# Is Santa Claus real? TRUTH REVEALED!

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by PeaveyTNT, Dec 10, 2002.

1. ### PeaveyTNTBanned

Jul 21, 2002
USA
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of
living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects
and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only
Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since
Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist
children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million
according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)rate of 3.5
children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at
least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to
west(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This
is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has
1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney,
fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat
whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the
sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8
million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we
know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept),
we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2
million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least
once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh
is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For
purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses
space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional
reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds),
the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably
described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more
than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could
pull TEN TIMES the normal anoint, we cannot do the job with eight, or even
nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even
counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison
- this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short,
they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer
behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.The entire
reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa,
meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater
than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)would be
pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's

2. ### morty25

Santa wont be happy with this, looks like youve been a naughty boy.

You wont get any presents now!!

p.s. nice copy/pasting!!

3. ### PeaveyTNTBanned

Jul 21, 2002
USA
i didnt copy paste... i swear

4. ### kaboom133

Oct 19, 2001
Latrobe PA
1 word, magic!

5. ### arvidgunardi

Mar 18, 2001
Jakarta Indonesia
You've too much theory boy.....

6. ### jazzbo

Aug 25, 2000
San Francisco, CA
Wow, I haven't read this one for years. I'm glad you dug it up. It's hilarious, thanks for posting it.

I do remember first seeing it about 6 or 7 years ago.

8. ### BigWig WillRIP Rock N Roll

Modern Avionics has proven that it is impossible for a bumblebee to be able to fly. In addition, by using the reciprocal properties, you can prove that 10+1= 1.

Also, considering that Santa is well over 300 years old, and he has ELVES to help him out. I think its safe to say that he's obviously developed a Warp-speed drive, or some sort of time-manipulation device.

9. ### lneal

Apr 12, 2002
Lee County, Alabama
That's ELVIS.

10. ### rekesbass

AH-HA!! I knew Elvis was alive!!!

11. ### SecksayGuest

Sep 6, 2002
New York, NY
i know he's real because he's my dad.

12. ### Guss

The only reasonable explanation for all of this is that, Santa, is yoda. Case closed.

13. ### SpankBass

Jan 2, 2001
Orange County, CA.
Some math geeks have too much time on their hands.

"You know you're an engineer if you have no life, and can prove it mathematicly."

14. ### Gunnar ÞórGuest

Sep 23, 2001
Hafnarfjordur, Iceland
LMAO! That's brilliant!

15. ### FretNoMore* Cooking with GAS *

Jan 25, 2002
The frozen north
Sheesh! What problems with deliveries? Has noone seen Time Machine?

16. ### Guss

Not to throw this thread off track, but I can't stand it any longer. What the hell does "G.A.S." stand for?
(I saw it in Ander's usertitle.)

17. ### FretNoMore* Cooking with GAS *

Jan 25, 2002
The frozen north
Gear Acquisition Syndrome

A compulsive disorder that makes you buy nice stuff you see!

18. ### Velkov

Jan 17, 2001
Lansdowne, Ontario
I thought Santa was invented by Coca Cola...

19. ### moley

Sep 5, 2002
Hampshire, UK
I suffer from a very bad case of CD-acquisition syndrome.

20. ### moley

Sep 5, 2002
Hampshire, UK
lol.

And, how many years have they been using that "Holidays are coming..." thing on their commercials? Seems like ages. Every single year, they bring out that music, and the ads vary slightly.