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I quit today - on a good note

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Foamy, Jun 12, 2007.


  1. Foamy

    Foamy

    Jun 26, 2006
    Sac Area
    Today I quit my band. I was not really happy to do it, but over the past few weeks, things were getting weird in e-mails and not getting fixed.

    The band went from a husband and wife doing acoustic stuff, to a trio with their daughter singing, then they added a lead guitar player, then a drummer, and then me.

    So it has evolved from something small into a rather decent band over the period of about a year. We'd been getting some good gigs, and getting paid as well.

    But I think that the original guy was trying to be a bit too controlling. For example, I'd send out a suggested playlist, and the e-mail would get ignored. I guess he was the playlist master. It was weird - nobody responded at all, and I got some verbal replies later that day like 'Ooooo...you sent out a playlist. That was pretty bold." Weird stuff like that.

    And last weekend he brought out 2 2x15 mains (about 5' high each), 2 1x18 subs, and 4 15" wedges plus the rack and mixer for a small backyard party on a small deck. I loaded up my stuff and all the drums and left - and I got a bit of guff for not hanging around for who-knows-how-many trips to take it all back to their house.

    So, I'm not mad or bitter. I am just a bit disappointed. These guys are all really decent musicians, and a couple are good friends now. I just felt that it was not fun for me, and if it is not fun, it is not worth it.

    There, got it off my chest.

    Cheers!
     
  2. Oratorio

    Oratorio

    May 9, 2007
    Norway
    Sad to hear it didn't work out for you. Being a good musician doesn't mean someone has good social skills, which I really have experienced aswell in my band! Guitarists are so self-centered. ;)
     
  3. jonly

    jonly

    Oct 3, 2005
    Springfield, il
    I just recently quit a "backup musician" position also. They aren't fun positions to be in but you can never tell that's how it's going to be until you join. Good luck in the future.
     
  4. good call, thats why most of us do what we do, good luck.
     
  5. AlembicPlayer

    AlembicPlayer Im not wearing shorts

    Aug 15, 2004
    Pacific Northwet, USA


    it's very difficult to work for a married couple or family.

    good luck finding your next project!:bassist:
     
  6. Foamy

    Foamy

    Jun 26, 2006
    Sac Area

    Yeah, I guess. It was awkward at times. The band used to feature the wife playing bass on keyboards, and I often felt some underlying resentment. They are very nice folks though, but too much weirdness and having to tip-toe around issues instead of just talking about things...
    Man, I'm 45 years old, and I don't have unlimited cycles on this planet to waste on that stuff. I wanna play!

    Thanks for the kind words!
     
  7. CrashClint

    CrashClint I Play Bass therefore I Am

    Nov 15, 2005
    Wake Forest, NC
    DR Strings Dealer (local only)
    I had a issue with a drummer. We put together a band and had a female lead vocalist, who was very versatile. Well, the drummer's wife thought she could sing good and went to her husband and told him she wanted to sing and join the band. The drummer hinted around a few times but we weren't biting, his wife always sounded flat. We played a few places and got an offer as a house band, . At the next practice the drummer and his wife walk in and the drummer proceeds to tell us that he is leaving the band. Then he has the nerve to ask me and the guitarist if we would like to join him and his wife in the band they are starting. I can't repeat what the guitarist said to them.
     
  8. rllefebv

    rllefebv

    Oct 17, 2000
    Newberg, Oregon
    And that's it in a nutshell... A few years ago, I made the decision that life is to short to play with bad drummers... Told both my bands I would stay until a replacement was found... Did that, parted as friends and moved on... Much happier now! Good for you Tim!

    -robert
     
  9. QORC

    QORC

    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey

    +1. I too am 45 and realize my shelf life as a rock bassist is evaporating. Thus, unlike when I was younger, I am much less tolerant of any even remotely bad situation. Life is too short to not have fun at my 'hobby.' In fact, I'm a bit on the fence with my current band (drummer issue - partly attitude, but mostly he's a mediocrity and doesn't practice enough).

    Anyway, it sounds to me like you made the right call.
     
  10. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

     
    Jan 15, 2021

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