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I just got an email, a month after our 2nd gig.....

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by capnsandwich, Oct 16, 2009.

  1. .....and they want me to start practicing with them again. That's not really all that weird except for the fact I haven't heard anything from them since that last gig. We're supposed to play next weekend in a town about 2 hours away but I didn't even know I was still in the band, let alone if there still was a band. Now they email me like nothing ever happened and are even thinking about doing a cruise ship gig. I was in this band 1 month. In that time I played 2 gigs and recorded a quick demo with them for promotional purposes that can be heard here on their myspace page.

    I just don't know about a band with such a lack of unity and communication yet so many cool opportunities. Like the last gig we did, it was in front of about 3000 college kids at a festival that headlined Switchfoot and Big Daddy Weave (a contemporary Christian band.) I'm in 2 other non-Christian projects and both have some serious potential, IMO at least, but neither have gigged yet. Both are still studio gigs for now. I love gigging but I also love communication.

    Sorry for the rant but I'd like some insight and some opinions on this if I may. I know I'm not the only bassist in a flaky band.
  2. jellymax

    jellymax Don't fry any wooden fish Supporting Member

    Nov 29, 2006
    SF CA
    during this time, did you call them?
  3. ^ This, also did you not speak with them since because you felt that the last time you saw them, you parted on less than excellent terms?
  4. nastyn8c


    Feb 7, 2005
    Tampa, FL
    As a Christian, you're commanded in Matthew 18:15 to go first to your brothers in love.

    Let them know how you feel first, then try to gauge what to do with the situation. I know it gets hard - trust me, I've been in some really messed up Christian music situations - but above fleshing out our God-given talents, we're called to be Christ-like. Maybe you guys are being called to do something great, but this lack of communication is holding you back. It seems you recognize that.

    Finally, a quote from Ghandi: "Be the change you wish to see in this world." You know the way things are is not the way they should be, so step up and change the situation. Victim statements get us nowhere. Only you have the power to make the necessary changes.

    God bless,
  5. I tried 1 time and left a voice mail. I never received a call back and waited about a week. After that I was getting busier with the other 2 bands and thought that either they broke up or got another bassist. I told the band leader that I was going to get busy with the other 2 projects and a cd that I was going to co-produce with a guy that owns a studio. I kind of figured that he was a little upset that I put them first so maybe he didn't want to call me back but he never let me know that he was upset. This was just my thought of why he didn't get back with me.

    No, not at all. In fact, he loved my playing and often told me he was glad to have found me. The last time I saw the band leader, he was talking to his wife at the festival. I had to skip out after the gig so I could go home and watch my 2 kids since my wife had to go out that evening. I didn't think he was upset for that reason, just maybe the fact that I couldn't dedicate myself 100% to their project.
  6. Good advice. I will definitely have a talk with the group when I do actually meet with them. He emailed me a couple of possible days we may practice but nothing is solid yet.
  7. ^ Seems pretty clear to me. They gave you the cold shoulder because they were not #1.
    I am willing to bet they even tried to find a more devoted bassist, and having failed, decided to contact you like nothing happened, looking for you to rescue them on this upcoming gig.

    amazing how convenient communicating with you became when they needed your help.

    Christians you say?
    Not likely I say.
  8. The funny thing about it is that when he first contacted me, I told him that I was already in 2 bands and that I was also playing in my church, in which I'm taking a break from at the moment. As far as the band being true Christians, I can vouch for the band leader. He really seems on fire. The other guys, well....I can see your point. Which ones decided to give me the cold shoulder? I can't say who actually came up with that but the band leader was always glad that I was aboard with him.
  9. David1234


    Jun 1, 2004
    Sydney, Australia
    Endorsing Artist: SWR Amplifiers
    Since when does doing a poor job of teamwork mean they're not christian? I think they're just not very pro. Honest *open* communication doesn't come naturally to some people.

    I vote for open minds. Hopefully Mr Sandwich can find a gracious way to encourage this crew to communicate better and enjoy what he can offer them.
  10. David1234


    Jun 1, 2004
    Sydney, Australia
    Endorsing Artist: SWR Amplifiers
    I wouldn't even assume it's a cold shoulder.

    "Never attribute to malice what can be attributed to ignorance" ... I wish that was from Proverbs but I'm pretty sure it's not. Still, if you're in the forgiveness business then this cute phrase can save a lot of heartache.
  11. While I agree with parts of both points here, let's try to keep the "religious" discussion out of this, thus keeping this thread open for more opinions toward the actual dilemma and not closed due to theological debating. Thanks for both opinions BTW.
  12. well as I stated IMO, they got their little feelings hurt because they were not # 1 in YOUR life, as they thought they deserved to be. So some, or all decided to give you the cold shoulder. All of this time they did not extend a Christian brotherly hand towards you, UNTIL they needed you. Now all of a sudden it's like " whaddya mean brother? of course we are still a band brother. You are our main apple scrapple brother. Can you play this gig brother?"

    If this leader is so on fire for the Lord, then where has he been for 2 months?
    If he let the other clown prevent him from contacting you/staying in touch with you, then he ain't much of a leader.
    If he is a leader, and on fire like you say, then he SHOULD realize that GOD comes first, then family, then your job/prior commitments. He and his band are way down the list in your life and priorities.
    If he can not see this, he is a charlatan, and an hypocrite.
  13. Very true, yet I don't want to go into this next practice with a chip on my shoulder UNTIL I know that's exactly what happened. He could just be another flaky musician.
  14. HMMM could be. Keep me posted.
    p.m. if you like.
  15. Definitely will do. The whole thing is just really weird IMO. Now that I'm going over this in my mind, which is playing with fire knowing the way I think, the more I'm believing your "cold shoulder/last resort" theory. I'm still going to this next rehearsal/meeting with an open mind, however.
  16. Best wishes my friend.
    May the Lord go with you, and stay with me.
    Because He can.
  17. How often do they play? Have they been playing all that time? Or did they just have a gig come up at the last minute?

    How did they act before the early gigs? Lots of communication, or just when they wanted to practice? Once you know the material, no need to practice the same stuff unless there's a problem.

    Sounds like you enjoyed it. Don't mess it up with assumptions.

    If you're curious, bring it up in a joking way... "I thought I was fired when I didn't hear anything for so long!" See what they say. Do they look away with a guilty expression, or do they laugh, and say no way, we really liked what you did. We just didn't have anything coming up in the near future, we all have kids, family stuff too, wife must have erased your msg and forgot to tell me about it, I didn't know you called."

  18. They acted cool, at least to my face. The band leader raved about me, even on stage when he was introducing the band. The drummer was cool to me too. The other guitarist was always looking at my fingers when I played with kind of an envious look but never voiced anything envious.

    As far as gigs, the only one I knew of at the time was the one coming up next weekend. As far as practicing, the band was only together for a month before I joined so to say we have the material down, no way!!! We need all the practice we can get. Just listen to the songs on the myspace page. No offense to the other guys, they did their part decently enough for the demo, but there's LOTS of room for improvement, even on my part.
  19. Papazita


    Jun 27, 2008
    Sonfest @ MVNU, perhaps?
  20. Why yes, that's the one. Did you make it there?

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