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I am so not metal.

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Benjamin Strange, Feb 14, 2011.

  1. Benjamin Strange

    Benjamin Strange Commercial User

    Dec 25, 2002
    New Orleans, LA
    Owner / Tech: Strange Guitarworks
    Yet, at almost 34 years old, I've joined my very first metal band. The band name is still up in the air - they've recorded a few pre-Strange demos under the moniker Secrets of the Sky.

    Apparently, not only am I the de-facto bassist, but now I'm going to be the singer as well. Trouble is, I'm totally not metal enough. I'm a wee man, yet I'm in an ambient/sludge/metal band. Aren't you supposed to be fat, tattooed, and drunk? My Ovation Magnum weighs more than I do, I deplore tattoos, and I don't drink much at all. Hell - is an Ovation Magnum even metal at all? It's sunburst - shouldn't I be playing some pointy bass with blood painted on it? I don't own a single metal band T-shirt, nor do I have any spiked wrist bands, nor long hair. I wear glasses! How am I supposed to head bang without my glasses flying off?

    Help me, my brothers - I'm a metal noob, and need some counseling.
  2. Man, anything can fly these days, especially if you can pass it off as being 'ironic'. If you play well and don't give a **** what anyone else thinks of your gear or appearance, the music will speak for itself to anyone whose opinion you should be paying any attention to.
  3. Metal bassists don't require much luckily, though if you're doing vocals, you'll need a few extras.

    I recommend a beard to start with. Metal dudes aren't well kept, and a beard adds onto the burley factor as well.

    As a frontman, you'll probably want to yell incoherently at the crowd before every song, and not be able to enunciate song titles at all.

    Might want to consider ditching the glasses while you're playing, for their own safety is nothing else. Quite the number of antics can occur while playing metal gigs. Speaking of antics, you'll want to make sure your stage presence is up to par.

    You can get away with quite a bit at metal shows, so headbanging, or any kind of "stage moves" are encouraged. Unless you're playing uber technical stuff, there's no excuse for standing around like a statue. Then again, you may be relegated to the microphone for vocals, so headbanging might be your go-to.

    Watch some Slayer videos on youtube. Tom Araya should be a good role model for the bassist/vocalist in a metal band.

    I wouldn't worry about what bass your using, as long as it is not so heavy that you'll be weighed down and tired from the gig. No one watching you will call you out for having a sunburst bass.. though some blood smeared across it couldn't hurt :smug:

    There are so many cliche and overused metal stage moves I wish I could show you or properly explain. I am not sure what it is like in your area, but I can only imagine there are just as many terrible things going on in the metal scene over there. :atoz: Once you start playing shows with other bands, you'll see some hideous trends.

    Hopefully this is a nice introduction to your metal career. :bassist:
  4. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    Decline the position and look for a band you fit in.

  5. this

    don't play metal if you don't like it. You might try to be "in the pocket" which is a ridiculous concept for most modern metal.
  6. I agree with this for the most part. After listening to the tracks they had up, it wasn't very aggressive metal though. I was digging it to say the least haha I don't think it's so abrasive that someone not inherently into metal wouldn't like it.
  7. Kipaste


    Jun 27, 2006
    Helsinki, Finland
    Do you have a taxidermist nearby? Get a stuffed animal. A badger or something like that.

    Only thing I know for sure is that all credibility issues can be solved by showing up with a stuffed beaver duct taped to your head.
  8. Absentia


    Feb 25, 2009


    I think he should buy a light tweed sport coat, checker it with a sharpie marker and play Ska scale runs to the music.

    I'm way not metal and I play in a metal band... I don't even like metal music for god's sake, open chord "chugga chuggas" make me want to kill my guitarists. Headbanging makes my sinuses hurt and I play a squire with shiney chrome pickup covers (made out of metal but not metal? *shrug).

    Any who, what was the question?
  9. Absentia


    Feb 25, 2009
    wait, wait,... I got this


    Sirs, we have a team uniform.
  10. HaMMerHeD


    May 20, 2005
    Norman, OK, USA
    Heh, in spite of public opinion, metal isn't all about image.

    For example, consider Helmet:


    Image plays a part, but it isn't everything (unless you are Gene Simmons).
  11. Big_Daddy


    Nov 24, 2010
    Central Alberta
    When I was listening to metal in high school (I've still kept some of the old bands I listened to), I found that the genre was too conserned with image. I've always just felt that you should do your thing.
  12. after listening to some of it.. plaid and a beard. just feel the music... i hope most of the crap being said in this thread is in jest cuz its way off. metal is about attitude not image.

    if you are heavy and half decent the audience will appreciate it.
  13. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    Given you're now the unofficial band leader, can I suggest you use the following as a band name:

    Strange Feeling in Uranus
  14. Joe Gress

    Joe Gress

    Dec 22, 2005
    Pueblo, CO
    So thats who that song is by... :smug:
  15. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    Get with the program. It's only one of the coolest songs ev-ar.

  16. etoncrow

    etoncrow (aka Greg Harman, the curmudgeon with a conundrum)

    aka Gerbil?
  17. sloasdaylight

    sloasdaylight Banned

    Feb 4, 2009
    Tampa, Florida, US
    We're opening up for them, Kylesa, Intronaut, and a bunch of other kick ass bands in March. :hyper::hyper::hyper:

    Ok, back to your regularly scheduled metal thread.
  18. sloasdaylight

    sloasdaylight Banned

    Feb 4, 2009
    Tampa, Florida, US
  19. bongomania

    bongomania Gold Supporting Member Commercial User

    Oct 17, 2005
    PDX, OR
    owner, OVNIFX and OVNILabs
    Wear a Darth Vader costume. I would love to see a metal band fronted by Darth Vader.

    Or, more seriously, just wear black leather boots and pants, with no shirt.
  20. L-A


    Jul 17, 2008
    I don't know, as long as you play metal, you can play metal.

    I've always been in bands where every member had a very distinct background. The current mix is me (funk, R&B and a good dose of prog. rock) with a creatively irrelevant drummer (heavy and trash metal, mainly). We're working with effects and looping to see where this can get. Up to now, it's not El Ten Eleven at all :p

    It's more a matter of interest and curiosity than looks, background and influences.