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I might just turn evil for a short time

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by L-A, Apr 23, 2010.

  1. L-A


    Jul 17, 2008
    The next time I receive a call for my ever-absent roommate asking to talk to her about her ever-pending debts, I'll just invite them to come over and grab some furniture. Calling is useless. They know about this last statement. My other, responsible roommate said it word for word.


    It might be more satisfactory to just go with an evil prank, since one way or another she's going away in July (pity her new roommate). I'm turning on TB for realistic or fun and unrealistic inspiration.

    For the sake of creativity, here is a short list of some things that are available around the apartment:

    - Various household cleaning tools
    - A tree that scarily rubs against the wall on strong winds
    - A cat (hers)
    - A 4" diameter slow cooker
    - A rat
    - Spare doors (tiny ones and full-size ones)
    - Instruments and amplification
    - A spare computer
    - Art created from porn movie stills
    - Large metal bowls
    - The cat's litter box
    - A foul-smelling fruit bowl (hers)

    Additional notes: no one ever knew what to do with the 4" crock-pot. Also, the rat is tiny, obese, and not afraid of the cat. It sneezes. Instruments include a Roland SC155 that will play "Mr. Wizard" by itself on command.
  2. Subscribed- I'll scour my memories for evil prank fodder.
  3. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    Tell them you'll buy her debts for 0.10 on the dollar. It's the best chance they have of recouping any of the money she owes them. Once you have secured her debt in the form of IOU's, you have the option of turning her out and making her turn tricks until the whole sum is paid off (Not what you paid, but 100% of what she owes.) Or you can sell the debt to some hard pipe hitting ******* that will go to work on her with a pair of pliers and a blow torch.........

    Yeah...... Subscribed.
  4. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    Paging Mr. Jive! Paging Mr. Jive!
  5. UncleFluffy


    Mar 8, 2009
    Head Tinkerer, The Flufflab
    Tell them (on her behalf) that you require any further communication relating to this debt to take place in writing.
  6. BassyBill

    BassyBill The smooth moderator... Gold Supporting Member

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Midlands UK
    The cat isn't hers. It's yours now.
  7. jive1

    jive1 Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    Off the top of my head.........

    -Take the rotten fruit bowl and hide in something of hers like luggage or a decorative box or whatever. Something that seals up that she'll take to her new digs. It'll give the fruit some extra rot while containing the stench. When she opens it up - whammo!

    -Take all her stuff and hide it somewhere, including the cat. Tell her that the debt collectors came and took all her stuff. Make a business card with a phone number that is disconnected, and an address that is at least an hour away. Tell her that the debt collectors need to see her in person if she wants to get her stuff back.

    -Write on the cat's belly "Please call 1-800-555-5555 in regards to your debt".

    -Send the porno art to various libraries, churches, etc. as donations in her name. Make sure to leave her contact information so they can send "thank you" notes.

    -Take small amounts of kitty litter, and put it in her socks, nylons and shoes. Just put enough to be uncomfortable when walking, but hard to see.
  8. EricF

    EricF Habitual User

    Sep 26, 2005
    Pasadena, CA
    Mr. Jive - You, sir, are a genius.
  9. Smurf-o-Deth

    Smurf-o-Deth ¡No me gustan mis pantalones!

    Oct 2, 2007
    The state of denial.
    Being evil has its perks: we have the good albums, and get to do the weird stuff in bed.

    Also, I suggest you make her a poop candle. Women love candles, but no one wants to smell a feculent bouquet. Or, if she has her own bathroom, a classic Upper Decker can work in a pinch (ba dum bum).
  10. L-A


    Jul 17, 2008
    Technically, it's hers. In terms of obedience, it's definitely mine. I thought about training it along with the rat to team-attack women's crotches, and then let them loose in her locked room. Alas, my other roommate is also a girl. And she doesn't deserve training-induced rabid attacks to her nether regions.

    Jive, the porno art donations sound like an excellent idea. Especially considering there's ten churches within a kilometre, and we're in a religious neighborhood.

    Also, I have found a potential use for the slow-cooker. I might take some water, some flour and a bit of scraping from the fruit bowl, and keep them warm over a long time. I'll then pour a bit of barf-mix on the plates and bowls she leaves in her room instead of washing.
  11. if you haven't pooped in the crock pot and turned it on under her bed, you're doing it wrong.
  12. also, while she's sleeping, use one of the doors, and nail it to the outside of her door, so she can't escape, and demand repayment.
  13. L-A


    Jul 17, 2008
    I guess you guys deserve an update:

    • The porno art donations sparked no response, so I don't know about a possible outrage.
    • The slow cooker slow cooked the "fruits" in her "fruit bowl". The resulting mixture made some surprise appearances on the leftover dishes in her room. Between roommates, we competed for creative hiding spots. A glass coffee cup on the radiator proved to be particularly effective (not my idea).
    • The cat spent the last month religiously scratching her furniture, and hers only. This took very little training.
    • Of his own initiative, he started pooing in her room when she didn't clean the litter box, which she didn't do in the last month either.

    She's off to her new place now. Overall, this has been much fun and success, especially with the unexpected collaboration of the cat. :p
  14. Keep the cat. Minions are hard to find, and you've nabbed your self a good one in that particular feline.
  15. Lazylion

    Lazylion Goin ahead on wit my bad self!

    Jan 25, 2006
    Frederick MD USA
    I think a Mwa-hahahahahahaaa is in order right here! :D
  16. L-A


    Jul 17, 2008
    Moreso, it's a black cat.
  17. Eeeexcelent. *drums fingertips together*

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