I Must Leave, GAS Is Destroying My Life

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by jdh3000, Oct 21, 2022.

  1. jdh3000


    May 16, 2016
    Let me preface this by saying that there I don't believe there is anything wrong with purchasing something, getting something you need or want if you have the means AND have some sort of self control.

    Unfortunately the later has failed me and has gotten into my personal life.

    I'm not criticizing anyone, just myself for letting it get out of control.
    I got to the point of hiding it from my wife and running up a credit card bill, and socking money away only to blow it on gear I don't really need... at a time when we need the money.
    I don't recommend this.

    Anyway, I've enjoyed my time here, and would love to hang out and read and comment on other things, but as soon as I see something, I start wanting it, and start scheming on how to get it.

    I have come to realize that I have a serious addiction, and it's obviously not right if I'm hiding it from my family and hurting them.

    So just like an alcoholic, I've joined a support group and cannot hang out in an environment where I'm tempted to buy. I'll stay out of music stores and offline stores.
    Again, not putting you all down, you probably have a grip on this, I do not.

    Part of the steps I must take is to cut ties with anyone or anything that can cause me to want to spend and relapse.

    Maybe one day I can return with a strong enough will to talk about stuff without wanting more stuff. I'd love to talk about gig related things but if I see a new amp day or new bass day, or a pedal, I'll have to open and read it.

    I'm going to just use what I have, repair it if necessary, and if any equipment must be replaced, and only essential gear. I will discuss it with my family and make absolutely sure it's a need, not a want.

    I thank everyone for all your help here and I wish you all the best.

    Peace and Love!
  2. Oddly


    Jan 17, 2014
    Dublin, Ireland.
    Acknowledging the problem is a vital first step on the road to recovery. Wishing you all the best.
  3. If you still make music, you'll do ok I think. You'll identify more with what you have, and it will replace the addiction. I have found, with addictions, that the supposedly most addictive things may not be the hardest ones to beat, but what they all have in common is a need to replace them. If you already have some strong idea of how you're going to move on, you're likely to make it, and fairly quickly, but then the trick is not to revert later when you feel safe. I found them to be like throwing a switch, and walking away for long enough that going near it again didn't motivate me to switch it back. Any such urge, I'd walk away again and give it a bit more time doing something else I could relate to more. Best of all is being able to forget the 'switch' is there, for long enough to feel free of any urges to do anything with it, then it stays put. I never lapsed more than once or twice on any, because I didn't want to have to blame anyone for not solving what I alone could solve, and because if I was getting any help, I didn't want to waste it.

    One thing extra.. I found that sometimes an addiction needs distancing from, but sometimes it works better solving it without distancing at all, because that way can sometimes break its hold even better, because there is little risk that going back to the territory can restart the addiction if you're still in the territory. This can be tough but it can reduce a fear of failure.

    One thing I quit was socialising via internet. I spent years alone, coding synthesiser software. TalkBass records that I was absent for twelve years! One reason I came back was that TB was stable, and works more like what I liked before. I'm lucky in a way, nearly immune to GAS, but that's because I found good and cheap ways to get the sound I wanted, and playing the basses that can do it (same type, one is backup for the other) worked so well for me that there is no urge to replace or add to it. Knowing I could learn to make it work better just by doing things that didn't cost more than picks and strings do, really helped.
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2022
  4. marchone

    marchone Since 1951

    Nov 30, 2009
    TalkBass is an enabler. I had to put the parking brake on till next May 2023.
  5. jdh3000


    May 16, 2016
    Thank y'all so much! I'm going to read this thread today and then delete my shortcut. I don't want to completely delete my account because I want to come back. There is so much good information on here, just right now I will slip and look at other things...I can't seem to help it.

