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If Pres. Lincoln was an intenet subscriber during the Civil War!

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by P. Aaron, Sep 1, 2003.


  1. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    My thanks/apologies to Chris Fitzgerald:
    The original;

    THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS:


    Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this
    continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the
    proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in
    a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so
    conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are met on a great
    battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of
    that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave their
    lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and
    proper that we should do this. But in a larger sense, we cannot
    dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground.
    The brave men, living and dead who struggled here have consecrated
    it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will
    little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never
    forget what they did here. It is for us the living rather to be
    dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here
    have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here
    dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these
    honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which
    they gave the last full measure of devotion--that we here highly
    resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this
    nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom, and that
    government of the people, by the people, for the people shall
    not perish from the earth.

    Translated for internet use:
    DA GATYSBURG ADRES


    FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN Y3ARS AGO OUR FATH3RS BROUGHT FORTH ON THIS
    CONTIENNT A NU NATION CONCEIEVD IN LIEBRTY AND D3DICAETD 2 TEH
    PROPOSITION TAHT AL M3N R CREAETD 3QUAL11!1 OMG *** LOL NOW WE R 3NGAEGD IN
    A GREAT CIVIL WAR TASTNG WHETH3R TAHT NATION OR ANY NATION SO
    CONCAIEVD AND SO D3DICAETD CAN LONG 3NDUR3!1!11 OMG *** WE R M3T ON A GREAT
    BATLEFEILD OF TAHT WAR!11!1! OMG LOL WA HAEV COMA 2 DEDICAET A PORTION OF
    TAHT FEILD AS A FINAL R3STNG-PLAEC FOR THOSE WHO HARA GAEV THEYRE
    LIEVS TAHT TAHT NATION MIGHT LIEV11!!1!! *** LOL IT IS AL2GETHER FITNG AND
    PROPER TAHT W3 SHUD DO THIS!1!!! OMG *** BUT IN A LARGER SANSA WE CANOT
    D3DICAET WA CANOT CONSACRAET WE CANOT HALOW THIS GROUND1!!111 OMG LOL TEH BRAEV MAN LIVNG AND DEAD WHO STRUGL3D H3RE HAEV CONSACRAETD
    IT FAR ABOVE OUR POR POWER 2 AD OR DATRACT!1!1 OMG TEH WORLD WIL
    LITL3 NOTE NOR LONG REMEMBR WUT WA SAY HERE BUT IT CAN NAVER
    FORGAT WT DID HERE11!!!!!! OMG IT IS FOR US TEH LIVNG RATH3R 2 B
    DEDICAETD HERE 2 TEH UNFINISHED WORK WHICH THEY WHO FOUGHT HARA
    HAEV THUS FAR SO NOBLY ADVANC3D!111!111 IT IS RATHAR FOR US 2 B HAR3
    DEDICAETD 2 TEH GREAT TASK R3MANENG BFOR3 US-TAHT FROM TH3S3
    HONORED DEAD W3 TAEK INCR3AESD D3VOTION 2 TAHT CAUSA FOR WHICH
    TH3Y GAEV DA LAST FUL MAASURA OF DEVOTION-TAHT WA H3RA HIGHLY
    RESOLVE TAHT THESE DAAD SHAL NOT HAEV DEID IN VANE TAHT THIS
    NATION UNDAR GOD SHAL HAEV A NU BIRTH OF FREDOM AND TAHT
    GOV3RNMENT OF DA PEOPL3 BY DA P3OPLE FOR DA P3OPLE SHAL
    NOT P3RISH FROM TEH AARTH
    !1!1!!! ***
     

  2. That would be some wacked sh!t! :)
     
  3. Tsal

    Tsal

    Jan 28, 2000
    Finland, EU
    Well, all you would need would be a laptop with a WLAN-card, a space/time-wormhole leading to WLAN-able area, say to some Japanese business-class hotel.. and a small eggplant.
     
  4. what?
     
  5. Yo yo yo ! What da dildo !?!
     
  6. Tsal

    Tsal

    Jan 28, 2000
    Finland, EU
    Well silly you, you wouldn't drag cables through the wormhole now would you?

    I mean, if you would, then President Lincoln could follow the cables through the hole and find his way to present-day US, and certainly he would cancel the whole show after seeing that! :eek:

    With WLAN, you only need to cover the hole - preferably above his house so that no-one would stumble on it - with something like say, a cloaker-equipped Klingon K'Vort Class Bird of Pray to hide it.

    It's like, so easy when you think of it.
     
