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how to tell them no

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by 60's Bluesman, May 11, 2010.


  1. 60's Bluesman

    60's Bluesman

    Feb 7, 2010
    Michigan
    ok i had a theard up about this like a month ago, to fill you in a guitar player and a female singer invited me to play bass for their band but our styles and musical tastes are way different.

    well i went and jammed with the guitar player, we had a good time hanging out and all but musicaly we just didnt click. as i was afriad our tastes in music and life are very different, not syaing hes wrong or im right just we arent compatable.

    i want to stay his friend but he wants to to join his band playing covers of green day and avenged seven fold music. its totaly not my style and i never ever play that genre of music. i mean if im not into what im playing then theres no sence in doing it, right?

    how do i tell him no and still stay his friend?
     
  2. Send him a link to this thread, or tell him what you told us. Candor goes a long way.
     
  3. ^ Yep ,just lay it out like you layed it out in your post: I like hanging out,but I'm looking to play other music.
     
  4. This is NOT a big deal for a grown-up. Your musical tastes don't mesh. That shouldn't be any kind of detriment to your friendship.

    If we could only be friends with people who shared our tastes and interests, the world would be an incredibly boring place. And we'd learn a lot less from each other.
     
  5. Yerf Dog

    Yerf Dog

    Jun 29, 2009
    Carol Stream, IL
    Rip it off like a band-aid. Be direct. Be honest.

    Pics or no female singer.
     
  6. jive1

    jive1 Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Alexandria,VA
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    +1000000
     
  7. harry182

    harry182

    Nov 28, 2009
    England
    Im with dalkowski. If there really are your friends. Shouldnt be too much of a problem

    Saying that, i was in a similar situation and Im soft as out. Got brought up in a MSN convo and i thought to myself i have to say something now as its a perfect time (apart from being on the net) and if i dont, ill never say anything!
     
  8. 60's Bluesman

    60's Bluesman

    Feb 7, 2010
    Michigan
    i agree but hes very much close minded about music. for example i love the beatles and he refuses to listen to any of their music or that he does seem to realize or care that led zepplin has more songs other then "whole lotta love".
    im mean hes also very arrogant about his skills, like "i can play any instrament if i wanted to but i cant play them all at once so thats why i got bandmates." stuff like that
     
  9. Rob Lewis

    Rob Lewis

    Feb 23, 2006
    London
    Been there. Bin time.
     
  10. sevenyearsdown

    sevenyearsdown Supporting Member

    Jan 29, 2008
    Sanborn, NY
    honesty, still the best policy
     
  11. EricF

    EricF Habitual User

    Sep 26, 2005
    Pasadena, CA
    Simple...

    "I enjoyed hanging out with you, but I think I want to do something different musically. Thanks for letting me come check it out, though. I hope you guys do great."

    It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. If he has a problem with it, he's not a very good friend.
     

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