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Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Peter McFerrin, Apr 2, 2006.
Traumatize, not warp.
You REALLY want to tweak them? Throw THIS at them:
A non-Japanese kid, maybe. Pretty much all Japanese cartoon characters have huge heads and huge eyes so the kid in the picture should be used to them unless she usually lives under a rock.
But you see, that's the Japanese equivalent of a clown at the circus.
Or Mickey Mouse at Disneyland, except Mickey is deranged and hypersexualized.
Wouldn't that turn him into Mickey Rourke?
Here's "How to Warp a Child, Nos 314-383" (69 pics)
Aw, c'mon, that's just Rowan Atkinson.
mr. bean will dominate you.
C'mon, we need more stories of real-life warping here. Me, I had a paying-attention problem in 2nd grade (before they were widely diagnosing ADD) and my teacher made me work in a refrigerator box. For serious! Now you go.
When DHC was 7, he once asked his mother, "Mommy, why do I get this funny feeling in my pants when I look at you?"
My first grade teacher was the oldest living creature I had ever seen at that point in my life. She had been a teaching nun until she got old enough that she was expected to pretty much die at any time. So they ship her off to my hometown, where there is a whole neighborhood of houses (like two blocks worth!) just for old priests and nuns waiting to die. She gets some roommates. They all die. She gets new ones. They all die. She gets new ones. They all die. Time passes, until somebody from the school district discovers that, right there in our district is a qualified Elementary educator without a job, and the district is desperate for first grade teachers. So they promptly hired this 90-ish year old demented crone.
On the first day of school, we all sit down at our desks. She picks up a piece of chalk, walks to the board, and says " Make this mark." Then she picks up a big-ass wood and metal ruler and hits David, Kim, and me. She didn't ever say why. She just hit us. This happened several times. "Now make this mark." *WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!* Kim was the first to be so sore that she couldn't use her good hand, and in stead picked up the pencil with her clumsy hand. That time only David and I got hit. But she still never said "Don't use your left hand." She just hit us.
My grandmother taught me to read when I was four years old, so when the evil crone was drawing letters on the board and saying "This is an AAAAAAAAAAA." I would be staring out the window. She looked at me and thought (apparently) "Hmmmm. He's really clumsy. He keeps dropping things. And he won't pay attention in class. Oh I see. He's retarded." So they sent me to the 'special' class for several weeks, until they caught me reading the Three Musketeers, which is apparently out of character for a retarded six year old. So they sent me back to her classroom.
Having her for a teacher could definitely warp a kid.
And you're telling me that won't warp small children? ESPECIALLY if he became pope?
Nightmare on 34th Street
I can think of worse.
Besides, Atkinson's Anglican.
Taking the low road now, are we?