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I am wrong for being angry?

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Peace Cee, Jan 13, 2012.

  1. Peace Cee

    Peace Cee

    Feb 9, 2011
    I will be brief. I am in a COVER/originals band that has achieved a modicum of buzz here on Kauai. We have great chemistry. However, our frontman has a few "Rock and Roll Star" (sarcasm) cliche issues. He has a great stage presence and is a good rhythm player. Unfortunately, in the past he was arrested for a DUI and missed a gig. In addition, he once announced that he was moving to California, left, returned (unexpectedly), and wanted to pick up where we left off. We, in his absence, regrouped and began to search for a new singer. Despite some misgivings, we began to play again. I could go on about his escapades. Last night, he didn't show up for a gig. We had to "E Blues progess" through the night with extended solos, audience participation, and other things. He showed up at 11:30; the gig ended at 12:00. We did a 30 minute set with him.

    A little background. The band is comprised of two twenty-somethings who love to play and get free drinks. A tormented thirty- something (the singer), and two guys in their forties (me and the conga guy - I am 40) I am an English teacher, but I may be able to do music for a living soon because of my endeavors as a producer. I have a developed a reputation for professionalism and preparedness as a player. I am very serious. I think of myself as the merely "Bass Player" in this project. At one point we were going to give it a go via my new label, but some lack endurance for such things. I only say these things to illustrate the fact that I am a little more serious than the others.

    Back to last night. He said that he was tired from work, went to take a nap, and slept through his alarm (and phone calls). When he arrived, and we knew that he was alive, the other band members were stoked to see him. They said things like, "Oh it happens" and "Ha Ha this guy over slept. Crazy kid!" We played as if we didn't just go through two hours of improv. madness (which kinda went over well!) No one was upset except for me. Am I overreacting? Should I look at this as just "bar band" follies?
  2. Jazzdogg

    Jazzdogg Less barking, more wagging!

    Jul 29, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    If you're going to sleep with dogs, don't be surprised if you end up with fleas.
  3. in a word - "no". Lose the loser, and Get a better singer
  4. More like starcasm...eh heh heh

    I guess if you have production endeavors going on the obvious question would be, "is this a guy you yourself would sign to your label?"

    Musicians and artists in general are sometimes pretty flaky individuals due to issues that were never dealt with, financial burdens, addiction, etc etc etc. Hell, Van Gogh offed himself and didn't become world renowned as one of the greatest artists of our time until much later! You can search for a new singer, but it is possible you won't find the "great chemistry" you speak of with someone else. On the other hand, you very well could. 50/50, really.

    Bar bands are their own reality show. It's a fact proven true over and over again, all over America.

  5. lfmn16

    lfmn16 Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv
    The first time the dog bites you it's the dog's fault, the second time, it's your fault.

    A leopard doesn't change it's spots

    Don't try to teach a pig to sing. You can't do it and it makes the pig mad.

    Need I go on? You've got a skunk. Live with it or leave.
  6. Factor88


    Jun 21, 2011
    You are not wrong to be upset.

    The troubling thing is it seems like you maybe are the only one who IS.
  7. What's the name of your band? I'm on Kauai too, and may have seen you.
  8. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Yes, youre wrong for being angry. Anger is a reaction to an issue, and not a solution. Calm yourself, and proceed without anger. The answer will be clear.
  9. elgecko


    Apr 30, 2007
    Anasleim, CA
    Missed two GIGS?

    Anger is justified!
  10. I was about to say very Buddha of you, and noticed you're #11

    Agree with that calm approach. Time to move on to a group that has similar values or talk to the star and tell him to come down to earth and be responsible. If he doesn't, then leave. If you're the only one who has a problem with his behaviour, then you already know they'll never make it out of the circuit.
  11. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    I would have fired him or quit after the first missed gig.
    You dont miss a gig with me. If there is something preventing you from making a gig then I must be informed. If I am not informed prior to the gig then Im done.

    I had a good band going with a friend. It was his band really, I was helping out by playing bass even though I was busy with my own project. I got more involved than I originally wanted to, started writing some songs, etc. We had a decent gig booked one night, everyone shows up but my friend who was the singer and guitarist. We played without him, and everyone immediately quit. Where was he? At home tripping on mushrooms with his girlfriend.
  12. bassman314

    bassman314 I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process...

    Mar 13, 2005
    Bay Area, CA
    Kick the guy to the curb and find a new lead singer.

    Can anyone else in the band sing in the interim?
  13. Peace Cee

    Peace Cee

    Feb 9, 2011
    Yes. The problem is, most in the group feel a bit lost without him. I have been lucky enough to play with other talented musicians. This is their "one basket". I appreciate the responses. As one poster stated, the chemistry is hard to find.
    Good advice is really a confirmation of what one already knows. Thanks Team Bassbros.
  14. DrayMiles


    Feb 24, 2007
    East Coast
    +1 on that..

    If they don't care... and you have other outlets .. I'd just do the gig, get paid and keep quiet about the misgivings...

    If anyone knows how you feel, and you show it on your face onstage, you'll definitely be shooting yourself in the foot.

    Just bide your time until YOU want to leave or he leaves.. If you're in the minority anyway..

    Good Luck!
  15. Mirios


    Dec 29, 2010
    Boise, Idaho
    I don't know about the wrong or right about being angry. I do know it sounds like a change is in order to prevent this anger from continuing. At least I would either fire the singer or leave the band if it was me.
  16. bluewine

    bluewine Banned

    Sep 4, 2008
    Wow! I will never take my band for granted. After hearing your story I feel like hugging all my band members.

    And I'm as far from being the touchy feely type as you can get.
  17. You have more patience thus far than I would have had..
  18. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Man, after reading this post, I felt like I was at the zoo!

    I read it like a bat out of hell, and it left me gruff as a bear, and made me go ape, like a bag of cats in a wolf's den.
  19. LiquidMidnight


    Dec 25, 2000
    You forgot the scorpion and the frog story. :D

    I think the answer is clear, to quote the great Vanilla Ice: "Ditch the zero and get with the hero." Nobody is that important; anyone who isn't a songwriter is replaceable.
  20. Scott Weiland Syndrome. Or LSD, take your pick.

    Buh bye!

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