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I should be wearing Abercrombie..

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by DigMe, Feb 25, 2006.


  1. DigMe

    DigMe

    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    ..so that my domination is quite apparent to female dogs.
    Subtitled - Nerd Gets Over.

    Last night one of my friends had a bunch of guys over for an organized game night where you have 4 teams and each person on your team is playing a different game at the same time and moving through a bracket. It was pretty funny because everyone had their mock testosterone-laden smack-talking on. The games were ping-pong, tabletop shuffleboard, foozball, darts, a game called "Hats Off" and a mystery game that no one could talk about. My teammates all had their strengths at the games involving dexterity. One guy scored 1000 pts on darts, another two did pretty well at doubles ping pong. And me? Well... I opted for the mystery game.

    I was in luck.

    Me and the first guy from the other team ascended the stairs to find a table with seats facing each other, a divider between them and a jambox tape player set up. At this point I did not yet feel the testosterone flowing but when I read the title of our contest that all changed: SPELLING COMPETITION. I knew the night would belong to me. I gave my opponent a crushing look and a wink that spoke death. I sat down at the yellow child's table in a seat made for a kindergartner, picked up my pen and started the tape player.

    It started off easy with menagerie and mayonnaise. Is that the best you got, faceless spelling bee lady? As if sensing my challenge, she brought it up a notch with duodenum and perspicacious. Child's play. Then she brought the hammer down. "Zebu?" What the hell's a zebu? Turns out it's some kind of ox. Zebu tripped me up. I could almost hear the smug satisfaction in the tinny, faceless voice eminating from the cheap, plastic boombox. After that, though, it was all downhill. We finished up our words and gave it to the other for grading. It was a crushing defeat. My brain was rippling beneath my scalp as the warm feeling of victory known as adrenaline flowed through my veins. I returned my opponent's "X" covered paper with a silent smirk that spoke louder than the yelling at the ping pong table below. "Nice spelling, Cupcake," I wanted to say to him, but I knew that would be crass and over the top. "Nice spelling, Cupcake," I said to him.

    I took my paper and returned to the first floor.

    Unfortunately, despite having an untouchable spelling score for the night, my enormous brain wasn't sufficient to carry the team alone and we got last place. Our prize for last place? Tiarras <sic>. Yes!

    brad cook
     
  2. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    Get your panties out of a wad.

    You'll get them next time.
     
  3. MAJOR METAL

    MAJOR METAL HARVESTER OF SORROW Staff Member Supporting Member

    Are they the company that sells $200 riped up jeans ?
     
  4. DigMe

    DigMe

    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    I have no idea.

    brad cook
     
  5. Matt Call

    Matt Call Supporting Member

    Aug 1, 2004
    Minneapolis, MN
    This may be irrelevant; but I was in a spelling bee once. I couldn't spell "squalid."

    I feel so worthless...

    And yes, they do selled ripened jeans. Sorry, lame joke. Jeans with holes. Yes, they have them. Yes, they are overpriced enough to make mothers cry.
     
  6. Ericman197

    Ericman197

    Feb 23, 2004
    Iowa
    I lost in the final round of my grade school spelling bee with plateau. I don't want to talk about it.
     
  7. Matt Call

    Matt Call Supporting Member

    Aug 1, 2004
    Minneapolis, MN
    I lost in the final round in my first grade spelling bee.

    I guess s-p-e-e-k isn't how you spell speak.

    dang.

    I used to be in tons of spelling bees. This one and the one I referred to earlier are the only ones I really remember distinctly.
     
  8. Trevorus

    Trevorus

    Oct 18, 2002
    Urbana, IL
    In the words of Brian Regan, "I guess I was always an idiot, but nobody knew until the spelling bee."
     
  9. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    We will need visual verification of the tiaras.
     
  10. Matt Call

    Matt Call Supporting Member

    Aug 1, 2004
    Minneapolis, MN
    Yes. You always must remember: without pictures, it doesn't exist.
     
  11. i laughed at that line!
     
  12. DigMe

    DigMe

    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    Pictures were taken. They are not yet in my possession.

    brad cook
     
  13. Minger

    Minger

    Mar 15, 2004
    Rochester, NY
    Screw abercrombie. I wear mostly Aero because well...theres sometimes those 30% off coupons and I'll go see whats in the clearance section. I can pull about 6 shirts for the cost of one at Abercrombie...

    Eh, waht am I talkin about? At least you can spell; most people need spellcheck these days...just like people need calculators to add simple numbers.
     
  14. DigMe

    DigMe

    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    Abercrombie has nothing to do with this thread. It was a reference for the old-school TBers from the Petey Mac days.

    bc
     
  15. Sippy

    Sippy

    Aug 1, 2005
    Stuart,Florida
    I went to nationals in my spelling bee I was on TV and everything.My first word was kernel. I was so nervous I didn't ask for it to be used in a sentence or a definition so I said "C-O-L-O-N-E-L" ... but it was the wrong one :(
     
  16. Ericman197

    Ericman197

    Feb 23, 2004
    Iowa
    Well aren't we special?
     
  17. Eli M.

    Eli M. Life's like a movie, write your own ending

    Jul 24, 2004
    New York, NY
    I saw the same thing happen to someone when I was in sixth grade - the word was "heroine", he didn't ask for a sentence or a definition, and he spelled it like the drug.

    I lost the preliminary spelling bee that would have put me in that kid's place, because I forgot to say "Capital" S.

    EDIT: now that I think about it, that kid probably didn't know there were two different spellings. I mean, what elementary school spelling bee would use the name of a drug as a word?
     
  18. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    Incredible.
     
  19. Minger

    Minger

    Mar 15, 2004
    Rochester, NY

    Oh, I thought the reference was to the people stupid enough to buy from the store?

    Not exactly sure...
     
  20. Bryan R. Tyler

    Bryan R. Tyler TalkBass: Usurping My Practice Time Since 2002 Staff Member Administrator Gold Supporting Member

    May 3, 2002
    Connecticut
    May we never forget....

    You should have worn a baseball cap just so you could have turned it around "Over The Top"-style when you were turning up the juice.


    Well, the spelling juice anyways.