I got fed up and quit the band!

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Pedulla-Player, Jul 31, 2021.

  1. Pedulla-Player

    Pedulla-Player Founder of the WI Bassist Club / Bassist for SLAB

    Mar 5, 2009
    I've been with this band on and off for over 20 years. We have broken up at least 5 times now and this last time we got back together was about 2 years. My wife said you know what's going to happen... The band will break up and break your heart again. I do love playing in this band because we hardly ever practice because we gigged most weekends and we play fun crowd pleasing songs. About 6 weeks ago the singer/guitarist and I had a feeling that something was up with the drummer so we discussed what we would do if he quit. The singer said that we would definitely find a new drummer and keep going. Two days later the drummer sends us a message in group text that he is having surgery this fall and he was going to retire from drumming. I sent a private message to the singer confirming that we were still going to find another drummer and continue with the band. I get a reply that he needs to think about it and he'd let me know. Really - two days later and he totally changed his answer?! A week or so later he told me that we would find another drummer and continue. The following week he was unsure again, but said if we did keep on going he didn't want to play as much as we were playing. I love gigging and want to gig at least 2 to 4 times a month. In the mean time the drummer said depending on how his surgery went he 'may' want to keep playing. The last gig that we played was on July 3rd and it was a pretty big gig for us because we opened up for a Tom Petty tribute band called 'Free Fallin' who is a national act. We only had a couple gigs in the books when the drummer announced his retirement, so with the uncertainty of the bands future we didn't book any more gigs. Also no effort was made to find a fill-in / replacement drummer so we could keep on gigging. Our last three gigs were tonight, August 14th and September 11th. So yesterday the drummer messages the band and says he can't play tonight because he had to work 12 hours this morning/afternoon and won't be able to make it to the gig in time. So we have to give the bar a one day notice that we have to cancel the gig. I am totally bummed because I've been looking forward to this gig because we haven't played since July 3rd. I also felt terrible for the bar because we had to cancel on such short notice and they were advertising us. The drummer did the same thing to us 2 months ago, but that time he gave us a couple days notice so we were able to scramble and find a fill in drummer that plays in another local band (luckily he had off that day). Our drummer said he put his foot down at work and said it wouldn't happen again - until this weekend I guess. You would think that he would have known a few days in advance that he had to work today. Another thing that really bothered me was that we played a new establishment (for us) twice - once this spring and once this summer. The bar is about 1 1/2 hours away and unfortunately we had fairly small crowds for both gigs. However, the bar owner didn't mind and said that there was a lot going on in the area for both gigs, and the people that were there really liked us. The bar owner loved our music and actually threw us extra money to give us incentive to come back. I accept the fact that not every gig is going to be packed with the dance floor full. I had fun playing at the place and wanted to keep playing there, but the other guys said they didn't want to play there anymore because we didn't have good crowds. So with the uncertainty with the bands future, the band not wanting to play as much as I'd like to play, the way they treated the bar that threw us extra money to come back and the short notice cancellation of tonight's gig - I sent them a message that I am retiring from the band and am looking for a new band with like-minded individuals, but would play the last two remaining gigs in the book. Well apparently the drummer decided he's not going to retire because they posted on their band page that they are not booking until they find a replacement bassist and nothing about the drummer. Well, they weren't booking anyways, so don't put the blame on me. It also sounds like they are going to cancel the last two remaining gigs. They know that I love to play out and that they were holding me back from what I love to do, so what did they expect?? It figures that they would make me look like the bad guy. Sorry for such a long-winded story and thanks for those of you who took the time to read it. I needed to vent! Here is a video of us playing 'Copperhead Road' from our last gig on the 3rd of July opening up for Free Fallin'. Unfortunately it was taken by our drummers wife and she found a little boy spinning around in front of us more interesting than the band. For you purists out there I realize that I am not playing the original bass line to the song. Since we are three piece I try to fill the empty space with my bass. Also, thanks for checking out the video! :) In case any of you are wondering - I am playing an Ibanez SR2600 through an Aguilar AG700 with SL410x and SL210 cabs.
    Copperhead2 - Copperhead Road - Northwoods Inn, WI (7-3-21) - YouTube
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2021
    BassikBrad, DWBass, KeithPas and 9 others like this.
  2. 2112

    2112 Supporting Member

    Apr 30, 2005
    Given the history, you'll go back before long. Some bands are just kinda funny like that lol.
    ruju, J_Bass, CletusMarley and 4 others like this.
  3. Pedulla-Player

    Pedulla-Player Founder of the WI Bassist Club / Bassist for SLAB

    Mar 5, 2009
    Thanks for your reply. I actually told them when they were uncertain about whether to keep the band together or not that this is absolutely my last stint with the band, so they better be sure that they want to wrap things up. I also told them not to call me when they get the itch to start the band back up in a year or two. I'm officially done.
    kentiki, smogg, Milo Spleen and 3 others like this.
  4. Last Rebel

    Last Rebel Lone Wolf - No Club Supporting Member

    Mar 11, 2011
    Ontario Canada
    Good job
    smogg, RocknRay and Pedulla-Player like this.
  5. Goatrope


    Nov 18, 2011
    Sarasota Florida
    You’ll find another band, or maybe another version of this one. It happens.

