I am Quitting My Damn Band

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by PinkFloydDan, Dec 17, 2005.

  1. I am tired of their sh%%t. BAsically, they erased my song from the setlist, trying to play games with me like I wouldn't even notice and then they make the comment they think it sounded better with the keys player who left.

    This is what they did last time, but they made all sorts of excuses why, when taking my songs or refusing to play them. Last time we split up, but we re-formed. And, we have a gig tonight.

    Why are guitar players such asses? The drummer and him are best friends and every time we practice they drive home together and basically make set list order and decisions on their own.

    I need a new band so bad. I am beyond frustrated with these guys. After tonight, I plan to let them know, I am done.

    Or should I just stick with them, deal with the bull **** and just learn and jam considering there are no other plans insight for me to jam with a new group or person.

    They do this every time. We'll play one of my originals live and then after that they'll remove it from the setlist without even really discussing it--sort of chicken **** and even if they do try to even remotely bring it up today, I just ignore them becuase if I speak up the guitar player will say I am "being hostile" like he always does and then they'll gossip and talk **** about me on the ride home.

    I feel like I am playing with a bunch of lazy kids.
  2. Barfly


    Dec 27, 2000
    GTA, Canada
    Punch him in the throat.
  3. fenderx55


    Jan 15, 2005
    My band's kind of the same way, except i have a relatively open dialogue with the guitarist, who's really the only person I speak to in the band anymore. However, he and the drummer are attached at the hip, so what am I to do? The drummer has a temper problem so we try not to let it flare up.

    Long story short, I went to school, I only deal with them during break.

    You on the other hand, are in a crap position: your thoughts aren't being heard and you deserve more of that, not even as bassist, as a person. From what I'm reading, your stuck in this cycle and it doesn't look good. I say, play the gig and tell them you're gonna start looking for a new band, or give them an ultimatum or something.

    best of luck,
  4. plexibass


    Jun 30, 2005
  5. scottz0369


    Mar 1, 2005
    Oahu, Hawaii
    Sounds like a bummer. It sounds to me like you have a couple choices-first is talking to your bandmates about your concerns and airing them out to see if they're aware of the problems you've identified (it may be a matter of perception), or you could walk.
    Whatever you choose, I'd recommend that you find a situation that you can enjoy. If you stay where you're at, you'll just become bitter, which will affect your attitude as well as your musicianship.

  6. StringsOf4


    Dec 16, 2005
    Get the fack outta there!! I'm in almost the same situation. My drummer guitarist and I get along well but it's the singer i can't f'in stand. It's either him or me after our gig on the 22nd. I get a feeling the guitarist wants him out to, but they've been friends forever so he'll feel bad if we let him go. You, though, should get out, there are other bands no matter how hopeless it seems, unless you live in PA like me.
  7. Dkerwood


    Aug 5, 2005
    Start looking for another band. Play the rest of the booked schedule, but let the other guys know that they'll have to find someone else to play any future gigs (or if there are several months of bookings, tell them you're giving a month's worth of notice - or 2 weeks or whatever). Then play the CRAP out of those remaining gigs. Be the best, most easy going bassist you can be. Give them plenty of time to see what they've lost out on, and then don't feel bad when you do go your own way.

    Playing in a band shouldn't be a chore. You should enjoy what you're doing - at least overall. It sounds like you're almost dreading doing anything with your band... and that's no way to operate.

    Get out, and get someplace where you're having fun.
  8. Person2Person


    Sep 13, 2005

    Wellcome to the life of a musician. :p
  9. BillytheBassist


    Aug 18, 2005
  10. DaftCat


    Jul 26, 2004
    Medicine Hat

  11. Welcome to the life of a bassist.
  12. fraublugher


    Nov 19, 2004
    ottawa, ontario, canada
    music school retailer
    wow very good jack

    ya run for your life

  13. Haha. Ironic--we actually have a song titled Barfly. Gig went well. Guitar player flopped :)
  14. I didn't say anything to them about leaving. I think I enjoyed the gig too much listening to the guitar player fall on his ass twice during the gig :). I, however, got several compliments directed toward his way, which he told me about. COOL!

    It's not a volatile situation if I gave that impression. These guys are potheads if that offers any insight---not that I care, but don't complain about loss of energy when your stoned all day, ya know? The drummer likes to blame his energy loss on the room we jam in and the lighting, not his heavy pot smoking. When he says this **** I just silently think how ridiculous he is. The guitar player is just an egotistical Hitler type. The other night he said he didn't like me because I don't really like the tune "So WHat." He seemed to think everyone in the world loves the song and that those who don't are inferior.

    He has a jealousy complex for sure.

    I could go on and on. I will probably have to lay out my concerns upfront and see how they handle it. One thing is for sure: I won't do a live gig with them anymore if the guitar player doesn't stop live tuning in front of everyone and pausing the show---what an ass!
  15. Toasted


    May 26, 2003
    Leeds, UK
    He's an anti-semite waging a secret war in western Europe?

    We've been through this once already - you guys have to let us guys KNOW the intelligence. If you don't keep us in the frame how are we supposed to deal with these problems?

  16. Petary791


    Feb 20, 2005
    Michigan, USA
    How old are the people you're playing with?
  17. I am 31. I think they are late 20s. Sad, eh?
  18. AlembicPlayer

    AlembicPlayer Im not wearing shorts

    Aug 15, 2004
    Pacific Northwet, USA
    you have originals?
    they won't play them?

    find another group of artists....
  19. Embryodead

    Embryodead Banned

    Nov 30, 2005
    Providence, RI
    I agree, I mean currently the band i'm in it's pretty much if you write it we'll play it, everyone is pretty well versed when it comes to guitar so lets just say there are alot of bands out there that will pretty much play anything.
  20. Ryan L.

    Ryan L. Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 7, 2000
    West Fargo, ND
    Or the ear. That can be fun. :D