I'm gutted....

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Rockin John, Jul 14, 2003.

  1. I'm gutted. My lad's decided he's had enough of drumming and wants to quit.

    We went for his lesson last Saturday and spent it all talking to his tutor looking for ways to continue his lessons. But my lad didn't want to, so we've quit.

    It's easy to talk-up our childrens' achievments, isn't it? But I'm not. His tutor said he wanted us to know a couple of things before we left the shop: that my lad was one of the best young talents that had ever passed through their hands; that, with practice and application, he would expect my lad to become a top professional drummer: that, as a professional drummer himself and a teacher, he's only come across 2 or 3 students with similar abilities at a similar age.

    My lad is just 8 years old. But he plays to a standard of the 'average' 12 / 13 year old including, to the astonisnment of his tutor, being proficient at the double bass pedal!

    Although the writing has been on the wall I was still gutted. We always said we'd never force him into it and we've kept to our word.

    We all hope he'll take it up again when he's a bit older so we're putting he gear into storage.

    :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl:

  2. moley


    Sep 5, 2002
    Hampshire, UK
    Sorry to hear that John! Heartbreaking, isn't it?

    Still, maybe drums aren't his instrument? Maybe he'd prefer... Bass! :D
  3. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Portland, OR
    Say it ain't so, Doc!

    Good drummers are hard to find. Does he want to stop lessons, or drumming?

    If it's lessons, I'd say wait a bit. He's 8 years old, some things might seem more important. If he want's to quit drumming... well, don't let him.
  4. JMX

    JMX Vorsprung durch Technik

    Sep 4, 2000
    Cologne, Germany
    Well you said it, he's only 8.
    Maybe he just needs a time out.
    You can try to lure him back into it after a while, e.g. take hime to concerts or drum workshops.
    Don't be too pushy, just present situations can spark his interest again.
    but even if he doesn't take it up again until he's 12 or 13, he'll still have a headstart because he learned the basic motor skills at such a young age.
  5. Hi-a Moley, how's business?

    He's always asking me to give him my Yamaha fretless:eek:

    But I mean, wadda you do? What an absolute crying shame.

    I did wonder whether the lessons just weren't fun, and that's a big part of it. Don't know much about teaching kids but it's not difficult to see that a kid might get turned off by running over technique week in week out.


  6. At the moment, Brendan, both.

    There are all sorts of peripheral things going on, too. Eg. Setting up and taking down a drum kit is a hell of a business (house = too small = no room). Interest in soccer and that American wrestling that the kids are into these days. Etc.

    He stood in for us on a gig some while back: did a great job. He was just 7 then.

    JMX, I think you're speaking wisely. We're just going to let it roll and see how it turns out.

  7. Brendan


    Jun 18, 2000
    Portland, OR
    I'm with JMX. If he's that talented, I'd imagine he'll go back to drums. He's 8 fer crying out loud. I started piano when I was 9 for two years, then music didn't enter my life.

    I picked back up on music when I was 13. So, yeah, I'd just give the wee one a break.
  8. moley


    Sep 5, 2002
    Hampshire, UK
    New teacher maybe?
  9. Fair goes.

    I'm just sort-a torn about him wasting a talent. But I do feel that pushing him would only serve to turn him away, perhaps forever.

    When he's 11 he'll go to a school that has 'art college' status: they're big on music as you'd imagine. I wouldn't be surprised to find him asking for his kit in a year or so's time. And he might even fancy lessons again.

    Thing is, I could understand a kid getting bored with (say) recorder playing, violin, etc, but drumminmg in a rock band?

    Still, I'm not 8 and I can't understand how he thinks. Might just have a word with his teacher, too, for some advice: just to discover some of the psychology of kids his age.


  10. JMX

    JMX Vorsprung durch Technik

    Sep 4, 2000
    Cologne, Germany
    Maybe there's something else behind this?
    Did anything else change lately - at school etc.?
    I know you can overinterprete psych stuff with children but who knows...
  11. Indeed that's sad, but as others have said he's only 8. And it'll be easier for him to relearn these skills than learning for the first time!

