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I resigned from my church band

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by AModestRat, Nov 13, 2017.


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  1. AModestRat

    AModestRat

    May 2, 2015
    New Orleans
    Continued from this topic: Thinking about dropping my church band

    Less than a week ago, I made a topic asking for advice on if I should drop my church band. Saturday, my question was answered rather roughly.

    On Saturday, November 11th, the church band had a practice scheduled for our Christmas concert, which is on the 9th of December. The practice was supposed to last from 1-4PM, and the band was to practice five songs that we would play after a music fraternity sang Christmas carols. This practice was at the college band hall, literally five minutes from anywhere in town.

    On Wednesday, November 8th, I was informed by my college jazz band teacher that we were to fill a slot at the local festival from 1-2 P.M., the same Saturday that the church band practice was scheduled. The time conflict completely slipped my mind until literally an hour before the events were to happen.

    Right before the jazz band's performance, I posted in the church band chat that I didn't realize the two events conflicted and I took responsibility for forgetting to inform the church band. For clarification, I also asked if the practice was 1-8 P.M., as a member of the music fraternity performing alongside us told me that was the practice time. This is how the drummer (pastor's son) responded:
    PSResponse.

    Couple of things to note:
    1. I was asked weeks ago, yes, and that was my answer. When I discovered the time conflict, I said I could be there halfway through practice and I'd learned whatever I missed. Four of the five songs were roots n' fifths BTW
    2. No idea where he's going with the "You don't have your life together" thing. I have a solid job, I pay my bills, etc. Also not his place to say that IMO.
    3. I didn't attempt to place the blame on anybody else, I literally took responsibility for my actions when I realized.

    I received that message in the middle of my jazz band performance at the festival. After we finished, I helped load up all the stands, etc. and helped bring them back to the band room, where the church band was practicing. I went home, changed out of my suit and shot a text to the pastor's son, asking to speak with him after they were done practicing.

    After the church band was done practicing, I confronted him about the message and simply told him that I was done with the band. We had a small discussion in which I apologized for my actions and he apologized for his words, but I told him that if he wouldn't have responded in that way I'd still be with the band. We shook hands and left.

    I will not be playing at their Christmas concert.
     
  2. Killed_by_Death

    Killed_by_Death Snaggletooth

    Jan 2, 2015
    heart of darkness
    Well, you did muck up their rehearsal time.
    Saying you don't have your life in order is out of line, but can't you just accept an apology & move forward?

    I guess if this was the straw that broke the camel's back, then by all means quit.

    add: from my reading on the other thread, I'd say the band leader wanted you out
    Maybe they have a replacement in mind & you just gave them a reason to escalate the tension.
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2017
  3. Dave W

    Dave W Supporting Member

    Mar 1, 2007
    White Plains
    Agreed. I wouldn't have quit either, unless I wasn't enjoying the band.
     
    Killed_by_Death likes this.
  4. Seanto

    Seanto

    Dec 29, 2005
    RVA
    While you made a scheduling snafu, his response was over the top and somewhat insulting. What a sorry excuse for a christian to act like that. Only a dick would write a response like that for someone missing half a rehearsal.

    I don't agree with others, quitting was the right thing to do as things just didn't seem to be mixing well in that situation.
     
  5. RustyAxe

    RustyAxe

    Jul 8, 2008
    Connecticut
    It wasn't handled well (ironically, church-y things often aren't) but the OP did screw up. But reading the OP in the original thread, I'd have quit too. BL is a dreamer, and thinks everyone should share in his dream. He also holds a position of "power" as the pastor's kid (PK's can be real PITAs). I don't mind dreamers, as long as they don't require me to contribute resources to what I perceive to be their unrealistic pipe dream (time, money). Walk away. Something else will come along, maybe not in church, but that's ok.
     
  6. jive1

    jive1 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Alexandria,VA
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    When someone quits or gets fired from a band for something small, it's usually the result of many small infractions occurring over a period of time. That appears to be the case here.

    On a side note....
    Rehearsing from 1-8 a month in advance to do 5 songs? At our church we do 5-7 songs an hour before service.
    At my previous church, I never made it to rehearsal due to my schedule, but they were fine with it.
     
  7. Technically you failed to work out your notice.
     
    packhowitzer likes this.
  8. MrLenny1

    MrLenny1

    Jan 17, 2009
    N.H.
    Do you get paid for the church gigs ?
    If not they should not poopie on volunteers IMHO.
     
  9. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    If we want to get all technical, notice is optional and a nicety, but not required. For a free or underpaid gig, I’m not sure anyone cares. For 5 songs....they ought to be able to fill the chair overnight.
     
    HolmeBass, RichSnyder and RustyAxe like this.
  10. Read the original thread.
     
  11. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    I did. I mentioned underpaid....
     
  12. bikeplate

    bikeplate Supporting Member

    Jun 7, 2001
    Upstate NY
    Resigned from mine 1.5 years ago after an almost 9 year run. Nothing lasts forever
     
    jharms80439 likes this.
  13. Jhengsman

    Jhengsman

    Oct 17, 2007
    Los Angeles, CA
    On the side not remember this was for one of the two times a year churches expect to see folks who never attend and many pull out all the extra flourishes. And for Christmas as far as the musicians are concerned it is a once a year song, not something you may have just done a few weeks before. And while the songs may be universally known they are also played in many genres and there would be no index version for the go to arrangement. So while you might have a chord chart and know the melody when you go to fake it everybody brings a different feel unless it is worked out ahead of time.
     
  14. jive1

    jive1 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Alexandria,VA
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    You still don't need 7-8 hours of rehearsal a month in advance to do it.
    At my church, we rehearse the day of for a Christmas eve service for a couple of hours. Still sounds good and nobody is freaking out either.
    I have friends who do Christmas services with no rehearsal at all, because they are able to sight read very well and/or already familiar with the material.
     
    AModestRat, Stumbo, HolmeBass and 5 others like this.
  15. Seanto

    Seanto

    Dec 29, 2005
    RVA
    Agreed. Folks act like giving notice is one of the ten commandments. Not in real life, but utopia maybe.
     
  16. DirtDog

    DirtDog

    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    +1000 to each sentence in this post.
     
  17. pacojas

    pacojas "FYYA BUN"

    Oct 11, 2009
    MEXICANADAMERICA
    oh look, snowflakes. has winter come early this year? ;)
     
    kesslari and J-Bassomatic like this.
  18. JaseyT

    JaseyT

    Jun 18, 2009
    Speaking as someone who leads a worship team, there's no way I'd let a member of the team speak that way to another member. Even if they're the leader, and even if they're the pastor's son.
     
  19. Smooth_bass88

    Smooth_bass88 Groove it Supporting Member

    Oct 31, 2006
    AMERICA
    so go out and find other gigs. Bass players are in high demand.
     
    joebar likes this.
  20. Thumb n Fingers

    Thumb n Fingers

    Dec 15, 2016
    @AModestRat , you did nothing to be ashamed of. I get the scheduling conflict. Sure, if I were a bandleader and that happened, I'd be a little bent, but not to the point that the PK called you out on it. Kudos to you for admitting the mistake and taking the blame. What more can one be asked to do? This was just a bad situation and it's best that you moved on (with apologies all around and shaking hands). Nothing good was going to ever come from that situation. I'll bet there's a great deal of relief in your life now.
     
    AModestRat and Deak like this.



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