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I need people who are good at grammar stuff

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by KSDbass, Oct 30, 2005.


  1. KSDbass

    KSDbass

    Mar 25, 2005
    atlanta
    ok, so I wrote a paper, and I need someone to make sure it's grammar-iffic before I turn it in.
     
  2. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    Ouch.

    just ouch.

    from what i saw with my scan, you are comma happy.
     
  3. Figjam

    Figjam

    Aug 5, 2003
    Boston, MA
    I got that vibe too.

    We were bored, so we decided to play Smells Like Teen Spirit, as loudly as we could.



    You dont need the comma after Spirit, if you really speak like that


    we were bored so we decided to play smells like teen spirit as loudly as we could.

    with approprioate pauises, then put in the commas.But normal people dont.
     
  4. NJL

    NJL

    Apr 12, 2002
    San Antonio
    Blackbird seems to be the grammar expert here, PM him.
     
  5. This is going to be turned in to some sort of teacher? For what class?

    I think you'd get a better grade if you turned in a blank piece of paper. :p

    Just kidding.
     
  6. Figjam

    Figjam

    Aug 5, 2003
    Boston, MA
    After reading it more, you need to review quotation punctuation rules.
     
  7. Run, sentence. Run on and be free from punctuation. Run on!!
     
  8. KSDbass

    KSDbass

    Mar 25, 2005
    atlanta
    oddly enough, I do talk like that. Ever since I saw the best of Will Ferrel volume 2, celebrity jeopardy, I put pauses everywhere.
     
  9. AuG

    AuG

    May 22, 2005
    Fort Collins, CO
    ^ This is 'ok' by Microsoft Word spell checker.

    Couple of things:
    Makes absolutely no sense. I'm not even sure as to how to change it. I would just take it out.

    Again, not sure what this means. Stick to words everyone can comprehend. In a paper it's a good idea to leave out slang words and swears and whatnot. I only read up until this part, I have to go for hockey, but lay off, the commas, you can let a sentence, go for a little longer, when you don't use, commas. :D

    It's kinda all over the board with random stuff happening. What class is this for? Expository writing or something? Maybe narrative? :meh: When you write a paper or anything for a class, always try to talk it out to yourself. Say the entire sentence before you write it.
    ^That's just not going to help. Funny....yes. :D

    Hey hey, just a little constructive criticism all IMO of course. :ninja:


    AuG
     
  10. Read it to yourself with the pauses. You should notice where it sounds odd.

    ...Or have a parent read it... even if it's not for them...
     
  11. I tried fixing it, but it would have taken me forever.
     
  12. I started to re-write his whole "novel"

    ...but I stopped about 1/4 of the way in. It was sounding good though. ;)
     
  13. BurningSkies

    BurningSkies CRAZY BALDHEAD

    Feb 20, 2005
    Seweracuse, NY
    True...very true.

    You are a woman wise beyond your years.
     
  14. fenderx55

    fenderx55

    Jan 15, 2005
    NYC/Queens
    i'm supposed to be writing a paper, so i just gave it a quick scan. Something that hasn't been mentioned and i wish i had been told this a long time ago that was related to me by my literary interpretation prof:
    avoid the passive voice.
    Jimmy burnt down the house :scowl:
    The house was burnt down by Jimmy :hyper:

    more just general advice that i felt like relating :smug:

    It all started when I went over to my friend’s house with my other friend.

    how bout, to my friend's house with another buddy/acquaintance etc
    i know it sounds affected, but idk, i hate repetition like that.

    deff review ur quatation rules...but it's like 12:30 ur probably asleep so i'm jsut taking up bandwith...my bad.
     
  15. Honestly, it is really, really difficult to read. A few quick tips:
    • The paper lacks an introduction and conclusion. Maybe it is not necessary for the assignment, but it makes it very difficult to read and comprehend.
    • The paragraphs fail to communicate a cohesive, specific idea. They seem randomly grouped without each have a beginning, middle and end.
    • Review the excessive use of commas, especially when preceding the word "and". It is rarely appropriate.
    • Too many unnecessary words. Some specific examples:
      • "That": It's one of the most overused words in the english language. Whenever you use it, remove it to see if it is truly necessary. Here's one example from the first paragraph:
    Try;

      • Too many words, usually referencing the subject of a sentence:
    Try something more straight-forward like this:
    ( I also question the use of "got", it should probably be "We went home...")

      • Overuse of "realize"; Use different verbs ("saw", learned", etc.) or determine if it is necessary (was there really a collective realization?):
    try;

    • Placement of quoted dialog. IIRC, dialog spoken by different individuals should be in separate paragraphs.
    • Numbers should be spelled out completely. For instance, "...for the 53rd time..." should be written as "...for the fifty-third time...".
    enough for now...
     
  16. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    I edit geotechnical engineering reports as part of my job. I could help you if you were writing one of those.
     
  17. JimmyM

    JimmyM Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2005
    Apopka, FL
    Endorsing: Ampeg Amps, EMG Pickups
    Eckerd's is gone since Jack Eckerd died last year and his family sold Eckerd's to CVS Pharmacy.
     
  18. It was starting to give me a headache.

    Oh, and my friend tells me I'm 17 going on 40. Explains my taste in men, I guess.
     
  19. JimmyM

    JimmyM Supporting Member

    Apr 11, 2005
    Apopka, FL
    Endorsing: Ampeg Amps, EMG Pickups
    Men suck. I would never date one.