    By the way, I watched the YouTube and found your playing very the part I think you should be playing in a 3 piece, and I enjoyed it quite a bit. Without your part, and the way you played it, it would have been quite dull and empty for me, so, awesome job, man!

    I’m also in a 3 piece and try to add what the arrangement needs to sound more full and interesting.
    Dubious Aa, bassb66, JRA and 4 others like this.
  6. crguti


    Feb 14, 2011
  7. Pedulla-Player

    Pedulla-Player Founder of the WI Bassist Club / Bassist for SLAB

    Mar 5, 2009
    Last Rebel - Thanks for watching and thanks for the compliment! :) I really appreciate it!

    Goatrope - Thank you for watching the video! I am honored and humbled by your compliment. :) To hear something like that from another bassist :bassist: means the world me. I can't thank you enough..:D

    crguti - Thanks for watching the video. The kid seems just weird enough to be a future bassist. :roflmao: lol... Just kidding!! All kidding aside - Hopefully we inspired him to want to play an instrument.

    You can't tell by the video, but there were about 500 people (besides the kid) to see the band Free Fallin'. We warmed the crowd up for them quite nicely as we had them clapping and cheering after nearly every song that we played.

    The only other video from that gig is 'Have You Ever Seen The Rain', but it's not on my Youtube channel. It was shared by the drummer's wife on my former bands facebook page. Just hit the play button and click on the video to enlarge and hear it. Thanks again to any of you who take the time to check it out. :) Facebook
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2021
    Bass Jones and Goatrope like this.
  8. pcake

    pcake Supporting Member

    Sep 20, 2011
    Los Angeleez
    not a great recording, but you guys did a great job, and i think the bass part did wonders to make the song sound complete. i can see why you'd want to play with these guys, but so much drama and poor communication never makes a long term experience fun in my experience.
  9. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Paragraphs are friends.
    ELG60, Spectrum, RichSnyder and 36 others like this.
  10. Nev375


    Nov 2, 2010
    I'd love to read this post. I tried, but I quickly drowned in the sea of words.
    ELG60, Spectrum, RichSnyder and 13 others like this.
  11. IanStephenson

    IanStephenson UnRegistered User

    Apr 8, 2006
    It was a 3 piece without a drummer... you didn't leave - you fired the guitarist!
  12. 3Liter


    Feb 26, 2015

    Sometimes it's the note you don't play.... :)

    OP, I'd have quit a.long time ago if that's the guitar players usual attire. :)

    All kidding aside, it been a long haul, I can see why you are bummed.
  13. lfmn16

    lfmn16 Inactive

    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv
    Too much drama.
  14. I find bands are like streetcars....there is always another one coming.
  15. They also got fed up and quit the band.
  16. I Like the bass sound too. As to your dilemma, If it ain't fun, don't do it. It sounds like it's more stress than fun at the moment, so, yeah, find another sandpit to play in.
    SoCal80s, Pedulla-Player and RocknRay like this.
  17. 40Hz

    40Hz Supporting Member

    May 24, 2006
    My thought too while reading. The whole band dynamic sounds like a textbook example of codependency.

    I must be getting crabby now that I’m entering into my dotage. ;):)
    DirtDog, lfmn16, LBS-bass and 2 others like this.
  18. dan1952

    dan1952 Commercial User

    Jun 27, 2012
    Anderson IN
    Artist Endorsement with Supro Huntington Basses / Owner, Dan's Music, Inc..
    A lot of drama. BTW, very nice playing, perfect for a 3 piece version of the song!
    Pedulla-Player and RocknRay like this.
  19. Amateur shrink time—you didn’t talk with the drummer right away when you sensed something was up. Then the singer became the go-between and mixed messages happened. Communication isn’t right. Trios can be unstable. Ask Eric Clapton
    Geri O and Pedulla-Player like this.
  20. Your band sounds/sounded good on stage!
    Pedulla-Player likes this.