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i have been offered to be in a band!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by Bassist_Ben, Aug 21, 2005.

  1. Hey,
    i been offered to be in a rock band should i? But i don't like the lead guitarist..he's a cutie (excuse the language).

    Need Help Thanks,
    From Ben
  2. well, if you don't get along with the guitar player, why join?
  3. but i have no where else to go lol!
    thanks for repplyin:D
  4. Kelly Lee

    Kelly Lee Yeah, I'm a guy! Supporting Member

    Feb 17, 2004
    Marana, AZ, USA
    Well, you haven't given much info about the situation. So, ask yourself this...

    Are they good musicains that would help you grow? If so, it could still be rewarding despite an Ahole guitarist.

    Where do you live? (fill out your profile!) If you lived in L.A. I would say forget them but if you live in a tiny town you might have to take it.

    Do they currently play shows where you might get some exposure to other bands/musicians? Exposure always help to find other musicians/bands.

    Is it the kind of music you like? Even if it's not you might be able to learn something from it or evn learn that you do like it.

    Do you just think the guitarist is a jerk or isn't maybe you really don't know him that well? Get to know them a little better if you don't already. You and the band go out for pizza and hang out. You might find the guitarist isn't such a bad guy after all.

    If he is a jerk, do you think you could make it work without killing him? :D Thats something only you can decide. Who knows, maybe they like you and boot him in a couple of weeks! :p

    These are just a few of the questions you need to ask yourself and make the best decision you can. I wish I could be more helpful but unfortunately it's a decision you have to make.

    I have one rule I follow and that is if I can't stand to hang out or to atleast have a real conversation with them, I move on. If I can't stand to be around someone, I'm really not going to like working with them!
  5. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Thank them kindly for the offer, and decline. Chemistry plays a big part in a band.

    For me, it has always been about being friends first, musicians second. I'd rather play with my buddies who are pretty good, than a few guys that are awesome, but who I don't like so well.

  6. sloppysubs


    Nov 24, 2002
    Swansboro, NC
    a universal truth to band conflict, or at least it seems this way. conflict = great stuff, it also = the end of your carreer with that band rather quickly.

    MJ has a point, doin it as buddies really helps, and there is always room for good, conflict free material.
  7. Boplicity

    Boplicity Supporting Member

    By all means join the band and make the best of it. Use it to get experience and to get noticed through gigs so that perhaps a more congenial band will invite you to join. Then you can move on having gained valuable experience in the mean time.

    I don't know what you mean when you say the guitar player is a "cutie." Maybe I can guess. For me the more important issue would be is the guitarist capable, competent, co-operative,talented, motivated, a good leader, dedicated, creative, etc.

    I've been in bands with some extremely difficult musicians. I asked myself would I learn more as a bass player by not being in the band or by being in the band? Being in the band trumps sitting at home every time. Otherwise, why play bass guitar?
  8. FriscoBassAce


    Dec 29, 2004
    Frisco, Texas
    Independent Manufacturers Representative
    +1 on the contacts aspect of it. If you join a band, any band, you're going to get contacts out of the deal. If you rehearse in an actual rehearsal studio, then you will get even more. Rock with them for a while, see what comes of it. Maybe the guy's not such an ahole once you get to know him better.
  9. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    This is what I like about this forum, and how I have learned so much. We all see things from different angles. Excellent points Bop.

    You see, I would rather sit home than go to a band practice with some guys/gals I do not like. This is probably a result of the reason I took up an instrument in the first place.....to hang out with my buddies. I had no driving desire to speak to the world through an instrument or music. I just wanted to hang out a little more with some of my best friends. If all of my friends abandoned their instruments tomorrow, and I could not find anyone I liked to play with, I'd give it up too.

  10. I played w/ best friends for years, but because of transportation issues we havent played for months. I'd say if they're good musicians and the music isn't too far from your personal taste, go for it and you might end up liking them after all.

    What kind of insult is "cutie?"
  11. RobertUI

    RobertUI Thumper Supporting Member

    Apr 7, 2005
    Herndon, VA - NoVa
    Everyone here has offered some great insight. I'll throw mine in too. You really have to decide what is it you're trying to get out of this band.

    For me, I left a band that I had with some of my best friends so that I could play with total strangers who were already gigging, just so that I could play out. I personally wasn't interested in just trying to stay in and jam (esp. since it was all covers that we were working on).

    The other thing that I suggest is just playing with them. I've played with some people who weren't all that cool to hang out with, but we made great music together. You will certainly grow from the experience, even if it's short lived... that's my $0.02

  12. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA

    That was a mod edit. I kinda wish Blackbird would have changed it to something like "jerk." Instead of making Ben look bad... not cool.
  13. Ed Fuqua

    Ed Fuqua

    Dec 13, 1999
    Chuck Sher publishes my book, WALKING BASSICS:The Fundamentals of Jazz Bass Playing.

    I've been offering to be a millionaire for quite awhile, but so far no takers...
  14. lefty


    Sep 25, 2004
    how was ben made to look bad and not cool? (i`m missing something?)
  15. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA

    Ben original used a curse word to describe the guitarist. The mod edited the post and changed it to calling him a "cutie." Making the thread not make any sense.
  16. jiant.


    Jul 3, 2004
    Fort Mill, SC
    I agree with this whole-heartedly. For my friends and I we said that we would quit playing when it was either impossible or just not fun. It never quit being fun, but it did become impossible in the middle of this summer. We're still all extremely close friends, if not pretty much brothers. Whenever I think of how much I want to be able to tour with a band, I always think of how amazing it will be to be spending that much time with friends.
  17. Boplicity

    Boplicity Supporting Member

    I'm glad we cleared that up. I actually took "cutie" to mean...well, gay. And I couldn't imagine why one would not play in a band just because the guitarist is gay.

    I still stand by my guns. Even IF the guitarist is a total mega-jerk, give the band a try unless you find intimidation too stressful. I learned the MOST from being in a band with a guitarist who was so totally one of the most unlikeable people I have ever known.

    After two years, I finally had to call it quits with this scum, but he taught me more about being a metal bassist than anyone else ever did and I will always owe him for that. The two years were stormy, but worth every minute.