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Inspired by Mike Money (and also Calvin and Hobbes)

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by FireBug, Dec 11, 2005.

  1. FireBug


    Sep 18, 2005
    This post is inspire by Mike's thread here:http://www.talkbass.com/forum/showthread.php?t=217300&page=1&pp=20

    I remember in 7th grade I had a really nutty English teacher. She was living in some sort of fairly land and would go off on completely un-related tangents during the middle of class.

    Before we go any further, let me say that I am a huge Bill Watterson/Calvin and Hobbes fan.

    It was one of those situations where the class gets quiet as soon as you make a joke to your buddy. My teacher had gone off on some tangent again and said "I wish I could go to the moon..."

    At which point I turned to my buddy and said, "I wish she could too." Of course, the class erupted with laughter and the teacher was humiliated. I felt kind of bad that she heard it, but that was justified when I got a conduct on my report card.

    Ok, now that you've read my pointless contribution to this community, you can go back to your normal lives.
  2. The funniest thing ive ever seen happen was also in an english class, we were sitting talking and the teacher pointed at us and told us to be quiet, she went back to talking to the rest of the class while still having her hand hovering infront of us, and my mate who was sitting next to me started stroking her had, the look of shock was priceless :)
  3. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    I used to have this Chemistry teacher in high school who was real geeky. I liked him though...but I got away with murder in that class. Every day was playday. I don't remember all the stuff. I'd do things like one time I pretended I was really pissed off at something he did and said "I'm taking this to the office!" and then I walked out and slammed the door. Then he came out the door a few seconds later and looked down the hall towards the office, however I was hiding right behind the door in the direction he wasn't looking and I jumped out and scared him. I also had two good friends in there who were african-american. This one girl and I were constantly joking around. One day we started making race-related comments to each other and acted like we were getting into this big racial argument and the teacher just about freaked out and had no idea that we were joking. We kept escalating it until I felt like he was on the verge of sending me to the office.

    I had an economics teacher who'd kick me out of class for my comments (which everyone usually laughed at). Then once out of class I'd go hang out with "the cool teacher." Then I'd show back up at the end of class out in the hallway. I actually regret my behavior towards that teacher because we didn't get along at all and in the end my comments became the spiteful comments of an immature teenager. She wasn't a good teacher but I was a total jerk to her.

    In sixth grade once my math teacher said "You're getting on my nerves." and I responded with "Then you better take your nerve medicine." She did NOT appreciate that. More often than not though the teachers would find my comments funny. It's the ones that didn't who I had problems with.

    Careful what you say kids. Even as a teacher I realize it's funt o get under a teacher's skin a little and make people laugh but don't get mean like I did with that teacher. You may regret it. Meh...that's all I've got.

    brad cook
  4. Ohhh, chemistry teachers, i had the most psychotic one ever, he spent most of the classes at the back with an old radio sending morse code to ppl, one time he managed to not seal a container properly, and flooded the room with chlorine gas.

    When i was in chemistry the following year, my old chemisty teacher came in asking our other chemistry teacher where to get another hyrodgen canister, as he had just finished the one he had, to which my other chemistry teacher looked on in shock and told him that they hadnt been allowed in schools for the last 15 years

    Also had a great biology teacher, he had a son in the year below me, and he left his familiy for a girl in the year below me (ie, same age as his son), they are now living together and she's pregnant
  5. cheezewiz

    cheezewiz Supporting Member

    Mar 27, 2002
    Hmmm...High School Chemistry. My Chem teacher was a burnt out nun. She wasn't quite all there anymore, and was very serious in her beliefs that some of us were in league with the devil. Of course, all the purposely evil laughs coming from the back of the classroom probably didn't help.

    The most trouble I ever got into in that class started off innocently enough. I dropped and broke a test tube one day. Now being in an underfunded Catholic school, we had to pay for what we broke. Sister Mary Elephant said to me, "That will be a quarter sir". I went up to the front of the class where she was at, took a dollar out of my pocket, and handed it to her. She said "Sir, I don't have change", to which I replied, "That's OK sister". I proceeded to the back section of the classroom where the lab was, picked up three more test tubes and dropped them, and said "We're all even now Sister". Needless to say, I spent the rest of the week in the office rather than in chem class.

    MAJOR METAL The Beagle Father Staff Member Supporting Member

    Bio for me !
  7. haujobb


    Dec 16, 2004
    For my college program, we have to take Workplace Health and Safety training, even though it is the worst course ever. A couple of weeks ago I'm sitting in this class and no one is paying attention so the teacher says "If you guys know this material for test time you are all going to be toast". Just then, two kids who were listening to music happen to take they're headphones off. The first one is lie "sweet, I love toast!" Then the other says "do we get jam?" That pissed the teacher right off and we all got kicked out.

