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I apologize

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by drerio, Aug 22, 2012.

  1. drerio


    Aug 8, 2010
    I apologize for my recent rant on TB OT... No excuses. Sure I had a series of bad days that included things personal and things associated with my son. I read something that was obviously not meant to be malicious and I responded inappropriately. I apologize, I am really not that way, i.e., it is totally out of character for me to “go off”. I don’t hold any angst against anyone.

    I would like recommend that if any of you know of anyone who has a child with special needs (friend, family member, etc), volunteer to provide some respite. You would be surprised how much value that would provide to that(those) parent(s). Let them know you will watch the child for a night so the couple can go out on a date night. Maybe even for a weekend so they can get away for a short vacation. And, if any of you have actually done this, my hat is off to you. Thank you.
  2. As a step-parent to a girl with some mild special needs, I get it. Deep breath, man. It'll be okay.
  3. drerio


    Aug 8, 2010
    You are better man than I as a step-parent... that it awesome. You have my deepest respect.
  4. Meh. I'm just a dad. She's REALLY high functioning, but math homework is nearly the end of me. I don't want to sound unappreciative, but I don't personally see it as a big deal, just sort of a part of my life.

    I've worked as a personal care taker of some people with mental problems before, like 50-60 hours a week, and finally had to leave because it was insanely taxing, my schedule was nuts (10am-3pm, 7pm till 7am) 4 days a week or more, and made minimum wage.

    It's insanely hard to be the person to take care of someone who is bad off.
  5. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost Translucently Groovy

    My offer stands drerio. I've been doing this a long time. My son was a very very tough first child experience. Every behavior you can imagine I've been through including the worst of them all to my mind, self injurious behavior (SIB). My mail box is at your disposal.
  6. Nice to hear from you drerio :)
  7. drerio


    Aug 8, 2010
    Thanks for the offer and thanks for understanding and accepting my apology.
  8. Mysterion


    Jan 10, 2012
    I didn't catch the meltdown, but I'm always impressed when a person reflects and apologizes.
  9. drerio


    Aug 8, 2010
    Thanks... the only thing I can say is I don't wish the Public School system on anyone who has to advocate for their special needs child. I mean I have been doing for years, but it is still never easy. I just couldn't take our last meeting with the school.

    Thank you for accepting my apology.
  10. drerio


    Aug 8, 2010
    It was not pretty and not worth reliving. I took out my anger on the wrong people.
  11. CTC564

    CTC564 Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 7, 2011
    Toms River,NJ

    And as the father of a 13 year old son with severe disabilities I tip my hat to you for your efforts in pointing out something that is too often overlooked.

    Unfortunately, my wife and I have VERY little time together and little to no help for respite...
  12. drerio


    Aug 8, 2010
    Too bad we didn't live close, we could tag team. Hang tough... hopefully this thread my provide you with help.

    My hat is off to you for being a great dad.
  13. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost Translucently Groovy

    I recognized the frustration right off. I knew you weren't directing it in a mean way. When you're in that world you start to see only the problems and not the solutions. You and your son will be just fine. It just takes time and a willingness to relearn a lot of what you thought you knew.
  14. GregC

    GregC Johnny and Joe Gold Supporting Member

    Jan 19, 2007
    Props to you for posting about this, but don't sweat it too much. I think everyone reading your posts in that thread understood by the last one that you were just venting. We've all had those kinds of days.

    My girlfriend has worked with special-needs adults for years, so I know it takes a tremendous amount of patience--more than I myself have. Stay strong.:)
  15. drerio


    Aug 8, 2010
    Thanks for understanding.
  16. Funky Ghost

    Funky Ghost Translucently Groovy

    Do they have programs like Alta Regional in NJ? Respite is always tough to get but one source I found was often in the school systems themselves ( mostly private schools but sometimes not ) EA ( educational assistants ) are well trained and underpaid. I used to have 2 or 3 on tap. They simply fill out the form that you send in and they come to your home.
  17. drerio


    Aug 8, 2010
    I know I know, just dig back in there keep my cool continue to care for my son and advocate for him to the nth degree.

    I certainly don't want to somehow demean those of fathers of neurotypical kids. Simply put it is tough to be a parent.
  18. drerio


    Aug 8, 2010
    We used to have respite through the Dept of Health, but like all states, they are strapped for money. I understand... we applied through a non-profit group. Hopefully they will take us on.
  19. This is basically where I'm at. I definitely don't mind helping her with school work, but if she's not getting wholesale concepts (i.e. addition....) there is only so much I can do. I'm trying to help her with coping mechanisms, but she has been treated like she can't do it at school, so she thinks she can't and wants to give up at the first challenge. I spent an hour to finish like 8 semi-algebraic addition problems (what two numbers out of this set of four numbers adds up to eight?) She's obviously missing out somewhere, and it's definitely the school's fault.

    I'm waiting a bit to see if things pick up after the first couple of weeks, so that she's back used to her routine, and the school has time to catch what's going on, but after that, dealing with giant-ginger-neandertal dad isn't going to be fun for the school at all.
  20. No apologies necessary man; you haven't done anything to me. I'm just glad you were able to come out on the other end of the whole fiasco :)

    I won't spend too much time divulging my experiences with autism and with brain damaged family members, because it pales in comparison to yours and other parents of kids with disabilities. I can't pretend to understand how hard it has to be to daily fight these battles with yourself, with your kids, and with society. So my hat is off to you, your fatherliness

    And thank you for your advice on lending a helping hand to parents. It is apt and I will keep in mind to apply it

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