so he gets the picture I could care less about his masturbatory meanderings.
  6. But, instead of asking about guitar picks, tell him you are interested in buying that bass, can he plug it in for you?. Then, when he goes to show off, suggest that you do not wish to buy a soiled bass, and promptly exit the store, he will never annoy you again.
  7. trinket


    Nov 25, 2001
    office chair
    "masturbatory meanderings" Good one!!! :D

    I personally am excellent at writing Disgruntled letters to the proper authority figure. BUT that isn't going to make this schumk eat feet for what a arrogant snob he is.
    How about making him a T-shirt stating loudly on the front "BIG fish in a *little* sea!" (or a button!!!!!) Give it to him, and say, "Isn't it your birthday? NO? Well it should be with all the misleading displays of superiority!" and or "Maybe a (his name) day so we can all marvel at your enormous ego?!?!" OR nnext time he plays one of his notorious little riffs, when he hands you the bass, say "OH MY, I am not sure I am worthy!" or "Naaa, I am not touching it in case that arrogance is contagious, I much prefer my humility, thanks"

    He sounds like a real prick, never underestimate the power of a good burn. It is so satifying.
  8. Listen


    May 19, 2002
    I HATE IT when they do that! I'd give the guy a "yeah that's great" look, and just walk away.
  9. LiquidMidnight


    Dec 25, 2000
    My local music store use to have a guy just like that. (Only he was a guitarist) Everytime you would try out a guitar or an amp, he would have to sit for a minute or two and play some riffs. He was also just a plain d*** to deal with. I remember once, I even tried out a bass, and he had to play some half *ssed slap routine. I felt like saying, "Dude, you're not a bass player, just give me the freaking bass". Luckily, he is no longer there, and all the other guys are very cool to deal with.
  10. Stupidnick


    Mar 22, 2002
    ...my room...
    sales people are dumb..(not all of em.. eric cameron is cool)

    but...yeah hmmm um..
    Well the salesman told my dad that the boss gt-6 was not only for guitar.. but also for bass.

    this is the same dude that tried to get my friend to buy a danelectro wah..instead of his current crybaby and told him it was cooler cause it looked like a car...
  11. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Jeez. What's the problem? Don't deal with him. Find another salesman. Take something you're going to buy in the bass department over to pro audio, and have them ring it up. Or better yet, the drum department.
  12. Listen


    May 19, 2002
    Nick, how come you get to have all the stupid people by you?
  13. Nino Valenti

    Nino Valenti Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 2, 2001
    Staten Island NYC
    Builder: Valenti Basses
    I used to work with him. I didn't care cause I was the Dept Manager & he was a..... well a salesman goon. :) I hated working with him cause as soon as someone walked in the door he'd attack them. I'd spend my time in the back away from the annoying customers (salespersons aren't the only goons. :)) & maintain the stock room & I knew where everything was & I'd help every other salesperson out. If he said "Hey, Nino, where's that MIM JAzz" I say, I don't remember & have him look for an extra 10 minutes. LOL

    I have his email address!!!!!!:D :D :D
  14. Nino Valenti

    Nino Valenti Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 2, 2001
    Staten Island NYC
    Builder: Valenti Basses
    H eis in a band & the people that I worked with that went to see the band said thet they were pretty good. :(
  15. Ask who and where the manager is, go find him and then explain the situation.

    Explain, very politely, that this salesperson is less interested in selling you what you want, and thereby spend money in the store, than in stoking his own ego.

    Explain that you can hear incredible bass by sticking a CD into a player and listening to it without having to travel to this particular store.

    Explain that you're not really all that interested in how good he plays, but how good YOU play using whatever item you're interested in.

    Explain that, if this continues, you're going to take your business to another store where you don't have to put up with this nonsense.

    Be calm, be polite, be to the point.

    *shrug* it's generally worked for me. Either someone gets talked to or I move onto another store. Either way, I win.
  16. Jeremy_X


    Jan 29, 2002
    Cattle prods will work if you want to be nasty. If that isn't your style, there is the disinterested yawn. You could ask to try out something, when he starts into his thing you can just walk away. Keep doing this until he gets the point, and of course, cattle prods.
  17. submelodic


    Feb 7, 2002
    Seattle, WA
    Next time he starts his wankfest say, "I've seen all that before."

    There was an SNL skit that depicted this exact situation.
  18. Nick Gann

    Nick Gann Talkbass' Tubist in Residence

    Mar 24, 2002
    Silver Spring, MD
    Am I one of the only people who have never had a bad music store experience?

    At the store that I go to, there is one guy who always helps me out. When I went to get my 5 string, I asked him "Do you have any used 5 string basses under $1000?" He said, "Yeah, all of our basses are over there *points to area*. The amp room is right next to it, and there are plenty of cables in there. Play which ever ones you want to try out. Come get me if you have any questions or when you pick one out."

    That simple. He was prompt when I had questions, gave me advice, even gave me a few tips. He never picked up a bass to show off his skills, and was the nicest guy I've ever dealt with. And he always gives me a discount from the tag price. When I got my 5 string, it was written up at $550, and he said "I can give it to you for $500 even right now." And that was that :D:D
  19. You could make him a T-shirt that reads:

    "If ego were talent, I'd be a pro"

    I get the exact point of your wish to make his life just a bit miserable. I say go for it as long as you aren't messing with the store or it's other customers. Here's another one but it will take some time to set up:

    Begin by putting together a few props - a briefcase with a prominent copy of Billboard magazine, a calculator, some official looking legal papers (from anywhere - even your doctor) and pens/paper etc. You want to look like a guy with something on the ball. Include a cellphone too - a headphone mike would be perfect. Begin your scam by dressing in upscale but casual wear, showered and smelling good. Go in the store under the guise of an industry exec. with some substantial contacts. You could be outfitting a studio, or buying a gift for a friend - just have a solid purpose for being there - not just "shopping". Visit several times, always opening up the briefcase with the props and sometimes taking a fake phone call that you conduct just a little louder than normal to make sure he hears. Don't take a lot of his time just make sure that the brief time you spend there works on his head. Let him be as pushy and obnoxious as he wants, in fact encourage it. Yuk it up all you're eyeing some very expensive equipment. The point is to let him start spending his commission (at least in his mind) before you've ever signed a check. When you finally get him to the point you want, go in for the final deal all ready to sign. Then conveniently "forget" your checkbook and leave to retrieve it, never to be seen again.

    Or get Vic Wooten to come in there with you and show off some chops - whichever is easier :)

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