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i no longer believe in Santa after this

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by xcental34x, Dec 24, 2004.


  1. xcental34x

    xcental34x

    Feb 28, 2003
    Memphrica, TN
    Xxcental34xx: marry crimmus
    SantaClaus: Hey. You're back. Cool. Tonight's the big night! I've got a special free gift for you today! It's a Christmas tree SuperBuddy Icon! Also, don't forget to register yet to win a $10,000 Shopping Spree! Just type menu.



    Xxcental34xx: shouldn't you have left by now?
    SantaClaus: Why did you say that?

    Xxcental34xx: because it is night in some parts of the world, you're just gonna forget about all those children overseas?
    SantaClaus: Whoa! Ho! Ho! slow down there! That's quite a lot for a man of my age to wrap his head around. Would you mind trying some shorter questions?


    Xxcental34xx: im dissappointed
    SantaClaus: Pardon me?


    Xxcental34xx: you're getting far too lazy
    SantaClaus: Hmm. Why don't you type, music, maybe that will put you in the Christmas spirit

    Xxcental34xx: you just killed my mood, you phat and lazy SOB
    SantaClaus: Sorry the elves didn't get that.


    Xxcental34xx: i don't believe in elves
    SantaClaus:
    Oh, don't be like that -- just ask another way.




    Xxcental34xx: ask what?
    SantaClaus: My goodness. What, what?


    Xxcental34xx: you're getting far too senile
    SantaClaus: May I ask you a question?

    Xxcental34xx: yes
    SantaClaus: Have you done any good deeds yet this holiday season?

    Xxcental34xx: yes, plenty, but obviously it doesn't mean squat since you're just gonna be fat and lazy and stay home all night
    SantaClaus:
    Would you mind trying to keep you questions to one sentence. I've got the entire world to visit and I'm running out of time.




    Xxcental34xx: you'll never make up for lost time
    SantaClaus: Cosmetics make a great gift for her.
    If you're looking to buy gifts, start your search here: Search for cosmetics

    Xxcental34xx: what?! i'm a male, i don't care for make up, do i come off as feminime?
    SantaClaus: Cosmetics make a great gift for her.
    If you're looking to buy gifts, start your search here: Search for cosmetics

    Xxcental34xx: i asked you a question
    SantaClaus:
    That's what I'm here for!




    Xxcental34xx: you have the attention span of a peanut
    SantaClaus: Interesting. Type menu.

    Xxcental34xx: no
    SantaClaus: The elves and I are just asking so that we can better understand what you're saying, that's all.


    Xxcental34xx: blah
    SantaClaus: Type menu to get your to do list for the holidays.

    Xxcental34xx: i'm not typing menu, you tubby jerk
    SantaClaus: I'm making my list and checking it twice, so you should too! Type a number:
    1 - Track Santa's Progress
    2 - A Free Gift 4U!
    3 - Tell Santa
    4 - Tell Buddies What U Want
    5 - Track a Shopping List
    6 - Play Xmas Hangman
    7 - Vote on Xmas Songs
    8 - Win $10k Shopping Spree
    9 - Send E-Cards
    10 - Listen to Xmas Music

    Xxcental34xx: haha, you tricked me
    SantaClaus:

    Now I want you to spread that spirit everywhere you go today!



    Xxcental34xx: spirit?
    SantaClaus: Can I ask YOU something?

    Xxcental34xx: yes
    SantaClaus: Would you like to see some links to other things to help put you in the Christmas spirit?

    Xxcental34xx: no
    SantaClaus: Mm hm. Such negativity. You are in need of some Christmas spirit!


    Xxcental34xx: oh ho ho, oh my
    SantaClaus:
    Merry Christmas!


    Don't forget to check our your to-do list by typing menu!


    Xxcental34xx: i'm not falling for that again
    SantaClaus: Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu, it's time to get you in the holiday spirit!

    Xxcental34xx: wow, such persistance
    SantaClaus:





    Xxcental34xx: yeah, uhm, please bring me that 5 string bass i want
    SantaClaus: I've noted it. Anything else?

    Xxcental34xx: an advance copy of anberlin's new CD would rock my socks
    SantaClaus: Alright now. I'm here to spread Christmas cheer -- so use this time wisely and type carefully. Here's quick way to get in the Christmas spirit; type, menu.


    Xxcental34xx: are you drunk?
    SantaClaus: What does this have to do with spreading the Christmas spirit?


    Xxcental34xx: well when people get drunk, they're far more likely to, uhm, you know, spread that christmas spirit
    SantaClaus: That's simply too much for me. My eyes are tired. Can you ask me something a bit more manageable?


    Xxcental34xx: i wasn't asking anything
    SantaClaus: Excuse me?


    Xxcental34xx: i wasn't asking anything
    SantaClaus: Oh, Dear. It's the elves again isn't it? Try typing menu; I've got a plan to get you in the Christmas spirit.


    Xxcental34xx: haha
    SantaClaus: Hee Hee.


    Xxcental34xx: haha
    SantaClaus: I'm glad you are getting in the spirit!


    Xxcental34xx: ho ho ho
    SantaClaus:
    Merry Christmas!




    Xxcental34xx: you, too, you fat SOB
    SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?

    Xxcental34xx: i wasn't asking anything
    SantaClaus: Wait, I was dancing to 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' and got a little carried away. Why don't you type music and sing along.

    Xxcental34xx: you have the attention span of a peanut
    SantaClaus: I'm sorry? I'm new to this whole IM thing.

    Xxcental34xx: well thats sad, then, if you can't quickly adjust to typing a conversation, and you're 1600 years old, then there is little hope for you
    SantaClaus: Oh, my. That is a mouthful. I'm so busy typing to so many children, could you send me a slightly smaller note?


    Xxcental34xx: like i said, small attention span
    SantaClaus: Take a moment, collect your thoughts, and try asking me another way. O.K. ?

    Xxcental34xx: i'm leaving, please get started soon, i want something underneath my tree tonight
    SantaClaus: I've got a billion children to keep track of -- so could you ask me something a bit more manageable? I'd very much appreciate it.


    Xxcental34xx: stop saying that
    SantaClaus: No, I don't think I will. I'm here to spread the Christmas spirit and I'm going to keep right on doing just that.


    Xxcental34xx: well you're an *******
    SantaClaus:
    I should be asking you the same thing. Ho Ho Ho!




    Xxcental34xx: wow, age really does make you senile
    SantaClaus: Hallelujah.


    Xxcental34xx: you're not really santa are you?
    SantaClaus:
    You're full of mischief.





    Xxcental34xx: you're just some old crazy cook who wandered into a library and set up a screenname
    SantaClaus: Goodness, that's too much for me to read. I'm talking to so may children and their parents. Could you ask me something a little shorter?


    Xxcental34xx: later
    SantaClaus: O.K. don't forget to help others get in the holiday spirit! Merry Christmas. CU!
     
  2. you have to much spare time :p
     
  3. SlavaF

    SlavaF

    Jul 31, 2002
    Edmonton AB
    Haha that's freaking awesome! :D
     
  4. Y didn't you say ***k ? that way u'll get a lump of coal..
     
  5. how do you know that he wasn't talking to you from his sleigh?