    You might find that given a couple of months off he'll miss it.

    No point pushing him though, just have to wait and see what happens.

    Still, I agree with you, it's a crying shame...
  12. ldiezman


    Jul 11, 2001
    you know when I was younger I hated to sing... I absolutely hated it... my parents tried to get me to do it, but I wouldn't have any of it.... now I'm an opera singer and I seem to be doing somewhat well....

    So just give your kid a few years, the talent won't go away
  13. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta (Grant Park!)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    On the bright side, Mark King quit the drums! Let the lad noodle on the fretless. He may take to it.
  14. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    For what it's worth...

    I stopped playing and taking lessons even though I was told I was quite good (I played the clarinette) and many tried to get me to go back to the classes. Now I regret that this happened, and I have been wondering quite a bit why. I think I have come to three main reasons:

    - I did not get to play any music I could relate to, practice was no fun. I wish I had been playing in more group settings.
    - I did not like my teacher (was a bit scared of him actually)
    - Other interests took over (this happened to me when I was a bit older, girls and mopeds and stuff).

    In short I had no real fun playing, I think I did it mostly because my parents encouraged me (no pressure though) and said I was good at it. I know my friends had no interest in it whatsoever.

    You're kid is young, so maybe he just needs to have time to explore other things. If you can, why not keep the drums set up so he can fool around with them without any pressure if and when he feels like it?
  15. Stepping back a bit on this one, I think there's probably a few things behind it. But mainly that he's only 8 and he's starting to explore the world.

    The teaching thing is also probably part of it. The tutor is a young guy and is excellent. But I'm not altogether certain that he 'in tune' with the needs of kids. It's one thing to get adults doing technique each lesson, but quite another with kids. I have thought before that the tutor needed to know how to teach kids and even suggested things from experience gained via my lad's school. But nothing came of it. To be fair to him, he always said he did what he did cos he knew my lad could handle it. And he always did.

    Any pianists here will say how much they hated their scales: I think there are parallels to my lad's drumming.

    The other angle is the written music. The tutor always wrote the patterns down, and that's right. But there's such pressure on that agegroup with our educational system that I reckon my lad rebelled a bit on the grounds that, to him, it was just more schooling.

    He could not have had much fun at all @ lessons. :bawl: and maybe that's it.

  16. moley


    Sep 5, 2002
    Hampshire, UK
    You will live to regret admitting that, Anders :D
  17. fastplant


    Sep 26, 2002
    First, am I the only one who's never heard the phrase "I'm gutted?"

    Second, I played guitar for a few years when I was aournd 9-10, somewhere around there and even though I was told I was talented, I quit because I wanted to do the things my other friends were doing, none of them had to practice.

    Well, only maybe 5 years later, I started back up again and haven't stopped since, well except that I now play bass. The point here is that I'm sure he just wants a break. Once he gets a little older I'm sure he'll get back into it. I had the biggest drive in the world to start playing again in high school because I already learned so much when I was younger that I didn't have to start from scratch.
  18. wulf


    Apr 11, 2002
    Oxford, UK
    Probably... although I can only really speak for its widespread usage in the UK. It's a more visceral way of saying "I'm heartbroken"...

  19. fastplant


    Sep 26, 2002
    I figured it was something like that. I'm not very cultured.
  20. FretNoMore

    FretNoMore * Cooking with GAS *

    Jan 25, 2002
    The frozen north
    Well, I think I already have, in some other thread, but I think you may be right all the same. :)

    Could it be that playing the clarinette had something to do with me quitting music...

    ...NAH! :p

    To Rockin John; give your kid a loaner bass, or any instrument he likes to try, or something computer based, just to keep him into music. I think I was scared away from music by various types of pressure (be it self-induced or not) and really regret the lost years until I got the urge again later in life. I think I could have been really good at music and now it feels like it's too late.