  7. I see ;)
     
  8. Stephen S

    Stephen S Member

    Apr 10, 2002
    San Bernardino, CA
    I wish i could be a geek and cleverly witty at the same time. :D
     
  9. He would so drag a t1 though the wormhole. And then warn everyone about microsoft...and those digital pets.
     
  10. President Lincoln was like, like, so honest and stuff dat they named a car after him.

    He was also like the first dude wiff a ATM card. Not many peeps know dis. ;)

    Mike and stuff :D
     
  11. bassmonkeee

    bassmonkeee Supporting Member

    Sep 13, 2000
    Decatur, GA
    You are all sooooooo incredibly fired... :D
     
  12. Matthew Bryson

    Matthew Bryson Guest

    Jul 30, 2001
    :meh: I am absolutely without words.
     
  13. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    I PLADGE ALEIGENC3 2 TEH FLAG OF TEH UNIETD STAETS OF MARICA!1!111!! OMG *** LOL AND 2 DA R3PUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS ONE NATION UNDER GOD!1!! OMG *** INDIVISIBLE WIT LIEBRTY AND JUSTIEC FOR AL!1!!11 OMG LOL
     
  14. Matthew Bryson

    Matthew Bryson Guest

    Jul 30, 2001
    Please stop now. Please. I've just had lunch and this making me feel sick ;)

    ...By the way, the !1!!111!!'s and the *** OMG LOL's are way too funny. Don't these kids that type like this have any idea how stupid they sound... er how stupid the look ...how about, how stupid there text looks... yeah, that's the one.
     
  15. LiquidMidnight

    LiquidMidnight

    Dec 25, 2000
    What makes you think Abe would have been a Mac user?

    Then again, he's was a pretty prudent and practical guy; he probaly would have used Linux. :D
     
  16. Benjamin Strange

    Benjamin Strange Commercial User

    Dec 25, 2002
    New Orleans, LA
    Owner / Tech: Strange Guitarworks
    The "Lost in Translation" Translation:

    Direction GETTYSBURG: An identical company of age 7 of points e? Which is complete that prearranges this our internal father he situation, in the continent and is to the greatest piece of the applications of the east muscle country well the end to obtain and the ignited demand before this place, that is person of everything, of that one is introduced, for the interior for the interior, is opened. For the hour he we stopped with the thing with, this country or the country the examinación, that one he that we are to meant her to the interior, since then that this reason must make examinación, because it is introduced, is he therefore it has broken external, possible he and the internal resistance of the bodies, you you stop the war of the north and the south, pressed that participates. We are war and great battleground, from this comes to make contact with enemy with. We give the form to ascent five of the totality, so that the kitchen the conclusion of the execution the part of the pressed zone he, of who, it stops in the tension, the thing that this for the field, he the place of the country of the life here together reune of respecting? They produce to us with the acceptance of this, being constant totally and they adapt. In the temporary order with relative of capienza of hwak the line to the interior of the great direction the type, he consecrat e, the end to be, our possible situation and and he who you here were not we formed that we are he and of the faith of the consumed part of the Earth of the Earth resistance of the attack he is possible the new Sterngroll we and inside they do not come anh. from, that they fight to person, where we are brave and for all the increase, of him, the life and the buckets he it authorization of the authorization and consecrated do not organize aqui '? In the reduction of the part of the right of the respect to the resistance of her who the defective Lianrufe is inner we these whom Kim extinguishes directly, forgets them the internal bodies here the week, when nevertheless, the world of the will of this situation is new here and of this one assuredly is impossible, does not think. _, if to the outside consérvelo in this hand with here of you here, when to fight them to this place of the time of the newspaper, if the life is incomplete, until now, of that one with her she we are splendid and to the life in the event that goes this one has the place. _ _ he to stop specific one interior to be for interior that you to clear that that one, because ANSR earth government not with work, that one she to stop to be fiss everything, autorizz, east Verringerns possibility reputation, that one she to before stop to be with excess that is to say, situation source us inside to use interior to be to be free oil to lubricate to emit bird pressure under n inferior ice-slide part, person everything that to be and crowdedly crowdedly to form person, order in winch he nevertheless stops form to cook east interior country? Hes of the cause of devozione, those we changed with those }thereupon{... The conclímos that in them we dissolve to the U with him we closed the situation here this employee the extremity of ricompensa of devozione, of which he is not given totally and that one is and makes the mercies of a single step the interior, of whom we repaired it, I, we inside have taken through them we followed savage.
     
  17. Brad Johnson

    Brad Johnson Commercial User

    Mar 8, 2000
    Gaithersburg, Md
    Boom Bass Cabinets, DR strings
    If you were a geek you'd "think" you were witty anyway. Comes with the uniform.