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Humorous Phrases

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Anesthesia, Oct 2, 2009.

  1. A thread was posted recently and it contained the word lark.

    some people did not know the meaning of the word due to not having exposure to it.

    *disclaimer this is not meant to be derogatory or insulting just fun*
    however we can rectify this. include in hear any words or phrases that are common, humorous, and possibly never heard by other people.

    in australia we have some good ones for ugly women.
    she has a face like a bucket full of smashed crabs, or
    she has a face like a half chewed mars bar, or
    she has a face like a robbers dog.

  2. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Big Dogs Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    also an expression referring to woman - "butterface".
    as in "everything looks good but her face".
  3. and the prawn job. nice body but you need to get rid of the head.
  4. continuing the theme... "paperbagger"
  5. BassyBill

    BassyBill The smooth moderator... Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Midlands UK
    Or "bobfoc" (body off Baywatch, face off Crimewatch).
  6. Hi.

    A slight derail of describing just uglies:

    "As fit as a butchers dog"

    In fact, it was a Kiwi who told me that IIRC so it'll probably be appropriate to the OP's location.

  7. AnchorHoy


    Dec 29, 2008
    New Jersey
    "If all men were brothers, would you want your sister to marry one?"

    From an old-timer I used to work with:

    "He's so crooked he can't even sleep straight"
  8. Two phrases from my grandfather:

    1) Instead of going on a wild goose chase, he'd say you were going on a snipe hunt.

    2) If something wasn't on quite straight (say, a runner on a table wasn't square, a picture was crooked on the wall) it was 'cattywampus.'

    When I was in college, if one of us saw a nice-looking guy (there were four women in our apartment), we'd nudge each other and say "rock," as one of the other women was studying geology and there's a type of rock called "gneiss" (probably spelled that wrong) that's pronounced "nice."
  9. warwick.hoy


    Aug 20, 2006
    Spokane, WA.
    Beta Tester: Source Audio.
    Too poor to pay attention.
  10. peterbright


    Jan 23, 2007
    On The Bayou
    Too pooped to pop.
  11. warwick.hoy


    Aug 20, 2006
    Spokane, WA.
    Beta Tester: Source Audio.
    To describe people who are destined to work menial jobs,...

    "If you don't buckle down in school you'll wind up punching ***holes in animal crackers"
  12. this reminded me of another.

    when you know someone who rarely spends money, you could tell them they are tighter than a fishes a**hole.
  13. Hi.

    Not actually a true story AFAIK, but "Flies Like A Lead Zeppelin" can be used to describe quite a plethora of things and events.

    (Yes, I saw the MB episode ;))

  14. My dad has one that cracks me up:

    "that guy is so cheap he could roll a wooden nickel around clifton hill all day and still come home with change"

    Clifton hill is the tourist centre in Niagara Falls.

    My old boss had a few too:

    "What's a matter, are your ears painted on?"

    "You couldn't organize a piss-up at a brewery"

    "That guys wound up tighter than a bull's arse at fly time"

    there's more, but if I clean them up they're not that funny.
  15. Ugly: you look like you fell out of an ugly tree & hit every branch on the way down.
    She's a two bagger.

    Somewhat related, heard it the other day: Your mama's teeth so bad that when she smile, it look like her tongue's in jail(pardon the ebonics; that's how I heard it).
  16. Mark Wilson

    Mark Wilson Supporting Member

    Jan 12, 2005
    Toronto, Ontario
    Endorsing Artist: Elixir® Strings
  17. fenderphil


    Sep 1, 2006
    Houston, TX
    rectum? hell no, it damn near killed them
  18. My own, for any sound I find unpleasant:

    "That sounds like a cat eating a baby in a blender."
  19. I couldn't find a date in women's prison with a fistful of pardons. I toned it down, you could figure it out.
  20. L-A


    Jul 17, 2008
    Poker? But I barely know her!

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