1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  
    TalkBass.com has been uniting the low end since 1998.  Join us! :)

I'm at that weird point in my dating career

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by powderfinger, Feb 26, 2014.

  1. powderfinger


    Feb 24, 2009
    I'm 41. I've never been married. No kids. I'm ok with that.

    However, I've typically always had a semi-healthy dating life, with a number of decent, quality women. However, the older I get the more I realize that the dating pool has all but evaporated. I feel like every woman I meet or encounter is taken.

    This can be at the gym. With mutual friends. At a club. Anywhere I go I feel like any woman I make acquantaince with his married or has a boyfriend (usually married).

    I am not interested in dating girls half my age. I've had the option, but I don't have anything in common with girls in their 20s, at least the ones I've met.

    So let's rephrase this..

    The dating pool of available women in my age range has evaoporated.

    I know it's a natural part of life (apparently) to couple up, but dammit, the last 2 girls Ive been really attracted to were taken, so I didnt move in on them (one is my scum friend's gf). I'm not about to be "the other man" for any woman.

    So yeah, what the hell does a middle age man, still in shape and fairly attractive do to meet a woman similar age? Who isn't MARRIED!
  2. tastybasslines

    tastybasslines Banned

    May 9, 2010
    Los Angeles, CA
    Match.com ?
  3. Tat2dHeart

    Tat2dHeart Only two strings away from an attitude problem.

    Change your criteria and start dating outside your type.

    I'm a chick in the same boat - all the decent guys who aren't tw@tw@ffles are taken. I relocated, which has helped a little, but it also created a whole new set of issues with which to deal.

    EDIT: I didn't relocate simply for dating reasons. It was a work relocation.
  4. buzzbass

    buzzbass Shoo Shoo Retarded Flu ! Supporting Member

    Apr 23, 2003
  5. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    That's how I met my wife.

    I was almost the age of the OP.
  6. powderfinger


    Feb 24, 2009
    Ok, well.... seems like internet dating might be my next option!
  7. powderfinger


    Feb 24, 2009
    My only criteria is single, over 30, and no criminal record at this point.
  8. Selta


    Feb 6, 2002
    Pacific Northwet
    Total fanboi of: Fractal Audio, AudiKinesis Cabs, Dingwall basses
    Why get hung up about dating? Are you co-dependent?
  9. Tat2dHeart

    Tat2dHeart Only two strings away from an attitude problem.

    Then you're likely in a better boat than all those guys out there stuck in a type and trying to violate the laws of nature.
  10. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Put a lot of effort into the interview process.

    I met a very cute schoolteacher in Wisconsin, and our correspondence was very promising. We started talking on the phone, and she brought up her ex one time too many.

    I said, "I have lost interest, and am going to cut this off right here. You are not over your ex."

    Then I met my wife.

    If I hadn't been more careful, I could still be listening to that crap, 13 years later!
  11. Richland123


    Apr 17, 2009
    I'm with you on this but it's even worse for me. I'm 57 years old. My kids are grown ups now and doing their own things and I have time to meet women. I just can't find the right one.

    Most of the women I meet don't just have baggage, they have a whole set of luggage.

    Women think I am in my mid 40s but anybody in that age group is still raising their kids and doing things with them and don't have time to date much. I get tired of all the stuff that goes along with dating and anybody of interest lives far away. The last woman I dated for awhile was a wonderful person but she lived a 4 hour drive away, which made it difficult to be together often with work and other things.
  12. powderfinger


    Feb 24, 2009
    Um, to have someone to hang out with? Same reason anyone would be interested in dating? Doesn't make you co-dependent... geez...
  13. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    I'm confused by "questions about girls" outside of scheduled summer vacation months.
  14. NWB


    Apr 30, 2008
    Kirkland, WA
    Maybe date a female cop?;)
  15. Richland123


    Apr 17, 2009
    And breathing :rolleyes:
  16. 6jase5

    6jase5 Mammogram is down but I'm working manually Supporting Member

    Dec 17, 2007
    San Diego/LA
  17. UncleFluffy


    Mar 8, 2009
    Head Tinkerer, The Flufflab
  18. BBox Bass

    BBox Bass Supporting Member

    Apr 2, 2011
    NW Pennsylvania
    If you haven't already done so, consider taking a step back and having an honest conversation with yourself about your wants and needs. Do you actually want a partner, or do you feel obligated to locate one due to perceived cultural and social expectations that everyone should "couple up", as you said?

    I'm 42, never married, and childfree. For years I felt like I should be looking for a husband and wanting kids because everyone else was. However, I was never comfortable in relationships, kids make me nervous, and I eventually came to the conclusion that I just prefer other people in small doses. If mainstream society thinks that's weird, so be it. I like my job, I have a few friends (and those with benefits, if I want them) and there's always music. As far as I'm concerned, it's all good.
  19. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    That's not where I was trying to go with it, but I'm pleased that's where you took it.:p
  20. Marial

    Marial weapons-grade plum

    Apr 8, 2011
    Same here. I am the OP's age, though younger when I met my wife. We're now expected our first kid in April. :hyper:

    Match worked out well for us.