    Also, in grade 10, my english teacher was fighting with a student about a question, eventually he gets her to the point where she can't come up with a argument and he says "Yeah that's right, checkmate." After that, everytime somebody proved her wrong he said checkmate.
  8. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca
    these are all very funny. 'specially cheeze's. :D

    i got along with most of my teachers, but there were some who weren't used to handling smart students who really ticked me off.

    in 8th grade, we had a reading teacher who was outside of the gifted team. (anyone else have the "team" system? lol.) we all hated her... the only funny-ish anecdote i have is that we had a spelling bee one day for some reason, and my friend started spelling "aristocats" instead of the word he was given. that p'd her off.

    i do recall calling her a troll, but only to my friends.

    in high school, i had a teacher for world history. one of my favorite subjects in middle school, yet this guy nearly managed to ruin it. we had assignments that were so poorly engineered that we were able to get them done in five minutes and then talk for the rest of the period. one time, ...i forget what prompted it... he said that japan wasn't an archipelago. i said, "japan is an archipelago. in fact, it's usually the first example a textbook lists for archipelagos." (something similar--this was four years ago). he said he didn't think so... a quick check with our textbook proved me right.

    for the rest of year, my friend kept on saying "archipelago" to him every so often. :D

    same teacher: i wanted his letter of rec for something, cuz i thought that it might be worth something, as he was in local politics. he said yes. a week or so later, i asked him if he'd worked on it. "well, look, i'm pretty busy, so could you just write it, and then i'll sign it."

    so i did that.

    several months pass, and he stops me in the hallway and tells me that a student complained to the school board that he was an awful teacher. (which is very, very true.) he asks me if i could return his "favor" by writing a letter to the schoolboard in his defense. i agree.

    a week or two later, he asks me if i worked on it. i responded with, "well, look, i'm pretty busy, so could you just write it yourself, and then i'll sign it."

    we didn't talk to each other at all after that. he left the school the next year, and i really have no idea as to what happened to him.
  9. d8g3jdh

    d8g3jdh Guest

    Aug 9, 2005
    my art teach in grade 9 used to have to leave the room every now and then because he kept having acid flashbacks. good class

    Half the people (including me) in my gr 10 woodshop class did nothing but make pipes all class, and my teach didnt care. good class

    my gr 11 english teacher (nice, good teacher) once went off on a bit of a tangent, and ended it by saying "Somedays I just wish that a sniper would appear on that roof (there was a window opposite her desk, and you could see the roof from it) and put a bullet right between my eyes!!!" Then she just kinda paused for a second, and said "Did i just say that out loud? Noone tell this to your parents!" We all cracked up at the time, but to this day im not sure if she was serious at the time. good class.

    Good times...
  10. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA

    Now that I've got your attention, I'm going to tell you the worst teacher related story ever... luckily it happened to my friends and not me!!

    Alright, Math class, these two friends of mine who hate each other, but pretend to like each other to keep the peace. Anyways, right next to each other, one to the right, one to the left, a row in the middle (seperate desks). Anyways, the teacher walks down the row between the two guys and stops to help a girl on her assignment... lets note that I said ASSignment.

    So the teacher is bent over with his butt right between these two guys, the guy on the left decides to joke around with his hand hovering inches from the teachers but and makes faces like he's really enjoying himself. Friend number two SMACKS HIS HAND FORWARD! So friend one has official smacked the teacher's butt.

    Here's the best part, the teacher turned around and didn't know who to blame, SO HE SMACKED BOTH OF THEM RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE!!! Bwahahahahhahah. The story still cracks me up.
  11. Matt, that story is ace, altho it does sound like it could be taken from some homo-erotic prono :p

    To the note of chemistry teachers, i dont know how i forgot to post this in my other one, one of mine was a manic depressive, yeah, he didnt show up for work one day, they found him washed up on a riverbed a few days later, not cool :scowl:
  12. Eli M.

    Eli M. Life's like a movie, write your own ending

    Jul 24, 2004
    New York, NY
    Okay, here are some teacher stories.

    One of my favorite things to do was to put joke names on things - Pat Butts, etc. In senior year AP English, we were filling out some form that didn't really mean anything, so I wrote Ben Dover (well, it was a worse name than that, but let's say Ben Dover to play it safe with the profanity rules).

    I figured it would end up in the main office and someone would have a little chuckle. But much to my surprise, when we handed them up to the front, the teacher saw it and said "Ben Dover... Eli, you'd better change that." (It was funnier with the name I really wrote, the name of a certain Mr. Hunt).

    I think she knew what she was saying, but didn't realize it would come out funny.

    Later on in the year, in the same class, I had to go out to the bathroom, but she said I had "used up my bathroom trips for the week" (she didn't keep count, but I had gone out so many times to visit friends in the cafeteria and stuff). So I asked a couple of times, and then when she wasn't looking, I took my friend's water bottle, poured it on my crotch, and said I had an accident because I wasn't allowed to leave.

