ok, the problem is either me or everybody else. since everyone out numbers me, then i'm the one that is strange. i don't want to be in a relationship. i'm thinking of just having sex with random girls, even older women. since i'm a virgin, that's not the way i want to lose it. on the other hand, i am guy, that's what we do. do i not want a relationship? I've just stop caring. i failed at trying to get with a girl. i put in all my effort. i put her before myself and ultimately lost who i am and what i believe. the reason why all of that happened is because i didn't care for myself, and that is where to start. after all this soul searching, i'm still where i'm started, i don't care about myself. i'm not as bad as i thought, and things are getting better. i suppose i thought that someone else i suppose to care about me, and i would care for that person, but i turns out that is wrong. i should care for myself and take from others, like sex. i like to mention that it's not me with sex on the mind, but everyone else that leads me to believe that my efforts should be in that direction. if you are looking to be in a relationship and the last thing on your mind is sex, than you weird, stupid, and gay. that is why i don't want to be in a relationship, it's apparently not for me. people don't have the same interests as me and even if they do i don't want to be in a relationship with them. i don't want to talk to people. if i talk to them then i am. if they have the same interest as me then we are talking about those interest, not trying to make it something more. i going to stop here, i'm sure their is more. i'll just answer your questions. thanks for reading, sorry if them sentence structure, spelling, and grammar is not to the high standards of the internet. i'm 21, if you don't recall the last post. also, people don't understand when i say i'm confused. first, i've stop caring what people think. second, i don't mean i'm confused sexually. what's right, what's wrong?