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I want to join this band but I don't have the right bass!

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by AlembicPlayer, Mar 22, 2009.

  1. AlembicPlayer

    AlembicPlayer Im not wearing shorts

    Aug 15, 2004
    Pacific Northwet, USA
    yes, another CL ad. I'm down with all of it but I don have or want a Ibanez bass..I do like to party, love women and rock the house.oh well thems the breaks! Maybe I can go for the "RYTHM" guitarist position, I DO have a loud amp.
    Maybe it's the right gig for a TB'er..that is IF you want to burn down Humbolt.

    check it -

    Im probably the most Important Musician about to break in the past decade. Singer / lead guit.band leader looking for others to burn this place with my new style of rock. my vocals are intense to say the least somewhere between sex pistols and rush. I have 47 songs, actually, hits ready to go. these songs shred anything that is out now.they sound like anthrax meets pearl jam coming across red hot chili peppers in a dark alley to jam. believe me, you wanna piece of this. theres nothin like it out now. we will be forging new territory. if you wanna "get paid, get laid and burn this town down with flames of rock" (thats just a sample of the 'rics) this band will be hot and will be big. get in on the ground floor and hold on. I play like a modern day eddie van halen but better. "when i throw down, believe youll go down, cuz this hard rockin sound Is why I where the crown - gonna smack you up, gonna beat you down, gonna forget your name when I leave town. cuz im rock hard, and im hard rock. won't serve you dinner but i'll feed you c**k " i copywrite all my lyrics so dont get any funny ideas. must be ready to hit the ground runnin because i guarentee well be touring the states and signing deals with in the year. serious replies only. make sure you got the balls to ride it out and make sure you got the chops to run with the big dogs cuz this aint amature night. must like to party, love women and rock the house. i play a b.c.rich through two stacks. and have a P.A. also we can practice in my living room. be willing to practice every day for at least 4 or 5 hours and expect to quit your job with in the year cuz youll never have to work again. already have a gig booked for 4th of july BBQ. I was thinkin of calling the project "STEADFAST" i already have a logo and a couple of t-shirts ready to go. ONLY FOR BAND MEMBERS though!!!!! lets get this rock a rollin!
    -rick rock
    needed are:
    BASS PLAYER-perferrably play an ibanez
    RYTHM GUITAR-must have loud amp
    POSSIBLY BACK UP VOCAL SECTION-2 chicks (single please)

    STEADFAST. NOW LEAVING EARTH. NEXT STOP PLANET ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  2. pipe_godzend

    pipe_godzend fender junkie

    Nov 26, 2007
    Washington D.C
    wow that was funny and a bit retarded at the same time i dont even now what to feel sorry or excited:oops:
  3. 73jbass

    73jbass Supporting Member

    Apr 17, 2004
    Sounds to me like he's all about himself.I'd stay away.
  4. dewi


    Nov 10, 2008
    yeah get a cheap ass ibanez cause you will prob. end up breaking over this guys head. Diamond Dave he is not
  5. lomo

    lomo passionate hack Supporting Member

    Apr 15, 2006
    At least Spinal Tap was satire......this %#@& is real! ROFLMAO
  6. uaudio


    Apr 11, 2008
    awesome. I'd show up with one of your Alembic's and a can of black spray paint. Spray paint is almost as metal as an ibanez.
  7. AlembicPlayer

    AlembicPlayer Im not wearing shorts

    Aug 15, 2004
    Pacific Northwet, USA
    I always find it interesting that the most talented prolific musicians have no band and they're always looking for musicians on craig's list. IME, real players are in the circuit and word of mouth is everything in terms of making solid connections and getting good gigs. These guys live on craig's list and everybody else in the community is somehow missing out on their great talent. Anyone I've ever met that had the goods never had to hard sell it...let the music do the talking and let your reputation, work ethic and high integrity stand for itself. I wouldn't buy a used car from this guy let alone support his delusions of grandeur.

    otoh, he does have a BBQ backyard gig..it could lead to more free chicken wings and beer!
  8. J. Crawford

    J. Crawford

    Feb 15, 2008
    You sure this isnt:

    1. A Guitar Hero/Cowbell Hero scam?

    2. Jack Black trying to ditch KG for a new band? Thats how the grammar and word choice sounds.
  9. kgoism


    Mar 26, 2008
    Kennett Square, PA
    Rick Rock...

    Could he have chosen a better name?
  10. AlembicPlayer

    AlembicPlayer Im not wearing shorts

    Aug 15, 2004
    Pacific Northwet, USA
  11. Febs

    Febs Supporting Member

    May 7, 2007
    Philadelphia, PA
    Wow. He has a 4th of July BBQ booked! I'm going to resign from my day job tomorrow and sign up with this guy--he's obviously going places.
  12. Febs

    Febs Supporting Member

    May 7, 2007
    Philadelphia, PA
    I just read this out loud to my wife and she can't stop laughing. She wants to know whether the guy who wrote it is Wayne or Garth.
  13. AlembicPlayer

    AlembicPlayer Im not wearing shorts

    Aug 15, 2004
    Pacific Northwet, USA
    look...he's got a logo, a couple of t-shirts and a chicken and beer gig.

    he is also giving a *guarentee*
    " i guarentee well be touring the states and signing deals with in the year"

    I don't need it in writing, a hand shake is good enough. Maybe it's time to take a leap of faith and quit the day job!
  14. He could open for Rush with that BBQ backline! :eek: ;)
  15. You all DO know it's a goof, right? No way he's serious. No way. You've all been HAD!!!!:cool:
  16. ErebusBass


    Feb 20, 2008
    Madison, WI
    I think he's serious.

    Thanks AlembicPlayer. I needed a little pick me up before work.

    Made my day.
  17. Tumeni Notes

    Tumeni Notes

    Jan 2, 2009
    I was able to get a snapshot of him!!

    Attached Files:

  18. Absentia


    Feb 25, 2009

    "Hot babes, Cold cash. Shootin up fast and I dont wanna crash. - I see you, your tiny rage. Looks like an ant from my 12 foot stage.
    Gettin paid, Always laid. Percs of my rock and roll cusade. - Work hard, Your a waiter. Im a stinking rich rock n roll gladiator"

    wow those "'rics" are entirely worth copyrighting.
  19. The happy news is he won't be flying the airplane you're on, or performing surgery on you.

    Better be careful next time you go to Humboldt MacDonalds though...

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