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I REALLY, REALLY (!) need to vent.

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Salamenster, Oct 24, 2013.

  1. Okay, I'll try to type the things said and the current emotions I have here as well as I can. English is not my native language, but here goes:

    So I started college this year, faculty of medicine. Great! :)

    The faculty had it's own band! Double great! :D

    The faculty's band was looking for a bass player! Triple great! :hyper:

    So I auditioned, it went okay, I was the only bass player that applied. Next they sent me an e-mail that they had trouble selecting a singer, therefore they'd contact me in about two or three weeks to schedule a rehearsel with me.

    Since then, 4 or 5 weeks have passed and I still hadn't heard a thing. So today I said to myself: 'Now the initiative is mine!' and sent them an e-mail, saying something like: 'Hey, still haven't heard from you, how's it going with the singer, is the formation complete, etc.'

    Almost immediatly the guy replied, saying 'that I should have contacted them about the rehearsel after 2 or 3 weeks' and that they have found a sub for the upcoming gigs (next month they have 3! Last year in total they had 1... :eek:).

    I can't possibly tell you guys how mad I am right now. I quoted his 'we'll contact you'-sentence back to him, and questioning him about how I was supposed to know that I should have taken the initiative...

    I was really looking forward to that band, given the fact that they played cool music (MOTOWN!!!!!) and you get to know a lot of colleague-students of your faculty. :(

    But the worst part? I can't believe the lax, inconsiderate dude that was behind all this, is going to become a doctor... :crying:
  2. najko


    Aug 7, 2012
    how old are you?
  3. Wow, that sucks - what a total bummer. Just hope if you ever need a doc, it’s not him.

    PS: you came to the right place to vent.
  4. SirMjac28

    SirMjac28 Patiently Waiting For The Next British Invasion

    Aug 25, 2010
    The Great Midwest
    He did you a favor sounds like it could be a nightmare count your blessings and maybe start your own band and do much better.
  5. P Town

    P Town

    Dec 7, 2011
    Can't follow their own procedure? Don't seek medical advice, or treatment from them. Next time, don't wait for someone to get back to you.
  6. obimark


    Sep 1, 2011
    Happens all the time. My "new" band was supposed to practice tonite. I actually liked these guys, and they are close to my house- BIG BONUS.
    I send a simple email this morning "Hello, are we still planning to practice tonight." No drama, no fuss.

    Zero- response from the 3 other dudes. And THEY asked me to play with them!! not vice versa. Lesson learned, a lot of people are self-centered and stupid.
  7. kcole4001


    Oct 7, 2009
    Nova Scotia
    Finding out sooner rather than later is good when dealing with boneheads.

    Consider it a lucky break.
  8. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
  9. DaDrew2112


    Apr 7, 2011
    Dude I clicked your link :spit:
  10. Drop-D


    Mar 23, 2009
    Kansas City
    As a fellow premedical student I have learned that, without a doubt, the long road to becoming a physician has zero stops along the way for breaking stride to wait for someone else to take the initiative. Keep your head up, though. Perhaps you dodged a bullet in not having to be in a band with this guy.
  11. More likely last year's bass player came back for another paper or two but they didn't have the stones or courtesy to fire you.
  12. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    the Cali Intergalctic Mind Space
    Song Surgeon slow downer software- full 4 hour demo
    It's called after-the-fact B.S, It's a classic psychological ploy: turn the conversation around and blame the victim.

    He made up stuff to blow you off. He doesn't care about you. They probably kept looking for another bass player and found someone who they thought was better than you.

    He sleeps well at night. You'll be running into lots of people like that in med school and through out your life. Watch your back.

    I think what gives this whole deal a stink about it is that the guy said he found a "sub". What exactly does that mean? That you didn't show up to a rehearsal you didn't know about so another bass player was brought in? That doesn't make sense.

    And all this coming from a really smart guy. :spit::spit::atoz:

    Live and learn. It happens to the best of us.

    Good luck with med school.
  13. oerk


    Oct 16, 2009
    Stumbo has it right.

    My experience: 80% of musicians are a**holes, and the rest will turn out to be a**holes later on. Be glad you found out right away.

    (ok, I can't tell if you guys are a**holes, but I know for sure that I am one myself)
  14. Bert Slide

    Bert Slide

    May 16, 2012
    Louisville KY

    Did you reply to that first email at all or simply wait for the one they promised to send 2-3 weeks later?

    Not responding with a "Great meeting you guys and looking forward to playing with you soon....." and maybe an email back at two weeks with "Hey, any luck on a singer? I'm exited to get playing and am available to rehearse....." would be considered a lack of initiative by many. Even if you did these things the guy could still be a flake and blow you off but that is the type of initiative it takes to get jobs.
  15. kcole4001


    Oct 7, 2009
    Nova Scotia
    Just be the best bass player you can be, and you'll have people clamoring to have you in their band in no time.
    There are a ton of good bands, but never enough good bass players (or drummers) apparently.

    In a way playing bass is one of the easiest things in the world.
    All you have to be is consistent, reliable, capable, and not a dick and you'll always be in demand.
  16. obimark


    Sep 1, 2011
    Unfortunately not the case anymore- at least in my parts- now the trend is you have to do something EXTRA beyond playing bass to be in demand... MANY ads here want back-up vocals, lead vocals, playing keys as well.
    I do none of the above and have no desire to, I just want to play my bass well.
    If someone wants me in their band- Great. If not, no worries either!
  17. GlennW


    Sep 6, 2006
    Ime, this applies to many things/situations.

    Believe what they DO, not what they say.

    If they had wanted you, they would have contacted you.

    They didn't contact you because they didn't want you. Disregard any "reasons" they gave.

    Move on, and STUDY.
  18. obimark


    Sep 1, 2011
    This is the real Golden Rule- for EVERYTHING in life.

    Talk is cheap.... when people WANT you- whether it is for a JOB, Gig, even a date, they WILL contact you. When they don't- 99.99% of the time- whatever it is, YOU didn't get it.

    Tired of this BS advice- "Oh Call an employer ten times after an interview just to be sure". Never worked for me once. When they wanted me, they contacted me within the timeframe they stated, when they didn't someone else got it, EVERYTIME> This is no different.

  19. Nagrom


    Mar 21, 2004
    Western Canada
    +1 Obi. For whatever reason, they went another direction. Now that you've really really vented, it's time to relax. You probably didn't miss out on much, you're studying medicine, practicing your instrument diligently, and soon another opportunity will come your way.
  20. +11111111

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