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How To Keep The Wife From Knowing How Many Basses You Really Own

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Funkjammin, Nov 1, 2013.

  1. This inspiration for this thread roots from my guitarist; he has all his purchases, great and small, shipped to our other guitarist's home so the wife doesn't know. I, admittedly, will stash a few here and there in the house where detection isn't very likely, but I will share this, though; I have a fondness for tobacco burst bodies and maple necks/boards so most of my instruments share these same attributes....aside from minute details from instrument to instrument, they all like very similar and the wife, when she does question the existence of an instrument (very rarely - she's very good actually), I'll just say something to the effect of, "...same old color, same old neck..." Amps, on the other hand, are nearly impossible to hide....
    ....So, that said, I would like to hear from all of you what you do to conceal your nasty, filthy habit?
  2. negativefx

    negativefx complete hack

    Feb 18, 2013
    Fort Collins
    Call me crazy but I tend to be honest with my wife, particularly with large purchases that have a direct impact on *our* finances.
  3. bassman314

    bassman314 I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process...

    Mar 13, 2005
    Bay Area, CA
    I don't.

    If it's a major purchase, my wife and I talk about it and make sure we can afford it.

    If it's a smaller purchase, or something that I need for maintenance, I just get it.

    If you have to hide purchases from your significant other, you have bigger problems.
  4. senp5f


    Jan 27, 2008
    Santa Barbara, CA
    I'm not married but I'm working on getting there with my live-in girlfriend. Personally, I'd say why hide it? If you do communal finances and you're staying within agreed-upon budget limits for your toys, what's to hide? And if you have separate finances and you're paying for your own funnies, then what's to hide?

    So I say be open. If she says, "Why do you have so many basses? You can only play one at a time, you know" just say, "Why do you have so many pairs of shoes?"
  5. rolandm

    rolandm In search of the lowest note.

    Aug 8, 2010
    Peoria, IL
    Problem. I have more shoes than my wife does. Mainly cowboy boots.
  6. Johnny Crab

    Johnny Crab ACME,QSC,Fame/Hondo/Greco/HELIX user & BOSE Abuser Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 11, 2004
    South Texas

    Wifey here also learned that a lot of those basses can and do get sold when children go to college and $$$ is needed more than a bunch of "extra" basses. It was very lucky that happened prior to 2008.
  7. Junk420


    Jul 19, 2012
    Cornwall, Ontario
    My wife is amazing and lets me do and get away with a lot more than my married friends do. That being said, I'm not an idiot and I don't take advantage of it. (OP: Not saying you're an idiot by any means)

    I am just well aware of the spiteful creature known as 'Angry Wife.' She is capable of things that I can not imagine. I am a big fan of my penis; we're good buddies. I would like it if we got to hang around a little longer than my 29 years...
  8. Sorry folks, I should have prefaced this thread by saying that a display of puritanical complicity is not necessary; only those of us who are deceptive, evasive, and generally bad-all-around humans need respond. However, that said, good for those of you who have that type relationship with your significant other.
  9. Auguste


    Apr 5, 2012

    Agree with your approach

    You get caught hiding stuff and she will never trust you again
  10. Illini10


    May 15, 2012
    Elmwood, IL
    My wife knows something is up when I sell things (like my comic book collection, or my beloved Highway One Stratocaster). I bought my latest bass with some money I got for my 35 birthday and from selling the Strat. I was conflicted about letting that Strat go but it wasn't getting played, I really wanted a Precision bass and I have first dibs on the Strat if my friend decides to sell it. . .
  11. Wow, all the people who missed the fact that this is in the "humor" section...

    My idea is to make bass-patterned wallpaper. Wallpaper covered in pictures of basses of various models and colors. When you hang your new bass on the wall it will be camouflaged and she'll never notice. That's how I'll sell it.
  12. pasmithy


    Jul 7, 2011
    SE PA
    Yeah, what he said!!!

    I've been lucky smuggling basses in, except for the upright in the living room. It was the cab that my guitar playing buddy and I got caught carrying up the stairs that caused a slight problem...damned classified section on this forum! LOL
  13. Kmonk


    Oct 18, 2012
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan, Nordstrand Pickups, Korg , Conquest Sound
    My wife doesn't care how much gear I buy as long as the mortgage and the bills are paid.

    Over the past 25 years she has bought me several basses including MIA Fenders, several Spectors, a Sennheiser Wireless and earlier this year for my birthday, she bought me a set of Lindy Fralin jazz pickups. The other day she asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told her that I am thinking of upgrading my practice rig. She told me to let her know.

    If you start hiding things from your wife, she will wonder what else you may be hiding. Marriage is built on trust so don't hide anything.
  14. 4-string


    Jul 23, 2006
    I always keep an empty case.
  15. Robus


    Aug 25, 2013
    Chicago Area
    I've never understood this idea of hiding purchases from a spouse. Like she's your mom and you're a naughty boy. How about man up? That means being responsible with the family money. If you can't afford it, don't buy it. If you can afford it and the wife still resents you buying it, time to have a conversation. But sneaking around?
  16. Staccato

    Staccato Low End Advocate

    Aug 14, 2009
    Not worth it...

    Unless you've got a locked music room, and she can't work the lock.
    (Then, she'll really wonder!)
  17. P Town

    P Town

    Dec 7, 2011
    If you think your wife may object to the number of basses in your house, I suggest that you keep a few at your girlfriends house.
  18. jumblemind

    jumblemind I also answer to Bryan Supporting Member

    Aug 27, 2011
    That's asking for trouble IMO. You risk the wife finding out about the basses AND the girlfriend.
  19. fjadams


    Jun 7, 2011
    Danbury, CT
    I've found that having the wife live 1,300 miles away makes having as many basses as I like easier.

    Might not work for everybody, but it is an option.

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