I sometimes joke to people that I wish I could be Morrissey, minus the whole part about having been molested as a child and sexually confused ever after. I have a voice somewhere approximating his--gimme a few cases of pomade and a better falsetto and I could definitely front a Smiths tribute band--but I would just kill to have that kind of command of language. It would almost make being a mopey killjoy worthwhile. Given the chance, and what we know about various stars' public personae, who would you become? I'm not talking about well-adjusted (if phallomaniacal) types like Gene Simmons and Mick Jagger; I'm talking about the guys who invariably have substance abuse or mental health problems but whose aesthetic perspectives are utterly unique. Someone like Trent Reznor, Kurt Cobain, John Frusciante--hell, even Jaco, who was as close to a rock star as jazz fusion was ever gonna get.