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i'm going to give the band an ultimatum

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Icey101, Jun 14, 2012.

  1. i'm tired of the leader cancelling reheasals because he is busy, i am tired of the lead guitarist not coming along to rehearsals because he is busy and they are both mates, the drummer has no car and cant drive and needs to be picked up....the whole thing is floundering

    so i am going to send the leader an ultimatum sms, like this...hey guys i am about to move forward musically, please do not include me in any more emails, you guys are in charge, come and get me when you need me but give me enough notice to ensure i am free for gigs and rehearsals etc, i wont be contributing to any costs in the band like recording and will not use any of the bands ip for my own use.... this way i cut myself loose of all the the bs going on and go and work some more bands...and if they want to stay in touch they can

    what do you think guys?
  2. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Retired Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Fairly lame. Quit or don't quit.
  3. thought of that but i still want to stay in touch in case i need one of them for a project in the future....
  4. BKuettel


    Apr 8, 2011
    Oneonta, NY

    It's like a nasty scab. Just rip it off.
  5. levis76

    levis76 Defender of the Low Ender

    Apr 14, 2007
    Metro Detroit
    IMHO, the OP is doing the right thing. Don't burn bridges if you don't have to. Besides, if these guys are that flaky, they won't care anyways and if they do and decide you have to be in their band and only their band, well at least they've made that decision easy for you.
  6. And if you're going to quit do it in person or at the least with a phone call - don't text it.
  7. Fire them, but don't tell them. :)
  8. Zooberwerx

    Zooberwerx Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2002
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Yeah, right...I'm sure they'll be really dependable.

  9. +1

    If they're flaky now, they'll be flaky 5 years from now.

    If by some chance one (or all) of them pull their act together they'll remember that you're a dedicated player and they'll look you up.

    Move on. Cut the cord but don't use a chainsaw.
  10. The second paragraph of your post is too wordy and indirect. It is the kind of thing they will have to think about and interperet to get the meaning. Which means they will probably mis-interperet it. I also don't understand how this is an ultimatum. There is no "do this or i will do that" statement.

    The first paragraph is what you want to tell them. It actually adresses the issue directly.

    Drummers should not only be able to drive, they should also own a vehicle large enough to haul a drumset.

    It really sounds like this is a door that you want to close behind you. Don't be rude, but be truthful, and don't look back.
  11. ^ Yes....This!
  12. FenderBassist


    Oct 28, 2005
    In your specific situation, it sounds like a good idea to me.

    I'm doing something similar, had to choose between situations and the one where no improvement was shown is getting the notice.
  13. FenderBassist


    Oct 28, 2005
    Actually, a good assessment.
  14. I agree with the "flakey" comments. Your SMS is a copout. What the hell is "notice to make rehearsal"? It's just a nother maybe it will happen, maybe it wont happen rehearsal.

    The problem is them not taking rehearsal commitments seriously.

    I think you should lay it out that the band needs a set rehearsal time each week and give them your availablity. If the other guys can commit to a weekly rehearsal slot you will make progress. If they flake out on that then quit.
  15. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Retired Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Ahhh. Possessing one's confectionary and consuming it as well.
  16. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    Masks, people, masks!
    Song Surgeon slow downer.
    FYI: you're not in a band....:rollno:

    I wouldn't worry about sending any threats...nothing will change and it will create bad feelings. Don't burn any bridges if you don't have to.

    I suggest something like: Since everyone is having trouble making rehearsal due to your busy schedules, for the next rehearsal, let me know a week ahead and then please call me when everyone is at the garage (or wherever) and I'll come right over.

    If it doesn't happen, then you can let them know, based on the continuing scheduling problems that you're moving on and if they can get their schedules worked out to give you a call and you'll gladly be a paid sub for them.
  17. Nev375


    Nov 2, 2010
    What you are proposing is not an ultimatum.

    An ultimatum is "I quit unless my demands are met" and is rarely effective.

    What you seem to be trying to do is quit but leave the door open for yourself in case they change their ways as a result of you quitting.

    That doesn't work like that. You don't get to maintain any control of your position once you back out. If you quit, do it cleanly and professionally so that if they change, they might consider giving you a call.

    I would say. "Guys, I like this band, but I just think we are not in a position to make progress. I need to explore a different opportunity that is coming up. For the time being, I think you need to hire a different bassist and bring him up to speed. Let me know if I can be of any help with that."

    That is.... if you are sincere about wanting to maintain friendship with the band. If you don't want to commit to anything, just plain quit. Keep it simple, short and sweet and let the chips fall where they may.
  18. lowfreq33


    Jan 27, 2010
    Endorsing Artist: Genz Benz Amplification
    You should just move on. They're not serious, maybe you should just cut the cord and find some people who are on the same page as you.
  19. The problem with this is OP has to block out his Saturday afternoon, or whatever is the date, for the maybe rehearsal just in case. He's not much further ahead.

    The other thing is this makes him out to be the primadonna "my time is more valuable than yours" guy, hardly very matey.
  20. winndaddy


    Feb 9, 2011
    Good advice!! I might use it as a way out of my band pretty soon.

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