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how to say no bands?

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by thehangingmist, Apr 27, 2010.

  1. i get calls, emails, facebook messages, etc from the kind of bands i dont want to join a lot these days, i dont know how to really say no to them right away:meh:
    am not really looking at joining a band or something unless its really something solid, professional happening so i do want to keep getting the calls and spreading the word out there that am looking for a serious band to work with as a member or a sessions player. but a lot of very ameture bands/musicians do call up too, now they could be really great but am not interested if its not a pre existing band or a set of good musicians who have probable gigs lined up, i just dont want to go through the all the drama and pain which comes along with a new band with no gigs! i'd rather sit at home and spend my time practicing because am really determined to improve a lot.

    so anyway how do you say no? i mean in a professional, diplomatic manner so as to keep future communication possible and not coming off too hot or rude myself you know
  2. Just tell the truth - that you are focused on some other things and you don't have the time to commit to starting a band.
  3. alan_hill


    Nov 1, 2008
    how about a short and polite, thanks for getting in touch but i'm not interested. I am a sound recordist and quite regularly get approached by amateurs, it's part of the process. Just be firm and polite.

  4. DanRJBrasil


    Jun 10, 2007
    I don't like to say no, I Usually say yes, but when is a gig that really don't interest me I just make myself unavailable giving any excuse, like a good buck gig at the same time or something like that.
  5. cnltb


    May 28, 2005
    In these cases I tend to just say it as it is: that I just can't commit to any project that is not getting work at that point.
    I'd be happy to dep in case the bassist they do eventually find can't make a gig...
  6. yeah i dont want to say "no am not interested" actually because i think that might stop getting me the calls. i should just say something like "am not looking at being a committed member of such a band right now" hmmmmm mmm
  7. billhilly66


    Aug 25, 2007
    Plano, TX
    How about: "Thanks for the opportunity however I'm not sure this is a good fit for me at the current time."?
  8. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Very simple Varun, just be polie and say something like 'thanks for the offer, but this is not the kind of situation I am currently looking for. Good luck on your search.'

    I use it all the time. Ive even been offered gigs for my band from people Ive turned down before.
  9. yep! thanks will keep this in mind.
  10. FunkMetalBass


    Aug 5, 2005
    Phoenix, Arizona 85029
    Endorsing Artist: J.C. Basses
    "Thanks for the offer, but I'm trying to find my true inner self through various outlets, namely hookers and blow."
    "Thanks for the offer, but you guys have a terrible sound. Work on it a bit, stop sucking, and then get back to me."
    "Sorry am I. Lately backwards sentences speak only can I."
    "Thanks for the offer, but I'm not interested at this time."
  11. Jonyak


    Oct 2, 2007
    Ottawa, Ont
    "sorry, not interested. good luck in your search."

    works for me.
  12. HateyMcAmp

    HateyMcAmp Supporting Member

    Apr 13, 2006
    Denver, Colorado
    It can be tough, particularly if the offer is coming from people you like at an interpersonal level or groups that have potential. I find its best to be honest, direct, respectful. I've found that even in turning down a gig, you can reflect your professionalism and leave a good impression with the other musicians.
  13. yeah exactly!
  14. Kipaste


    Jun 27, 2006
    Helsinki, Finland
    Honestly, I think you would hurt less feelings if you just said no. Think it from the other guys angle: they're looking for a bass player, someone who they can play, practice and create songs with, not someone they can miss at the practice or gigs. What you're essentially doing is wasting their time they could be spending looking for a bass player who is actually committed to the band and that's highly unprofessional. So why not start with "sorry, I'm busy doing other gigs?"
  15. Yerf Dog

    Yerf Dog

    Jun 29, 2009
    Carol Stream, IL
    Set up a meeting and then blow them off.
  16. im just honist with them

    "i dont want to be in a half a$$ed metal band who the bass gets mixed out every single song because your so insacure that someone with only 4 string will steal your thunder"
  17. whats with all the dishonesty today on the forum??
  18. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    A lot of people have no dignity.
  19. RustyAxe


    Jul 8, 2008
    "Thanks for the call. I'm pretty busy these days pursuing other projects and can't commit to another until something gives. Please keep my number (email, whatever) in the event things change. Hope to catch you guys around the music scene. Sincerely ... blah blah."

    That's all it takes. I'd rather be known as simply unavailable than be known as a lying sack o' crap. Treat others as you would want them to treat you (hey, that ought to be a rule somewhere!)
  20. Bob C

    Bob C

    Mar 26, 2000
    Duluth, MN
    There's some good advice here, but also some readers have missed the OP's point. He DOES want to play, but not with just any band that comes along. AND he's afraid that saying "no" will take him off the "available" list.

    I completely agree with the poster who said your stock response should be along the lines of "I can't commit to anything other than a solid gig (X dollars, Y number of jobs, established band, or whatever blanks you choose to fill in) at this time. Give me your number. I'll call you if my status changes."

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