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Hypothetical question for the guys under 30

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by MAJOR METAL, Feb 17, 2006.


    MAJOR METAL The Beagle Father Staff Member Supporting Member

    This is a completely hypothetical question for the guys under 30 , would you get envolved with a women who already has Children ? .
  2. Toasted


    May 26, 2003
    Leeds, UK
  3. Personally, I'd sort out my grammar and spelling first. ;) ;)

    On the other hand, I'm over 30 and, therefore, ineligible.
  4. Oysterman


    Mar 30, 2000
    Probably not if she's got full custody of the child(ren). Kids take up a lot of your time and demand a lot of attention - attention I'd rather give my lover, and I'd rather that she'd direct hers towards me. That, and I'm simply not good enough with kids to have them around me all the time.
  5. Sure would, as long as I could get on with them.

    I spend most of the day with other people's children (I'm a teacher) - what difference would a couple more make?
  6. cheezewiz

    cheezewiz Supporting Member

    Mar 27, 2002
    Well, Im not anywhere near under 30, but when I was, I did, and it was a mistake. I'm not saying that it can't work, but it does make things a lot more difficult.
  7. Vorago

    Vorago (((o)))

    Jul 17, 2003
    Antwerp, Belgium
    Depends on the situation I guess.
  8. Basschair

    Basschair .............. Supporting Member

    Feb 5, 2004
    Stockton, Ca
    In my early 20's I dated a girl who was a year or so older and who had a baby. It didn't bother me one way or the other. Ultimately it didn't work out because a) she just wasn't that smart, b) it wasn't a point in my life where I was ready to be in a long-term relationship, and c) it wasn't a point in my life where I was ready to be in a long-term relationship :smug: .

    Now, being just a smidge over 30, I'd have no problem with it (of course, I'm happily married now). The father would either have to not be in the picture at all, or would have to be cool. I've never been one for baby-daddy drama.
  9. Tsal


    Jan 28, 2000
    Finland, EU
    I probably wouldn't. I would find it strange that a woman has given birth in a union that clearly hasn't been optimal situation to bring up the children.
  10. canopener


    Sep 15, 2003
    Isle of Lucy
    No. A friend of mine just got out of a messy situation involving a woman an her child, and it was nothing but ugly.
  11. Kronos


    Dec 28, 2005
    Philadelphia, PA
    I'm just slightly over 30, but I wanted to add some insight.

    Here's something to consider:

    Say you and this woman get along well. You get to know her children quite well, and they really like you.

    Then one day you realize it isn't working and you should move on. You know who ends up suffering? The kids, simply because they're wondering why it happened more than once. They blame themselves, they blame their mothers, all because they may not understand why people don't get along.

    Make sure that if you do decide to get with this woman that you discuss this heavily with her.
  12. fookgub


    Jun 5, 2005
    Houston, TX
    Nope, but I'm too young for kids.
  13. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    No prolem at all. On the first date, take her out for too many drinks, take her back to her place and march right in like you own the place, and yell DADDY'S HOME! Women love this.

    Okay, maybe not.

    I think once you reach the age of 25 or so, most everyone has children by then. If you're discounting those who do, you're narrowing down the field to where it will be difficult in finding someone.

    I don't think the mass majority of people with children are looking for a father figure. Most HAVE a father, and the last thing someone would want is someone coming in thinking they are insta-daddy to someone elses kids.

    I've come to the conclusion that if I were to end up single, that's just most likely going to have to be part of the deal.
  14. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    I guess I could agree with Smash's point of view as well, so I have to add this disclaimer:

    *Depends on how hot they are, and how many tricks they know.
  15. Muzique Fann

    Muzique Fann Howzit brah

    Dec 8, 2003
    Kauai, HI
    no gracias.
  16. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
  17. I am awesome with kids but don't want any of my own. I feel that I should never have a child of my own and have reasons for it, not in my life please and thank you.
  18. rjny36


    Jan 29, 2006
    Syracuse, NY
    I'm 22, and have been involved with women who have kids twice. I have none of my own. The first time, it was relatively easy, as the father wasn't in the picture at all, and the kid was two when we split... none of the parenting stuff at all was expected of me, and I just got to do fun stuff. It seemed like an okay situation for the most part, except that "alone time" was infrequent at best. The problem came in when I split, 'cause the kid absolutely loved me, and threw fits all the time when I wasn't around. Knowing that it hurt the child, we tried to do the whole "friends" thing for a little while, and I'd go over to hang out with her daughter, but it was a major pain in my a$$. I did the "nice guy" thing for as long as I could, but it was just problematic all the way around.

    The second time is actually with my most recent ex-girlfriend, who has three kids, who are a bit older. The father is a big waste of human life, who physically abused my ex-gf and her son. He's in jail now, but wasn't for the first six months of the relationship. We were together for a year, and those kids really started looking at me as the father they always wanted. She called it quits last October, and these kids had lots of problems with their mom, anyway, but now that we've split up, they act out terribly, and it's really been a detriment to their already rocky relationship.

    My advice? It's a very difficult path. If you become a regular part of the kid's life, you'll have an impact on that child and the family dynamic. Not a decision to enter into lightly, and if I could do it over again, I'd insist on keeping myself mostly out of the kids' daily life, unless an engagement occured.
  19. irjason


    Nov 17, 2001
    Louisville, KY
    For me it would depend a lot on the situation with the kids father. It also would depend on the number of kids. I could handle one, but more than that would certainly make it hard to have a kid of "my own".
  20. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    I'm 34 now, but when I was 24 I had to make this choice. The woman I was interested in had two kids. She let me know right up front about it. But, she did not let me meet the kids until she was sure I was "safe". Once she was sure I was OK, I met the kids and we all hit it off. We got married a few months later.

    It's been 10 years, and things are going just fine. One kid has moved out on her own and going to college. The other is about to turn 17.

    I don't think this is a question where a generic yes or no works.