    I've really enjoyed coming here..
    Thanks again!
  6. Jeremy Crockett

    Jeremy Crockett Amiable Crank

    God bless and keep you during your struggle. I wish you nothing but the best.
    FeltTipPen, murphy, Speterc and 6 others like this.
  7. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    GAS can be addictive. Good on you for recognizing it and taking steps to get away. Just like it's unwise for an alcoholic to hang out in bars - getting away from an environment full of temptations is a good step.
    Wishing you the best.
    FeltTipPen, murphy, 31HZ and 5 others like this.
  8. tpaul

    tpaul Supporting Member

    Mar 19, 2011
    Good call, sounds like you're doing the right thing. Family comes first.
    murphy, Speterc, Lee Moses and 4 others like this.
  9. RichSnyder

    RichSnyder Columbia, MD Supporting Member

    Jun 19, 2003
    Good luck! Totally understand. There have been a few people that I've wanted to say, "Dude, you okay?"
    AEDW, _Obra_, GregC and 3 others like this.
  10. dbsfgyd1


    Jun 11, 2012
    Mascoutah, IL
    Best wishes.
    murphy and jdh3000 like this.
  11. Rayjay

    Rayjay If that’s even my real name..

    Sep 27, 2014
    Lahaina, Maui, HI
    There are 3 things I've heard that help me, so I'd like to share.

    1) Contentment is when you are able to look back and remember getting exactly what you want has historically not brought you much happiness, or it was fleeting.

    2) Think of gear as a business investment, and don't invest in things you aren't certain you'll make your money back on.

    3) There is nothing better than the feeling of getting desired results with gear you already own! :thumbsup:
  12. tb4sbp


    May 9, 2017
    North East
    Best of luck to you
    Peace Out!
    murphy and jdh3000 like this.
  13. LBS-bass

    LBS-bass Guest

    Nov 22, 2017
    Selling gear is, of course, the real reason sites like this exist. Good on you for recognizing that it's a problem for you and taking steps to change things. Wishing you well!
    The_Meatwagon, jdh3000 and Spidey2112 like this.
  14. MDStingray


    Nov 5, 2012
    If that was a criterion to quit Talkbass, Talkbass would cease to exist.

    Take care!
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2022
  15. tmvt


    Feb 9, 2022
    You fell into the classic Talkbass trap. Getting GAS and not using the info here to get better at bass.
  16. Hambone70

    Hambone70 Guest

    Jan 31, 2018
    I thought GAS was only a joke that TBers bandied around until I read this.

    Well done recognizing the problem and taking steps to correct it. Best of luck to you!
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2022
    murphy and jdh3000 like this.
  17. lermgalieu

    lermgalieu Supporting Member

    Apr 27, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Good job for taking a difficult step. I get it. I'm still in denial.
  18. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2020
    Austin, TX
    Be honest before you go.

    Have you seen the special edition Red Witch released today?
  19. I knew a guy, a long-time TalkBasser, who drove himself into bankruptcy, at least once, largely on incessant bass flipping and trading. He always lost because when the switch in his head flipped, every two or three weeks, he absolutely had to have a different bass, and he would make stupid deals just because he needed it now.

    Sick as ****. He borrowed money from his parents, who couldn't afford it, and never paid them back. He would go nuts because someone on TB said 18 mm. spacing was more comfortable for him than 19 mm. spacing, and flip his bass at a big loss. He lived in the classifieds. He put his family at risk, he put his children at risk, all over neck profiles and, believe it or not, posts on TalkBass!

    I tried to talk to him about it many times, but he would come unglued at any suggestion that he was not doing exactly what he should be doing. I can recognize neuroses, and I tried to help but eventually he stopped communicating with me. No loss for me. I hope he found the right mental health professional because he was bound to do it again.

    Hobbies can be expensive, but the overwhelming majority of folks manage just fine. The ones that don't can get in real trouble, in a hurry. Just over stupid basses!

    Remember the part about putting his wife and children at risk, it is not an exaggeration.
  20. ArteK

    ArteK Supporting Member

    As the other thread on "how many basses do you have?" indicates, lots of us have gone back and forth on this problem.

    Good luck on beating this. The push-button, PayPal/credit card economy certainly makes it way too easy to spend money, and hard to resist.

    But it's not worth losing the people you love. I truly hope this works out for you. I'm guessing getting away from the "triggers" like TB, Reverb, eBay, Amazon, etc. will be a huge help down that road.

    -- Arte K.
    murphy, 31HZ and jdh3000 like this.