I want out.

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by H2ODog, Sep 1, 2009.

  1. Eilif

    Eilif Holding it down in K-Town. Supporting Member

    Oct 1, 2001
    Good advice all around. So long as you conduct yourself well, and they aren't a bunch of children, there's no reason you can't leave with your dignity and reputation intact.

    I would second the notion of finishing out gigs they have booked if they want you too, but definitely fix a solid date for your complete departure. Helping them find a replacement might be nice, but it's probably better to let them choose your replacement.

    I tried the stick around and help them find a replacement thing, and it took them over 6 months to let me go, they still hadn't found a bassist, and they broke up 3 shows later! Give them a month (maybe 2) to use your services as part of the band, and beyond that, if they need your services, you're a hired gun.
  2. This thread is COMPLETELY screwed up!!

    OP, you are supposed to only give us a vauge description, & bit by bit supply info that slowly reveals it's quite a different situation. And you are supposed to soundly reject any & all of the advice you requested.

    Everyone else, what IS all this agreement & working together stuff?!?!?

    Points go to the faked death sub-thread. I suggest mid-gig you dive into a Hendrix-esque solo (extra points for slap&pop) & end by hollering "don't wanna play surf music no more!!"
  3. JSK5String


    May 19, 2008
    Littleton, CO
    +1 to all of the "honesty works" suggestions.

    I was "filling in" for a buddy who's bass player moved to Montana. Well, the "filling in" thing became permanent (I rock, sniff ;)) and I just didn't have the time between my first band, my family duties, etc. I told them I loved the music & gig but didn't have the time & gave them a little notice. They were totally cool with it and still ask me to sit in whenever I go to see them.

    Bottom line, if they get peed at you for being honest with them then you'd probably have some other issue before long anyway...
  4. DblG


    Apr 27, 2005
    Buffalo, NY
    <slight sidetrack>

    I'd just like to give props to Stumbo... Dude, you really are the Link-Master.
    All hail the King of Links...he does the searching for you!

    Rock on man. :bassist:
  5. Mystic Michael

    Mystic Michael Hip No Ties

    Apr 1, 2004
    New York, NY
    This topic comes up so constantly in the "Band Management" forum, it ought to be made into a sticky... :rolleyes:

    You're already making this much more complicated than it needs to be. Tell them what you just stated here: 'I'm not enjoying the music anymore, I feel that I'm not really connecting with you guys, so I've decided to move along. I'll give you ____ number of weeks to find a replacement, then I'm out of here.'

    Don't worry about them being pissed at you. You're not responsible for their reactions. Play it straight up: simple, honest, direct. Then follow through.

    There. That wasn't so hard, was it? :meh:

  7. Jeb


    Jul 22, 2001
    Thats what I was thinking. You can't control other people's reactions. If they are going to be disappointed (which I assume they might be), they are going to be disappointed. The sun will rise tomorrow, and you will likely play again. In another month it will be October 1st. Regardless.
  8. mrkreuzschlitz


    Jun 30, 2008
    Dacula, GA
    Treat it like a professional job.
  9. Pilgrim

    Pilgrim Supporting Member

    I'm in a surf band and we know it's not for everyone. Just tell them the truth and don't leave them high and dry if you have a gig coming up.
  10. H2ODog


    Sep 30, 2003
    Roseville, CA
    Well, i gave notice today and all went well, thanks everyone.
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    Primary TB Assistant

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