I'm Bummed

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by IvanMike, Nov 28, 2004.

  1. IvanMike

    IvanMike Player Characters fear me... Staff Member Supporting Member

    Nov 10, 2002
    Middletown CT, USA
    Maybe some of you have noticed that I've been posting a lot lately. I've had a lot of free time, much to my dismay. To make a long story short, for the past 18 years I've worked with persons with mental retardation, and although I work with all functioning levels, the house to which I am currently assigned is a locked forensic unit. Allegations of abuse or neglect by these "clients" are fairly frequent, and all of us have been on administrative leave at one time or another. Currently I am on my 10th week of A.L. for some pretty serious (untrue) allegations. We do get paid for straight time during investigations, but half of my income is from overtime.

    Without going into all of the gory details I'm concerned because this is a heck of a long time to be out, and there is a real possibility i could get fired for something I didn't do. There is a chance of getting the job back, but that is a lengthy process with legal fees. Additionally, my child support and alimony is quite high, and my own bills have been racking up. I really can't get a job during my normal working hours, (I'm supposed to be available) and finding any sort of work with no idea of how long I'll be available is a bit difficult. Another concern is that I have a pretty high income, and with no other experience I wouldn't be able to come anywhere near to replacing it. Not that I live lavishly, the cost of living in CT is high, I'm already living on "oodles of noodles" and contemplating bankruptcy.

    I've already sold quite a bit of gear, (Eden WT-400 still available - :D ), but I'm getting close to the bare bones setup i need to keep gigging, (which is an income source for me).

    Needless to say I've been getting pretty depressed, and the antidepressants i take normally aren't cutting it, (I see the shrink tomorrow).

    I guess I never expected to be in such dire straits at 36. Sorry if this sounded too much like crying or an attention getting "sob story", that's not my intent. Just venting i guess. :meh:
  2. Toasted


    May 26, 2003
    Leeds, UK
    Hey Mike;

    My mom is a teacher and she has to deal with these untrue allegations aswell. I know how crap it is. I cant really say anything other than I hope it works out for you and your job comes back real soon.

    Good Luck.

  3. LajoieT

    LajoieT I won't let your shadow be my shade...

    Oct 7, 2003
    Western Massachusetts
    Hey Mike, Sorry to hear about all your troubles. It sucks to be hanging in the ballance like that. It's also been talked about a lot in public news lately about the sad state of affairs that have happened these days where the unsubstantiated allegations can ruin a person's reputation (and life). In the end out society is going to have to find a way to deal with these things in a way that is fair to the accused as well as the accuser. As it stands now, the accusation is enough to destroy a person (publicly and privately) often with no consequenses to the accuser when their ruse is uncovered. Keep your chin up and your eyes open and hopefully something will work out.
  4. Hey IvanMike,

    Sorry to hear that things are difficult right now. I've been through other types of tough times (loss of job, divorce,dad dying, selling my gear and moving) Sounds like what your going through is hell and I sympathise with you brother.

    Just try to step back, take a deep breath, and focus on what you have good. Even if things don't work out at your present job, something will come along, it always does.

    Nothing wrong with feeling sad and dismayed with your situation....it's how you feel. You'll get through. Nothing wrong with bankruptcy if you have to , don't feel any shame about it. No shame in having a bad situation at 36. Feel the sadness, but don't let yourself get caught in the whole shame (I'm a bad person ) game. Our mothers have that department monopolized :D

    Talk to your shrink, talk to your family and freinds, post up here, and play some great music!
  5. Hi IvanMike,

    Sorry life is kinda going to hell in a handbasket for ya. Bad times are hard to take.... in the last 10 years, I've been through two separations from girls I truly loved, and in the past 3 years - 2 layoffs from my day jobs. I understand and I feel for ya.

    No one can make it better, or offer the golden advice. It just takes time to work out.

    1) Keep yourself busy
    2) And stick close to friends and family

    These are healthy ways to distract your mind from being down and depressed. May good times and better days return soon.

