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I am the biggest idiot ever

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Tash, Oct 24, 2005.

  1. Tash


    Feb 13, 2005
    Bel Air Maryland
    Last night I woke up hungry and decided to have some ice cream. I got up, dished out a bowl, cleaned everything up and returned to bed...

    Apparently I forgot that ice cream does not go in the cabinet over the stove!
  2. FireBug


    Sep 18, 2005
    It's ok, you were half asleep. One time I got up in the middle of the night and saw a dim light emitting from my brothers room which turned out to be his closet light. I go in there to turn it off and for the life of me, I cannot find the switch. I go to the switches by the door and they turn on and off his room light and fan. I go to the sink light switch. The desk switch. I am thinking "what...what happened?? I know there was a switch right here" while I was standing in front of his closet. Finally, I decide to look inside his closet.
    "Maybe they changed it to a pull switch without me knowing..."
    Nope. I come back out of the closet and there staring me in the face is his his light switch. I turn off his closet light, get myself a drink of water, and go back to sleep.

    This is going to turn into a sleepwalking thread. I know it. I am prepared for that too.
  3. I pee'd in my closet once.

    Check and mate.
  4. SuperDuck


    Sep 26, 2000
    My alarm clock went off and I tried to answer my cell phone once. Though that doesn't stack up to peeing in one's own closet.
  5. When I was about 10 or so, I wanted to go to the fridge to get something, but I ended up having to go to the bathroom REALLY bad. So I ran and unzip and noticed something.

    You don't usually pee on the fridge.

    I ran down the hall to the bathroom, with almost the biggest d'oh moment ever.

    Oh, and it was 3 in the afternoon.
  6. Phil Mastro

    Phil Mastro

    Nov 18, 2004
    on a few occasions in the summer I wake up and get ready to go to work, only to realize it's saturday...
    I've also gotten up 2-3 hours earlier than I had to on many occasions cuz my watch was broken and I thought I was late...
  7. retitled


    Feb 13, 2004
    forest hills

    happend to me the other way... my phone was rining and i hot the snoozbutton the the alarm lol after 4 smashes i realzed it was my phone...

    i was really zoned out because my ring tone is 46 & 2 lol
  8. FireBug


    Sep 18, 2005
    KeithBMI you can't top my little brother.

    One day he wakes up, walks into the den, turns on the tv which displays static and becomes very noisy, walks into the kitchen, opens the pantry door and proceeds to whizz all over everything. Ruined a lot of the stuff in there.

    One time I fell out of bed and got my head caught between my bed and my nightstand.
  9. Tash


    Feb 13, 2005
    Bel Air Maryland
    I witnessed the ultimate "going to the bathroom in the wrong place" story at a friends birthday party. Everyone there was really, really drunk. One of the guests, someone we barely new who'd just kind of followed people there, had to use the facilties during the night, however someone else was passed out in the tub and another person was engaged in a deeply contemplative prayer session to the great porcelain god...so he decided to step, or stagger outside.

    The next morning we awoke to hear a lot of mewing and scratching from the porch area. Investigation revealed my friend's cat, very confused and upset, dillengently trying to cover an enourmous human-sized poop in its litter box...

    We never saw or heard from the culprit again.
  10. how dumb was THAT? EVERYONE knows that ice cream goes in the sock drawer! :rolleyes:
  11. retitled


    Feb 13, 2004
    forest hills
    we usuly keep unopened bottles of soda under the sink... one day i pulled a soda out and poured a glass then put the bottle back under the sink.. i came back later and saw that teh bottle wasnt int eh fridge.. i then cursed my brother out for finishing the entire bottle... i then open the drawr and notice the open bottle :p
  12. McHaven


    Mar 1, 2005
    I always try to answer phone calls i hear on my tv when I'm asleep. Sometimes when I get a glass of water at night, I'll open the freezer to get some ice and I'll have to move my water bottle for marching band out of the way. Every time it winds up being discovered on top of the fridge the following morning. During the boring days of summer, my mom has come home from work and I'll just be standing at the fridge, completely zoned out with the door open.
  13. FireBug


    Sep 18, 2005
    I quote this directly from my myspace page.

    inhalation of parmesan

    since my page is pretty dull i figured i'd tell something weird that happened to me the other day. yes, i inhaled some parmesan....accidently ( i don't have some sort of crazy addiction). it was the grated kind, not the shredded kind (that would one hell of a feat). i heated up a piece of pizza and put some parmesan on it. apparently it was too hot...i instinctively inhaled to try to cool it off...not smooth.

    the sad thing is, this isn't the first time it's happened, but it was by far the largest dose of parmesan to ever enter my lungs.

    Do I need to remind you guys of how I ruined last Halloween? I posted it in another thread.
  14. definitely a sleepwalking thread...

    once while sleepwalking, I must have been hungry so I went to the kitchen and fixed myself a sandwich. I woke up just after the first bite...

    ...peanut butter and coffee grounds!!! :eek: ugh. i had to brush my teeth quite a few times to get all of that out.
  15. FireBug


    Sep 18, 2005
    Eww. Was it the taste that woke you up?
  16. not the taste... so much as the texture.
  17. I had a horrible nightmare one time. Woke up and had to go to the bathroom SO bad. I ran to the bathroom, just in time. It felt sOoooooo good to finally pee. I took a deep breath, sighed and closed my eyes for a second from the sheer sense of relief. Opened my eyes... I was still in bed. I dreamed the whole thing. One of those dreams that feels real. I had felt myself peeing.

    Slowly, gripped with terror... I reach under the sheets searching for wetness.......

    WHEW!!!! Everything was dry... But I really DID have to go, wasted no time getting to the bathroom.

  18. retitled


    Feb 13, 2004
    forest hills

    please :)
  19. barebones

    barebones Supporting Member

    Jan 3, 2005
    Denver, CO
    When I was a kid I spent the night over at a friend's house. He was notorious for walking in his sleep. As I lay there staring at the ceiling (I've always been a bit of an insomniac, even as a child) he got up, walked over to his dresser, slid open a drawer...

    ...and peed in it.

    I was so freaked out I never said a word the next day. Truth was, I thought it was pretty funny, but I thought I'd get in trouble if I admitted to witnessing what happened to all his socks but didn't try to stop him.

    Now that I think about it, though, maybe he thinks I peed on his socks. I hadn't thought of that until just now... Maybe he runs around telling a story about this jerk of a little kid who spent the night at his house once and...


  20. mikemulcahy


    Jun 13, 2000
    The Abyss
    I remember after an impossible night in the Er, followed by another 4 hours in the OR and 2 more in post, I hit the couch at home like a sack of crap. My mother and my wife were also inthe livcing room talking as I was in a coma. Suddenly the phone rang, I bolted off the couch, grabbed the camera off the table and took a picture of the television.

    You guys dont make the first cut. :D