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How To Keep Your Boyfriend/Husband From Knowing How Many Basses You Have

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by hernameisrio, Nov 3, 2013.

  1. hernameisrio


    Sep 27, 2011
    Berkeley, CA
    If he has a problem with how you spend your money and what you spend it on, dump his @$$. Simple!

    No, really. I just saw two similar threads about how to keep your wife from knowing how many basses you have and I was like, :rollno:.

    Guys, why is this a thing with girlfriends/wives? Are there really that many women who exist in this world solely to micromanage your finances? Or are there some bigger issues at play here? Man, you guys have some messed up relationships if you have to lie about what you buy and where you keep it. :rolleyes: I know it's a joke but it's kinda lame to joke about lying to your "clueless" girlfriend or wife.

    With all due respect to the sausage-fest that is TalkBass, um...what? Can someone explain to me why this is funny?
  2. caddywumpus


    Sep 27, 2012
    Portland, OR
    Most guys don't grow up. There's something thrilling about "getting away" with something. Some of us prefer to not act mature about this particular area of our lives. As for me, I used to revel in making music gear purchases that my wife didn't know about, and concealing them from her. I didn't think she would be okay with the amount of gear I purchased, even though I was using it all professionally. It was a sham of a situation, and I felt like I was "betraying" her because I wasn't being open and honest. I finally bucked up and fully disclosed everything. After the initial shock came the open and honest talk about how I have GAS, and it's something I have to learn to manage. She's cool with whatever I buy, and doesn't actually care, as long as I'm happy, using the gear, and not ruining our finances.
  3. As the guy who made the "lame" joke about needing a clueless wife, perhaps you should read it again. My point was exactly the same one you're making here.

    It's called "sarcasm," and it's very useful when one wants to point out the flaw in someone's thinking. :smug:
  4. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    As a guy I can tell you that many of us just never grow up. But I also know of just as many wives who hide purse and shoes from their husbands as well. This is much easier for ladies because we just don't pay attention to that stuff. My wife could carry a different purse every day for a month and I wouldn't notice.

    Our rule is $100. Anything over that and we notify the spouse. Its more about honesty than permission. I got nothing to hide from my wife.

    OP what kind of relationship are you in?
  5. I guess there must be dysfunction aplenty. I've cut down to about ten basses, which at 55 seems reasonable. Amps are paired back with no issue because stages often don't require much of one these days. My Telecaster habit is a little worse, but she doesn't complain because I just bought her a lovely marmalade colored one, and neither of us are into collecting shoes or handbags. :D
  6. AaronVonRock


    Feb 22, 2013
    My wife has about much interest in my bass gear as I do in her new shoes and handbags. I think I could play a different bass everyday and my wife wouldn't notice. I did buy a new amp one time and she didn't notice which is funny considering it sits in the corner of our bedroom. To her, they just all look like "big black boxes".
  7. SirMjac28

    SirMjac28 Patiently Waiting For The Next British Invasion

    Aug 25, 2010
    The Great Midwest
    I'm not married so I'm good
  8. pgolliher


    Apr 27, 2010
    Santa Cruz, CA
    My wife and I have an agreement - any money made from gigs is mine to spend on any music item I want- no questions asked. We have a mortgage and three kids- this works for us - the only exception was a limited edition sea foam pearl p- bass deluxe special with an ash body. I was drooling over it and it was my wife who told me to get it because she knew that it was just what I like in a bass and she knew that my "music fund" was low. It's rewarding and makes me get off my butt and get out to take cover gigs when there is something I want. I have learned lots of music that I would have otherwise passed on.
  9. Dave Curran

    Dave Curran Lilduke

    Jul 27, 2013

    Yes, oh so very yes.:meh::bassist::bag:
  10. AdamR


    Sep 24, 2007
    Bethel CT
    I dont bitch when my wife buys shoes and bags, she doesnt bitch when I buy basses.
  11. hernameisrio


    Sep 27, 2011
    Berkeley, CA
    Thank you for all the honest and illuminating answers. Incidentally, I'm in a relationship and my boyfriend is always telling ME about good deals on basses and trying to talk me into what to buy! Go figure! I have a lot of shoes too. I don't hide them though. I don't know...we're a weird bunch. :D
  12. Slade N

    Slade N Supporting Member

    May 28, 2005
    portland, or
    yes, and other parts of your life if you allow it. an action born from and allowed by insecurity. have heard stories of some equally controlling BFs and husbands.
  13. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Ha ha! I love your perspective on this forum, because that was my question, too. If my wife ever starts questioning what I spend my money on, I am dumping her for sure! I am a grownup, and I work hard for my money.

    I sure as hell wouldn't stick my nose up HER hind end like that.
  14. dbase

    dbase Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 3, 2008
    South Jersey, USA..
    I love it when my wife buys something, especially big ticket items... that means its my turn to buy something also, like more gear.
  15. dream_theater


    May 8, 2012
    Santa Barbara
    Instrumental Music
    Why aren't you all just in your low 20s and single like I am? Easy solution.
  16. hernameisrio


    Sep 27, 2011
    Berkeley, CA
    Aww. dream_theater, let me know when you fix the time machine. I'm already 31. I'm sitting here gumming my dentures and really feeling the arthritis in my left butt-cheek because it's cold out today. Now get off my lawn!

    Nah, just kidding. I was single and then I met this dude who actually, sometimes I wonder if he's a recovering hoarder. Which makes it easier for me to just buy whatever I want and not really worry. I guess that's one solution...
  17. drummer5359

    drummer5359 Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 10, 2011
    Pittsburgh PA USA
    My ex-wife was a total pain in the butt about gear purchases. I didn't hide purchases, but I got some grief over them no matter how much she spent on herself. That isn't why she became an ex. When I had a stroke and she didn't bother to come to the hospital I had an aha moment. (true story.)

    After the divorce I admit to going slightly gear crazy for a year or two.

    My sweetheart whom I've been with for five years doesn't really care what I buy. Admittedly, I don't buy as much these days. Now my own rule is that something has to leave before some thing comes in. We are just out of space.
  18. Floyd Eye

    Floyd Eye Banned

    Feb 21, 2010
    St. Louis
    I agree. If my wife dictated how I spend my money, she wouldn't be my wife. I don't tell her how to spend her money( and by her money, I mean my money lol).
  19. hernameisrio


    Sep 27, 2011
    Berkeley, CA
    Actually, the only people I've lied to about the cost of my basses, are my parents because they'd lent me money and I spent part of it on my Peavey Cirrus when I first bought it, instead of like, food and other necessities. I fudged the price by several hundred dollars. Then I felt guilty, so I eventually came clean and was just like, "This is really important to me and I wanted to finally get something good for myself after being so broke for so long....so I got a great deal on a great bass." They said, "Better a bass than a tattoo." So, I guess it's all relative. (No pun intended??) I can understand that to a degree, if you're with someone presumably for life, it makes sense to invest financially as a couple. I just think that within that, you're allowed to be human and have your own life and your own interests. And therefore, your own money.

    Example: my boyfriend just bought a freakin Neotek Elite! Try and hide that one, haha. I wouldn't dream of complaining...it's his money and I'm glad for him.
  20. ProgRocker


    Mar 25, 2011
    Sarcasm doesn't fly in text. I'd think most here would know that. Do everyone a favor, say what you mean and mean what you say. Sarcasm is an art of interpersonal communication. It just doesn't work in the cold medium of internet text.

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