  6. KeithPas


    May 16, 2000
    Hang in there and feel free to post on TB anytime about your situation. I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time. I hope that you are vindicated and that your good name as well as your job are restored as quickly as possible.
  7. Dan1099

    Dan1099 Dumbing My Process Down

    Aug 7, 2004
    A similar situation happened to a kid at my highschool. Not exactly the same, but similar enough. A girl accused him of raping her at a party, and he was expelled from school, fired, and kicked out of his parents house. A month later or so, one of the girls friends came forward with a confession that it was a plot to get back at him for breaking up with her, and that it was indeed consensual sex. He was admitted back into our school, but til the day we graduated, was constantly called a rapist, and IIRC, never really had any more sucessful relationships. She, however, merely changed schools, never got in trouble, or anything. Thats messed up. She sould have gone to jail for that...he almost did.

    Anyway, any idea how much longer you have? Keep your chin up, and your head clear, and itll all be alright in the long run. In the mean time, at least you've got your music to get you through.
  8. IvanMike

    IvanMike Player Characters fear me... Staff Member Supporting Member

    Nov 10, 2002
    Middletown CT, USA
    no clue about how much longer i have until a descision of some kind is reached. That's been part of the aggrivation and what has been making it difficult looking for temp work. I get the "we'll know in two days, next week, tommorow, maybe monday" three times a week from them. As it is a state job, there is no way to hurry the process, beaurocracy runs the show.
  9. Don't_Fret

    Don't_Fret Justin Schornstein

    Dec 10, 2003
    East Coast, US

    That's insane, Dan. Sad thing is how young these kids are.
  10. Dan1099

    Dan1099 Dumbing My Process Down

    Aug 7, 2004
    Freshmen at the time.
  11. smperry

    smperry Moderator Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Nov 3, 2003
    Bay Area, CA
    Endorsing Artist: Martin Keith Guitars
    Sent you a PM IvanMike. You'll get through this difficult time.

    Hang in there,
  12. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    Dude man......you aren't whining, that's some heavy stuff to carry on your shoulders alone.

    Keep hanging around TB bro. Times like this are when you can see the real value of being a part of the TB community.

    I hope it all works out for you. Keep us updated.

  13. IvanMike

    IvanMike Player Characters fear me... Staff Member Supporting Member

    Nov 10, 2002
    Middletown CT, USA
    shrink upped my meds and offered condolances - we'll see how that does - he's actually top notch, a great guy

    work still hasnt returned my calls today

    thanks for all the encouragement
  14. IvanMike

    IvanMike Player Characters fear me... Staff Member Supporting Member

    Nov 10, 2002
    Middletown CT, USA
    wonderful news - they're talking dismissal (as in getting fired) :rolleyes:
    so i get to meet with them on monday
    how exciting...........
  15. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    Take a lawyer. At the very least take a tape recorder.

    brad cook
  16. Bad situation all around man...do you know any lawyers? This just reeks of wrongful termination.
  17. IvanMike

    IvanMike Player Characters fear me... Staff Member Supporting Member

    Nov 10, 2002
    Middletown CT, USA
    Well, just an FYI. I did in fact get fired a week ago. No amount of union involvement was able to stop that despit having an 18 year career there. At this point the union is fairly optimistic that i can get my job back, but they say that will take from 6 - 24 months. I can use a lawyer if i want, but the union will back out permanently if i do, and all of the people i consulted who went thru similar situations with our employer had best results using the union.

    In any event, at 36 i find myself an unskilled laborer blackballed from my field, with 500 a week in child support and alimony due a week. Looks like i sell as much stuff as i can while retaining a bare bones rig, file for bankruptcy, and probably move in with relatives. Oh joy. :meh:
  18. Sorry to hear that man...good luck with your future :meh:
  19. Mike Money

    Mike Money Banned

    Mar 18, 2003
    Bakersfield California
    Avatar Speakers Endorsing Hooligan
    I never understood Alimony... Child support, hell ya... alimony? its "Hi, i'm a bitchy ex wife who doesn't wanna work to hard" syndrome... my mom has it. stupid women.

    If you are experienced in working with the mentally impaired, im sure local schools would have a job for you...
  20. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    If the allegations are untrue, and you had sufficent evidence to prove it, I would personally sue the allegor for defamation and slander and sue the employer for unfair dismissal.

    I would also consider joining the union if they did an inadequate job of sticking up for you.

    Talk to a lawyer, the first consult is usually free.