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How you know your kid is yours

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by MakiSupaStar, Feb 28, 2008.

  1. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    Well I have had a few confirming moments. Not only does he look like me, but today he ran up to me with our digital camera.
    "Look daddy," he says holding the viewer up to my face.
    I look at the viewer and it's a picture of his crap in the toilet.
    "That's a big one, huh daddy?"
    It was an emotional moment for me. I didn't know if I should cry, or just let my chest swell with pride. It was at that moment that I knew he was my child. For better or for worse, he holds the Maki gene.

    Those of you with kids, what was your defining moment.
  2. When I got the test results back.
  3. Mark Wilson

    Mark Wilson Supporting Member

    Jan 12, 2005
    Toronto, Ontario
    Endorsing Artist: Elixir® Strings
    Sorry dude. I know it said "Mark Wilson" on it.
  4. bassaficionado6

    bassaficionado6 Something about gumption

    Jan 7, 2008
    Napa, CA

  5. Valerus


    Aug 4, 2005
    Austin, Texas
    Maki...lucky dog!
  6. Disraeli Gears

    Disraeli Gears

    May 29, 2007
    Damn.. If he's good enough to make even Maki feel proud, he'll go pretty far in the world.
  7. One nice hot Texas summer day a snake poked is head out from under a coke machine at a local hangout, and while grown men and women went running and screaming in all directions like it was a nuclear device about to explode....quite calmly my 12 year old daughter reaches down and picks it up and announces to everyone hey what are you running for, its just a hamless Elaphe obsoleta lindheimeri (Um for all of you non snake people thats latin for Texas rat snake :D)

    yep thats my daughter...
  8. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    Awesome. :D
  9. I have two stories (both happened at restaurants, interestingly):

    When my son was 4, he and I were at the local pancake hose/family restaurant on a Saturday morning. While waiting for our food to arrive, a member of the service staff dropped an entire tray of coffee mugs. Of course, the whole crowded restaurant fell silent... except for my son, of course, who jumped up onto his seat in our booth and yelled "Doh!" a la Homer Simpson. The place erupted with laughter. I was so proud. :D

    The other time was when he was about 5 and the two of us were at Wendy's. There were two little girls about my son's age running around the restaurant and creating a disturbance. One of them tripped, and did a faceplant onto the tile floor right in front of our table. As she ran away screaming, my son, without looking up from his meal deadpanned: "Hmmm... that'll leave a mark." I almost choked I was laughing so hard. :p
  10. msquared


    Sep 19, 2004
    Kansas City
    Maki, that is hilarious.

    How do I know my daughter is mine?

    The other day I was going to the hardware store. My son asked where I was going. When I told him, my daughter asked me if I'd get parts to build a robot while I was there.

    How do I know my son is mine?

    He came up to me one day with a very important secret. At two and a half years old there simply aren't many of these. When I asked him what he wanted to tell me, it was two simple words: "helicopter pizza".
  11. msquared... your sig is hilarious. :D
  12. NKUSigEp


    Jun 6, 2006
    Bright, IN
    LOL How do you know he's not mine? ...though I haven't ever been to California ;)
  13. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    That second story got me doing my TB chuckle. You all know the one. The one where the rest of your family looks at you like you just pooped an ostrich out your ear. :D
  14. marcray


    Nov 28, 2006
    Englishman in Oyster Bay, NY
    Aging Former Bass Player
    looks, and the fact that 'Little T&A" was the first song she ever reacted to as a toddler...
  15. casualmadness


    Dec 15, 2005
  16. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX

    If that is an indication that a kid is yours then I think I had one of yours in my class this year. Kid drew a picture on his paper of someone taking a dump and saying, "AAAaaaah. That feel good!"

    He HAS to be yours...except he's black.

  17. peterbright


    Jan 23, 2007
    On The Bayou
    The mailman fails the paternity test.
  18. Simple.

    My Daughter: we build a snowman, except we made it with those plastic snow-brick makers, so we decided it was a "snow robot" instead.... and my Daughter blurted out in robot voice:

    "Why am I so cold?" while staring blankly with her arms held forward

    there have been other moments, but I never laughed so loud as that, and KNEW she was mine because of her warped sense of humor.

    My Son: really simple. He smacked my Wife on the ass at just 4 years old and said "Nice job on that butt".

    I guess I should stop doing that...(I can't help myself) again, a hearty laugh at something that tho was inapropriate, was so funny I had to laugh in spite of almost "encouraging" that behaviour.... he has since stopped. v;O)
  19. fenderhutz

    fenderhutz Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2007
    Harpers Ferry WV
    My son just turned 2. We starting to teach him about certain things are private. We refer to his privates when are changing his diaper as his winkie and the boys. We aren't religious or prudish people.

    Well......His grandparents were here yesterday and they were giving him a bath while we were cleaning up our basement. I start hearing ROARING laughter upstairs.

    He sat on a toy in the tub funny and said "Nana, I hurt the boys."

    What have I done........ :)
  20. cheezewiz

    cheezewiz Supporting Member

    Mar 27, 2002
    When my daughter had just turned two, her mother and I were at a local eating establishment with her. The waitress asked my daughter what she wanted, and she replied, in her two year old speech pattern, "I want a hamburder, fwies, catchup, and...YOUR BUTT STINKS!"

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