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Is this a real tortloaf?

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by gln1955, Feb 10, 2016.

  1. gln1955

    gln1955 Supporting Member

    Aug 25, 2014
    Ohio, USA
    I saw an offer on Alibaba for a tortloaf that seemed too good to be true. I took a chance and ordered one. This is how it was presented:
    This is what I got:


    I've having some doubts that this is a real tortloaf. Some things about it seem not quite right, but I can't put my finger on it. Maybe some of the experts here can weigh in on this.
  2. fendermademygibson


    Jan 28, 2015
    It's real, just not what you really wanted.

    For starters there is no cut out for the pick-up(s) and the over all shape seems a bit off. Plus the color is all wrong.

    So yeah you got duped.

    I think your avatar pretty much says it all about how you should feel. Sucker.

    gln1955 likes this.
  3. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Dang Chinese knockoff crap! They should be illegal!

    We need tort reform!

    Somebody should guard our economic borders!

    The cheap stuff will never meat expectations.

    Ban olive 'em I say!

    Sorry, just being a ham.

  4. bridgecables


    Jan 11, 2016
    Huh. I always wondered how they made those. Guess you learn something new every day
  5. covermego

    covermego Still here....... Supporting Member

    Sep 5, 2010
    Redding, CA
    Yeah. "Hand Crafted in Indonesia". You can tell by the Import Ginsu knife. If it was here in the USA, it would be a CNC slicer, capable of auto-slicing and beveling 1,500 pieces per minute.
    gln1955 likes this.
  6. Nobody

    Nobody Banned

    Jul 14, 2004
    Yep, that's Chinese knock-off tort loaf. It looks pretty bad but the tone is actually quite good.
  7. petrus61

    petrus61 Supporting Member

    I wonder if mine is just a printed image...faux tort maybe? Looks very different from yours:
    gln1955 and JCooper like this.
  8. JCooper

    JCooper ...meep. Supporting Member

    Oct 21, 2009
    (that's nasty)
  9. gln1955

    gln1955 Supporting Member

    Aug 25, 2014
    Ohio, USA
    Hmmm, sounds like I was had.

    I cut a slice off and fashioned it into a passable P-bass pick guard. It's starting to smell kinda funny and the dog has suddenly taken an interest in my bass. This may not end well.
    tangentmusic and Nobody like this.
  10. His avatar is terrifying if you get the reference. Hint: don't blink or look away.
    gln1955 likes this.
  11. fendermademygibson


    Jan 28, 2015
    Who might you be referring to?

    How is it that you and your crew have never ran into these things but some guy floating around in a glorified phone booth has had multiple encounters?

    gln1955 and Spectrum like this.
  12. I will eat it.
  13. DirtDog


    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    Needs more macaroni
  14. DirtDog


    Jun 7, 2002
    The Deep North
    Wibbley-wobbley, timey-wimey.
    gln1955 and Spectrum like this.
  15. twinjet

    twinjet AJ, you're the MAN! Staff Member Supporting Member

    Sep 23, 2008
    After you boil the pickguard, I'm hoping?
    Nobody and S-Bigbottom like this.
  16. Form my Mate and I,

    Happy Valentines Day.


    Now we will retire into our Love Camber.
    For those of you that are into this sort of thing, the door will be open, come on in.
  17. mrb327


    Mar 6, 2013
    Nobody Knows
    24 more, really?
    More time with the mate, less time on TB!
    S-Bigbottom likes this.
  18. Felken


    Jun 28, 2016
    Ottawa, CAN
  19. tangentmusic

    tangentmusic A figment of our exaggeration

    Aug 17, 2007
    Many of those Chinese sites show you a stock photo to draw you in then send you something different. Looks like you got suckered into to a classic tortloaf bait and switch.

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