1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  
    TalkBass.com has been uniting the low end since 1998.  Join us! :)

If you had to kill someone . how would you do it!?!?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Stupidnick, Mar 13, 2003.

  1. Stupidnick


    Mar 22, 2002
    ...my room...
    ok.... im not gonna kill anyone
    but me and my girlfriend were having a discussion.. after she was watching csi tonight..

    okay.. so how would you kill someone??!

    I would. kill them without them looking.. and give them a proper burial. She says "well dude you dont have any respect for them, you killed them, why would you give them a proper burial."
    I said "well, cause.. they would prolly want it that way."
    I would even give them flowers and steal a big concerete lawn gnome and use it as a grave marker!

    ...am i really morbid or am i just alone or what!??!

  2. I'd send 'em a copy of Kenny G's greatest hits.

    (Oh, that was nasty. Apologies to Jo.)
  3. Stupidnick


    Mar 22, 2002
    ...my room...

    How bout "Yannis Greatest Hits" ???!!?
  4. PollyBass

    PollyBass ******

    Jun 25, 2001
    Shreveport, LA
    A needle full of air. Seems real scary that can kill someone. right up to your brain , than POP. dead as a doornail.
  5. Freeze a banana, stab someone with it. Eat the banana.

    Jam their nose up into their head.

    The Kenny G thing would work, too.
  6. jade


    Mar 8, 2002
    if i hated them then i'd burn them and then leave them to decompose. burning is said to be the worse way to die
  7. Chris Fitzgerald

    Chris Fitzgerald Student of Life Staff Member Administrator

    Oct 19, 2000
    Louisville, KY

    I'd turn their brains to jelly with a slow but steady barrage of unbelievably lame OT threads, then add some peanut butter and make a sandwich.

    I'd also have Fava beans. LOTS of Fava beans.
  8. Well from what I've read, for every ten yards between you and the guy you kill, the effort the cops have to put in to catch you increases by 20%...

    ...and this baby has over 1000 yards of range :)

  9. well, when i was in therapy for my childhood sexual abuse i came up with some ideas. i did not know i had it in me until my therapist asked me to describe how angry and hurt i was. what would i do if they were standing there at that moment. sigh. morbid person i turned into. lol. i am indian and would have been great in the old days.
    stake them, skin them alive inch by inch. i would castrate them. i would take lemon juice, salt, alcohol and pour it on them. i would leave them to bake in the sun, however, keep them alive until all my revenge and anger were spent, then scalp the bas####s, and let them slowly die.
    thank god i am not like that and i do not have that kind of anger in me anymore. :D :meh:
  10. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    It depends on my reasoning... if I had to for no reason, but I HAD to... I'd be humane... bullet to the head when they weren't expecting it. If they did something terrible to my family or anyone I loved... I won't get into REAL details. Sometimes, when I was depressed, I'd get really violent. And I thought, if anyone ever did anything to my family, they'd better pray that the cops get them before I do. Because... if you read my other thread... my family more or less keeps me alive sometimes.

    Torture method #1... this is the only one I'll list just to show how I'd get the party started. I'd create a sandwich of sorts. Except, the bread would be bricks... and inside... if it was a guy... would be his... boys... and the top slice of bread would be thrown on instead of placed.

    If your a guy... I apologize for having to have you think about that.
  11. I'd drop a piano on his head.
  12. jasonbraatz


    Oct 18, 2000
    Oakland, CA
    construct a gun with a bullet made of super hard packed ice.

    any evidence left behind would melt.

    of course, if you were found to have said ice shooting gun.... :meh:
  13. moley


    Sep 5, 2002
    Hampshire, UK
    I would bomb their country.
  14. I'd get Bruce Lindfield to talk them to death with his 'fascinating' knowledge of the gerundive.
  15. You win.

    Hmm i would "beat them to death with their own shoes...."


  16. Well, if from a very cynical point of view, and the likliehood of getting caught for murder being on the high side.....history has shown the best way is to get drunkish and knock them down with a car!

    You may lose your license for a while, but that's about it!

    Now, if it was to kill someone without thought for the consequences - depends on why I was killing them. If it was impersonal, then a shot to the 'kill traingle' in the front of the face - bullet severes cerebral cortex, game over.

    If it was personal, and they'd crossed me......well, decorum and forum rules prohibit me from listing the details here:eek:
  17. I work for a 3 letter agency.

    We'll be watching all of you at this thread very closely from now on. :D

    Secret Agent Man :p
  18. deadweeds


    Oct 28, 2002
    Harbor Beach,MI
    I'd just tell them to read some of the threads here in Off Topic......:p
  19. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga

    :D ;)
  20. Bard2dbone


    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    I'm kind of afraid to answer on this type of subject.

    One of the wierd side effects of being a paramedic is that I know way more than the average person needs to know about how a lot of people leave this world.

    But I do like George Carlins solution. Find TWO people you hate, pick up the smaller one and beat the other to death with his body. They are both out of you hair, and there is no murder weapon. When the police get there it looks like a REALLY high speed pedestrian accident. " Wow, Sarge, these guys must have been running pretty fast!"

    Insulin is a winner, too.

Share This Page