    As I stood there laughing, she said, "I'm not laughing."

    I was so mature in those days, wasn't I?
  13. Emerald_gasH


    Sep 17, 2000
    i used to have this one chemistry teacher in 7th grade who would just let us pretty much do anything...at the end of every year he would have his class bring in flammable stuff and he would try to burn it...sadly i left that school to move to canada RIGHT before the end of the school year :crying: ...

    i also had my grade 12 geometry & discrete teacher constantly go off on rants about the curriculum, he'd also swear...we also ended up dressing him in a fairy suit with wings and taping him to the door for halloween..good times...he was a good teacher even though he hated my brother (and coincidentally liked me)...

    the last crazy prof i had was last year, 1st year microeconomics prof...the man was drunk and wore tattered clothes...he also spent half the class just smiling and asking people if they were okay :meh: ...
  14. FireBug


    Sep 18, 2005
    I remember crumpling up paper into a ball and pouring Elmers glue all over it. We used to throw them across the room and they would stick to the walls and slowly slide down, leaving a sticky white mess all over the walls.

    One time in English class (my junior year) our teacher mispronounced "organism" (can you guess what she said?). She began cracking up with embarrassment and turned red.
  15. lbpark

    lbpark Supporting Member

    Apr 23, 2005
    Mobile, Al.
    Here's a decent story. Senior year AP Biology. It's about the last month in school and we've learned enough material to cover the AP test, so the teacher(best teacher I ever had) decided to let us have an off day and do whatever we wanted.

    Because he had so much interesting stuff in his room, we never left. In fact, we would usually talk with other seniors who skipped class and came to his room or help them fill in their anatomy color books. Those were the days.

    Anyway, we were browsing through some of the crap he had at the back of the room and we found a wad of coiled up mercury the size of a softball. Now, I'm pretty sure that every class has at least one super annoying kid. "That guy" decided it would be a great idea to put this entire mass of mercury directly on a bunsen burner going full blast. For those who don't know, an inch of a sliver of mercury placed over a fire gives off a blinding light that's really painful to see if you're not ready for it.

    So, once someone is able to put on some sunglasses and get close enough to do something about it, the mercury is starting to melt through the table........great.

    But it gets better. "That guy" decided extinguish the burning mercury by blowing on it. Instead of putting it out, he blows the burning mercury directly toward my friend and sets his pants on fire. After hundreds of bio and chemistry labs, that incident is still the dumbest and most dangerous thing I've seen performed in a lab setting, accidentally or intentionally. Needless to say, "that guy" guy didn't do very well on his AP test.
  16. Coutts_is_god

    Coutts_is_god Guest

    Dec 29, 2003
    Windsor, Ont, Canada
    I have a gym teacher. He makes terrible calls on me. When we play sports. Yells and makes fun of me. Then punishes me by making me do alot of push ups. I swear I never do anything.....that bad:D

    We're doing are warm ups and he yells at my two friends to stop talking. He warns them if they do it again PUSH UPS!!!! So of course they keep talking. So he makes me do the push ups. Even tho I wasn't talking and I was arcoss the gym from my two friends.

    One time he made a bad call during floor hockey. I called him out on it. I said "Sir that was a pretty bad call. He clearly tripped him on purpose"
    "Oh yeah" he says "2 mins in the box for you and the score is now 8 to 9". Before the score was 5 to 9 my team.

    I don't think he likes me vary much:D
  17. FireBug


    Sep 18, 2005
    Hah...no more secrecy. We all know it was you, lbpark. ;)

    We had a similar experience in 8th grade ipc. We had some free time after the teacher had been doing experiments with mixing sulfuric acid (the stuff in car betteries) with other fluids.

    Anyway, these two goofballs (none of which were me) decided to pour sulfuric acid into a plastic beaker and boil it on the hotplate. Well, of course the beaker melted, sending a steaming sulfuric acid cloud hovering around the room. Half the class got headaches and the two guys got suspensions.
  18. lbpark

    lbpark Supporting Member

    Apr 23, 2005
    Mobile, Al.
    Hm, IIRC, the guy whose pants were set ablaze did tick me off that day......no more questions! :bag:

  19. My computer apps. Teacher is an ex-opera singer. When she's in a good mood or when she's made the daring risk of drinking regular Mountain Dew instead of her usual diet,she'll sing the lesson and assignments and such.
  20. Ericman197


    Feb 23, 2004
    There were millions of stories from high school, but a recent favorite that I remember due to the other butt slapping post:

    My friends and I, being the weird dudes that we are, enjoyed playing grab ass in the hallways. Tedesco decides he would like to sneak up on Barretti, slap his ass, and give it a nice firm grab. He does. Barretti turns around and it is not Barretti, but Mr. Klepesche, our history teacher. Mr Klepesche just looked shocked, as did Tedesco, and the two parted ways... never to speak of the incident again.