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I want to kick my drummer in the face

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Whitebread, Feb 28, 2001.

  1. Whitebread


    Jun 26, 2000
    So tonight was the tryouts for the school talent show. We got there on time but forgot to sign up so we had to tryout last. Jordan, our drummer, showed up about 45 minutes after the rest of us, but that wasn't really a problem. We sat there and watched the performances, our guitarist played with another band because there guitarist doesn't go to our school anymore and they did really good.

    About 30 minutes before we go on Jordan gets up and goes to the bathroom. Ten minutes before we go on we start looking for jordan so a few of us went in the bathroom. We get in there and he's sitting in the stall taking a crap, we told him to hurry it up but he tells us that he has diarrhea. We just yelled at him to hurry up and he starts talking about how if he gets up he feels like he will crap his pants. We keep coming in and out telling him to hurry and he keeps saying that he can't, after a while it became obvious that he was full of it. About 15 minutes after we were supposed to start we are running around trying to figure things out, we asked the drummer from the other band but he didn't know any of the songs we play. So after being yelled at and told to hurry up we finally decide to have our lead guitarist AND singer play the drums while the singer from the other band sings and our rythmm guitarist plays. We had to change our song from "Radio" by Rancid to "The Crowd" by Operation Ivy, because radio needed two guitars. So we played, and it was quite simply horrible, the abosolute worst we have ever played, the drums were off beat, the singing was kind of messed up, the guitar solo was messed up, and my bass was too quiet and I played terribly. About 20 seconds into the song our drummer just strolled in all fine and dandy.

    So it seems we probably won't make it into the talent show.
    Sorry for being so long winded, but I'm not in the mood to be coherent.
  2. Try and get it so that his nose and teeth break at the same time or you could find a new drummer.
  3. Make him some special brownies.. ya you know what I mean.. =) put some exlacks (or however the hell you spell it) in there and make sure he eats the WHOLE BATCH =) but if he doesn't.. you can always give it to other friends as a prank
  4. I say kick his a$$ and be sure to leave your boot in there, that will help him keep up with his diarrhea... and maybe learn not to mess up when youre supposed to play:eek:. NOTE: be sure to use a boot that you dont use that much. :) :)
  5. CS


    Dec 11, 1999
    He was probably extremely nervous. He still needs a kicking because he should have got up there and played badly.

    You played badly (by your own admission) because you were upset, but you still played.

    Pick people that will rise above the sometimes insane situations that seem to only affect your band. 'Seem' is the operative word. We all have nightmare gigs.

    Get up there and do it again with a new drummer if need be or with ploppypants and applying the right help/leverage/threats of violence. Learn to laugh at these situations.
  6. Whitebread


    Jun 26, 2000
    I'm feeling better now since yesterday, that was the first time I'd been seriously angry in a long time. I'm sure it was about being nervous, he did the same thing last time. We practiced for the show and everything was fine, then the day before the show he said that he didn't want to play, so we had to spend an hour convincing him to play.

    He didn't come to school today, I wonder if it had something to do with his new nickname, sh*ts.
  7. "the crowd" is cooler than "radio" anyways
  8. Your ex drummer needs a bl**dy good slap and then a lot of kindness and simpathy so tell him to go hug a tree !! He doesn't deserve to be in the band so replace him.

  9. Cornbread


    Jun 20, 2000
    Lawrence, Ma
    Well, Whitebread, I feel for ya. I'll tell you my drummer woes:

    I'm playing in my school's talent show in a couple weeks with a group we just formed (Safety First). I'm playing bass and singing, we've got a guitarist, a drummer, and a drummer from another band who's going to play guitar and sing as well. The song we decided to play is "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd. You could say there's a lot of tension between me and the guitarist/drummer. He is a pretty good drummer, but he wants to be a singer/guitarist for some reason. The problem is he is an awful singer and a poor guitarist, but he's just too plain arrogant to believe anyone who tells him he isn't good. He's about as tone-deaf as a jellyfish and as stubborn as a rock. I could go on and on about all the things he does that irk me (such as playing the crash/ride/china cymbals WAY WAY too much!). But my biggest gripe is that he doesn't communicate with me musically, EVER. He plays his part, and that's all there is to it.

    I think when we play the song, I'll let him sing it so he can get thrown off the stage. I'm at the point where if he does something stupid again, I'm seriously going to strangle him.

    Sorry for venting.
  10. Gel


    Mar 26, 2000
    Tauranga, New-Zeland
    Drummers can be some of the greatest poeple and musicians in the world, or they can be real jackasses.

    BTW, Welcome to my world.
  11. Steve S

    Steve S

    Jul 26, 2000
    Find a new drummer! This guy doesn't seem to be on the same page as the rest of you.

    Years ago, we were supposed to play at an outdoor party along with another band. That band had a great lead guitarist. Our lead guitarists gets so intimidated that he hid in the garage and refused to come out. I never played with him again.
  12. steve, lol, i'm glad i'm not like that with my bass or i'd never play.. lol
  13. yup they all need a bass beltin in the side of the head, one good smack, never know what hit em!
  14. Brendan

    Brendan Supporting Member

    Jun 18, 2000
    Austin, TX
    Man...I must be lucky. MY drummer is a few years younger than us, but he's really cool about the drums, and pretty good at them (he's 13 and he can already play the entire drum solo to Zeps "Moby Dick"!) And he's just a really cool guy. My former drummer...now there was a putz...
  15. jcadmus


    Apr 2, 2000
    Dude, I feel for ya, but give the kid a break -- he had the howling skitters!

    Let's say he hitched up his drawers and came out to play with you guys, and the diarrhea just wouldn't give up -- now THAT would have been a CRAPPY performance.
    Quite literally. ;)

    Anybody else here every have a crummy gig? Probably all of us, I'm guessing.

    Hang tough and don't let it get you down. There will be lots more gigs, most of them great, some of them awful. That's just life in the foodchain.
  16. judging from this his drummer didnt actually have diarrhea, he just pretended he did so he wouldnt have to play, is this right dude. can you clarify?
  17. Whitebread


    Jun 26, 2000
    well he didn't admit that he didn't have diarrhea but it was pretty obvious. I don't know what was up with him, but I guess he's settled down, he did fine at the gig on friday.
  18. Gel


    Mar 26, 2000
    Tauranga, New-Zeland
    Kick him in the face anyway. Some drummer has to pay for his kin's heinous crimes....

  19. deffinetly a good call there man!!
  20. aww crap! ...or not =)

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